Wednesday, January 16, 2013

arms wide enough to hold it all, and waiting for my brain to click back on....

My brain is on 'pause' --I hit the button, and let it stay there.... I need to push it back on for a little bit tonight when we show the movie Dakota 38 in the parish hall, and then lead the discussion. But I can wait to turn my brain on again until after I shovel the snow that fell over night.... And then, after the movie tonight, I begin two weeks of vacation....

In the meantime, I have both dogs sitting in my lap... and the computer too. Paeha asked to get up for some post-breakfast loving, and then Mr. Witty sat just out of reach, moping. So, I tricked Witty in to coming closer, and picked him up to give him what he really wanted --center stage in my lap. Paeha is so tiny, he can sit between my hip and the edge of the chair and put his head on the arm of the chair --and he is happy just to be close. Mr. Witty, however, whom we used to think of as a small dog but is now twice the size of Paeha, demands more attention than just being close. He wants it all.

I understand. I truly understand.

What amazes me, is that I once thought of small dogs as merely lunch for bigger dogs --they weren't "real" dogs.... So, we've always had 40-60 pounds dogs. And I thought I only liked hounds, too... until I got my first shepherd type dog --and then it was all over.

I remember distinctly the first time I realized that we had shifted from dogs that could protect us, to dogs that needed protecting. We were camping with Mr. Witty at Snake Lake in northern California, and an osprey flew over --I saw its shadow move through our camp.... We had watched in wonder as this osprey picked salmon out of the water, a precision strike faster than the eye, lugging it with tremendous strength --the awesome wing span. And we knew the salmon was bigger than our dog. I hardly let Mr. Witty out of my arms the rest of the time....

And here he sits this morning, moping because he now has to share my arms....

And I understand. I truly understand.

At prayer this morning (from Isaiah 41)

You whom I took from the ends of the earth,
and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, “You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
do not fear, for I am with you,
do not be afraid, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Hey God, it's margaret here. Today is the last day of work before I begin two weeks of vacation --and tonight we show Dakota 38 in the parish hall with discussion to follow. Be with us. Tend your flock. Send no birds of prey this way. Help us hold each other in prayer without jealous moping. Give us the hearts to understand, eyes to see, ears to hear, and arms wide enough to hold it all.

--and most especially, thank you for the desolation of winter.... It is totally, freakin' awesome.

Now, I'm off to see if I can move with a broom the snow that fell over night... the snow here gives new meaning to the word 'powder'.


Kirkepiscatoid said...

Prayers that those watching the movie tonight can open up the conversations that need to be said.

Ann said...

Blessings on your vacation - take it fully -- the better to come back fully rested- mind body spirit. And remember the song "got along without you before I met you - gonna get along without you now" which can be sung by the church while you are away!!

it's margaret said...

Thank you!

susankay said...

vacation joyously!

Paul said...

A very blessed vacation to you! Let go for a while and trust the Spirit and the People.

it's margaret said...

Thank you dearest Paul.