Monday, July 9, 2012

true freedom is so dangerous

The old grandmas told me that their grandmas said that snakes travel when the wind blows. I laughed and said, so that means that snakes are traveling every day in South Dakota.

Yes, they said.


So, last night, after the wake was well underway, Charlotte at rest in the church, family and relatives and friends all around in the parish hall, I walked outside... the air was as still as a full moon is round. It didn't slip quickly through my fingers and hair, blowing dust into my eyes. It hung on my shoulders like a stole.... a holy night. The moon waning. I felt oddly free. And alive.

We are burying Charlotte because she refused cancer treatment. She's 49. When I first met her at my door, I saw something was wrong and I said --you should go to the doctor! And I remember her response --not the words, but her eyes.

She had let go. She was free. Truly free.

And true freedom is so dangerous.

At prayer this morning (Romans 8:26-28)
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

Please pray for the repose of the soul of Charlotte Blue Coat. Please pray for her family, relatives and friends. Especially the guys on the street. Amen.


David said...

Prayers offered for Charlotte and her priest, and all who love them both.

Prayers also for the men in the street and hoping they might have accepted your gracious offer to turn up sober to join the wake.

it's margaret said...

David --only three showed up. And since they weren't dropping things or swaying, I didn't worry about their sobriety --that they came, and were acting respectfully, that was enough.

JCF said...

"We are burying Charlotte because she refused cancer treatment."

FREELY refused, or functionally could not access? [There's no judgment here either way, I just wonder. When I was uninsured---for a number of years---and could access cancer screening (PAP smear/mammogram), it was nonetheless pointed out to me that, while they could tell me IF I had cancer, the same health care providers couldn't do bupkus about it if I DID.]

RIP/RIG...and more prayers!

it's margaret said...

Freely refused. She had full resources at her fingertips, but refused them. She had counseling to make sure her decision was not coerced or the result of depression. She freely refused.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Prayers for Charlotte and all who love her.