leave it lay where Jesus flang it

Grateful

2012-01-26T16:47:00.000-05:00

We have arrived! No phone, no internet yet --at the Subway on the edge of town, eating and reading! My cell doesn't work up here either.... Will fix that.

We are settling in --everything fits! The town has two stop lights, the market sells Naked juice so I am happy I can get an occasional fix, the post office was not crowded, the library was flooded (pipes broke in the freeze last week), and now we are off to the Dollar Store hoping they sell toilet paper holders and towel racks....

Mr. Witty is grateful much of the snow has melted --but keeps rolling in all that remains. I guess he thinks it's macho...

We are well --happy, grateful --the journey here was arduous at best --freezing rain mixed with sleep and snow Saturday and Sunday. We saw at least 35 accidents --and chugged along at 35 mph. And we made it! Grateful.

We are so grateful for the welcome we have received --dinners, lunches, spare heaters, roses to adorn the boxes!

Sorry --no pictures yet.

At prayer (Psalm 50:1-2)

The LORD, the God of gods, has spoken; *
he has called the earth from the rising of the sun to its setting.
Out of Zion, perfect in its beauty, *
God reveals himself in glory.

We are still working on the rhythm of Eastern Standard Time --we are on Mountain Time here --90 miles away it is Central Time... very confusing... but with our inner clocks on Eastern time, we have been able to arise and sit at our table and watch the sun rise. We turn all the lights off and just sit and watch. Drink coffee (the third sacrament --in the morning anyway). The snow turns pink, with glassy blue-ish patches where there is ice. Folks walk by on the dirt road in front of our little house, shoulders hunched, hands in the pockets, hoods up over the hats... --part of our prayer. The little houses come alive slowly --outside lights blinking off, inside lights blinking on... like the sparkling in the snow and sky --an inbreaking through the dark and still.... a whole new rhythm to learn... perfect in its beauty. God reveals Godself in glory....

Grateful. Entirely grateful

While we emerged from the snow, he said the Resurrection was merely a by-product of Calvary...

2012-01-24T07:30:00.000-05:00

We have ninety miles to go... Spoke with Deacon Hazel Red Bird last night --she said they had a way plowed through the snow to the house and were so very glad we had arrived safely. This, on the phone over a bowl of spaghetti at the house of the Canon to the Ordinary and his family. Real food --first home-cooked meal eaten at a table in a long time... and it was good!

We packed the coffee pot and coffee and evaporated milk and mugs in the car so we can offer good n'hot to whomever shows today --the movers will be by themselves, no helpers...

I don't know what we will find... mostly joy and new friends and companions --and snow, but the snow is okay --it will be both the bonding agent among neighbors and the excuse to hunker down....

I am beyond hoping --to a place of spiritual wonder and dreams --that sounds weird, I know --but hope takes on a different color and dimension this morning... to have the sky open up and see blue for the first time in a week --to see the prairie emerging from the snow in colors for which I have no words --to venture in to something unknown yet familiar...

I told Mr. Witty we were 'home' --he perked up and stood in his little chair as we crossed the Missouri River --wagging his tail --alive like a fox --keen eyed... He has been so very brave in this journey --so vulnerable and so brave....

Listened to some radio while driving west of Sioux Falls yesterday, while Joel and Witty slept... heard a preacher say that the Resurrection was just a "by-product" of the cross, that it is not the Resurrection which is important, only Calvary.

Funny that.

And I saw God exhaling in the Incarnation while flesh inhaled --and flesh exhaling at Calvary while God inhaled --and God exhaling in the Resurrection while flesh inhaled --and flesh exhaling at the Ascension while God inhaled --a living breathing work of art that responds and is responsive --not a master clockmaker that winds something up and lets it go... God with us.

At prayer this morning, a Canticle: A Song of Faith
1 Peter 1:3-4, 18-21

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, *
by divine mercy we have a new birth into a living hope;
Through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, *
we have an inheritance that is imperishable in heaven.
The ransom that was paid to free us *
was not paid in silver or gold,
But in the precious blood of Christ, *
the Lamb without spot or stain.
God raised Jesus from the dead and gave him glory *
so that we might have faith and hope in God.

The Resurrection is not a by-product of anything. It is a sign for us of God's glory, so that we might have faith and hope in God...

Off we go --in faith and hope... in new colors from an old life. Amen.

wrap this up and hit the road doesn't mean what it says....

2012-01-23T07:55:00.000-05:00

Well --after a great deal of ice and snow and very slow slogging, we have spent the night in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. We must have seen at least 30 accidents, 35 still being a conservative number --commercial trucks jack-knifed and in the ditch or field, an RV on its roof behind a twisted up passenger truck, cars off the road... we slipped around a bit, enough to make Joel scream and Witty shake in fear and hide his head --but nothing more.

Now the journey to Pierre (pronounced peer, not Pea-aire).... Spoke with the movers. They are not sure whether they are arriving Tuesday or Wednesday --and this after they wanted us in Eagle Butte on Monday... it's been a moving target the whole time.... a good spiritual discipline, I suppose. Perhaps spiritual jumping-jacks.... I'm glad it's not today --we wouldn't make it!

Watching the news --hearing new words, new names, preparing the new mental map in my head to begin to re-orient, learn where and when and how. It hadn't made any news I have watched in the last two weeks --but former Gov. Bill Janklow died on January 12, and he was buried this last week. The news last night carried 20 minutes of eulogies and the like. It's big news here. The weather report goes on for a good 2/3 of each segment. And, a very wonderful, very soft accent in telling all the stories --most notably a long and soft emphasis on 'o' --like, Dakohhhta... or, Snohhhh... or, Cohhhhld....

--all is more than the same... it is new.

At prayer this morning (from Hebrews 8)

But Jesus has now obtained a more excellent ministry, and to that degree he is the mediator of a better covenant, which has been enacted through better promises.

It is difficult not to become triumphalist, or thinking that there is constant 'progress' --things getting better --that we can work to make the world 'better' --as this little bit o' scripture could imply... and it has certainly been used to imply those 'better' circumstances --Christian triumphalism, Christian superiority....

What I know in my heart is constant revelation --a newness in God's promise to us who follow the Lord of Life. It's a new map, a new way to re-orient, a new where and when and how --a new accent and manner of speaking to open the eyes and ears and heart.... we just don't have all the words to express that very well... so, of course, we rely on 'better' or 'more excellent'....

Joel took some pictures as we were driving yesterday as we entered South Dakota. Snowing. Blowing snow. The road disappearing before our eyes. A new revelation. A new way to move down the road....

Hey God --time to wrap this up and hit the road. See now, those words don't mean what they mean either.... How do I express the wonder, the joy?!

Off we go.

I like that

2012-01-21T07:03:00.000-05:00

Spent the night in Richmond, Indiana. We are hearing the news about road closures --but not about the storm that passed through --ice and then snow... but road closures for Super Bowl preparations.

Go figure! Confession... who's playing????

We are trying to get an early out because there is another storm coming --actually, we are heading in to it... we decided not to buy an ice scraper until we saw what worked with the locals... but there have been none for sale... so, the motel gave me a little weenie one to deal with what might be found on the car... Mr. Witty and I will go take a look.

At prayer this morning (beginning at John 4:27-42)

Just then his disciples came. They were astonished that Jesus was speaking with a woman, but no one said, "What do you want?" or "Why are you speaking with her?" Then the woman left her water jar and went back to the city. She said to the people, "Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah, can he?" They left the city and were on their way to him.

Consistently in John --the women participate strongly in the evangelism of the good news. The seemingly weakest vessels... the broken pots... there we are.

On in to the weather we go. God willing. Being safe and slow. Like the woman, evangelizing even while still asking questions.

I like that.

Signs.

2012-01-20T07:25:00.000-05:00

We are headed west --out of VA today, hopefully through West VA and on in to the wilds thereafter. Moving is harder work than I remembered... all the goodbyes not easy... especially since I know I will be back... but there is less of us in limbo than before, we have a destination and work to do, and that brings me great joy.

One of the movers, black and from Richmond... I was giving directions to the van driver to meet us elsewhere, and I said, Go down past the statue on Monument Ave etc.... Later, in a moment, I asked the mover --Can I ask you a point-blank question? He said, Yes. I asked, What is it like to move past those statues up and down Monument Ave? He said, no different than moving any other place --you see what you want to see, and what those statues imply is all over and any other place....

He has given me much food for thought. Sometimes the signs can be in many languages, whether the one who built the sign intended it or not... makes me wonder about our Christian 'signs' (sacraments)....

Hope to follow the signs that will get us where we are going today.

The General Thanksgiving

Almighty God, Father of all mercies,
we your ~~unworthy~~ [we have been made worthy by him who lived and died and lives for/with us] servants give you humble thanks
for all your goodness and loving-kindness
to us and to all whom you have made.
We bless you for our creation, preservation,
and all the blessings of this life;
but above all for your immeasurable love
in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ;
for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory.
And, we pray, give us such an awareness of your mercies,
that with truly thankful hearts we may show forth your praise,
not only with our lips, but in our lives,
by giving up our selves to your service,
and by walking before you
in holiness and righteousness all our days;
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit,
be honor and glory throughout all ages. Amen.

Peace out.

Traveling mercies

2012-01-18T09:52:00.000-05:00

Oh --how convenient! A blackout!!!

Hey --the moving van is coming tomorrow A.M. Food fairies bringing lunch and dinner today (THANK YOU!). Saying my prayers.

Peace out --m
Will post from the road as is possible.
Traveling mercies.

Thanksgivings. Intercessions. Devotions.

2012-01-17T08:31:00.000-05:00

Dang. Moving company called --instead of coming on Friday, they will come Thursday morning.

Oh Y.I.K.E.S. !!!!!

It's do-able even if still a crunch, because we had a good head start. What it means is I will not be able to go to my women's clergy group to say good bye, the walks will not happen --all the proper good-byes planned for this week will have to be morphed.... That is not so good.

What does not change is time for prayer --thanksgivings, intercessions, devotions... not necessarily in that order....

And here is a little bit o' scripture --some of my favorite: (John 3:16-21)

Jesus said, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.

Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Those who believe in him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already,* because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God.

John 3:17, first part in bold, is, to me, far more important than 3:16 --it addresses the condemnation of those who bandy judgment about like a cruel sword --Jesus did not come to condemn but to save --and the second part in bold addresses the judgment itself. The judgment is that the light has come --that is THE judgment --God. With. Us. --and still people love the darkness more than the light... that is the judgment. It's on us. The little '*' --condemned already, not in the storybook hell of brimstone and fire, but condemned as zombies --the living dead, walking, talking, eating, and immune to actually engaging in the joy.

Immune to joy. That just plain sucks. That's not life as God would dream it for us... So, --not condemnation in order to be cast out in the darkness, but judgment to be shown continuous mercy, compassion and love. Presence. God with us is the judgment.

Thanks be to God!!

Off I go. To pack. To pray as I pack. In faith. In hope. In charity. In love. Thanksgivings. Intercessions. Devotions.
Amen.

MLK, Occupy, packing... and packing...

2012-01-16T09:35:00.000-05:00

It's been a labyrinth of packing and showings.... Pack it. Stack it. And then move them all when we get the call --either to the basement or to a closet. And yesterday we had an open house --so it had to be neat and tidy and all the angst well disguised. I am doing house purgatory or something....

We had a return show yesterday too --that's hopeful... to me.

But, today, I have resolved not to do that any more... this week we are packing. And it's gonna show. Mostly because we will have a new mattress delivered and put it in the living room and then a washer/dryer/refrig coming and put that stuff in the hall and livingroom... still boxed... it's cheaper to buy it here and move it than it is to buy it there and have it delivered to the Reservation.

Go figure. Says a lot... to me. The moving van comes this Friday...

It's 18 degrees here this morning. 10 in Eagle Butte. That's cold... to me. Got my eye on the weather between here and there.... I packed my suitcase Saturday --already living outa my suitcase.

And on FB I am a member of a group that grew up when I did,, in Berkeley and went to the same elementary school I did... we are all talking about our 'forts' we would build in various places -the creeks, the hills, the parks (can you imagine a kids being allowed to build a fort in the pampas grass of a public park!?) --and we have been irreverent in deciding we would 'Occupy' a small mansion, Vikingsholm, at Lake Tahoe and build viking ships and sail around the Lake, plant native wildflowers, wear hats with horns... it is a State Park, after all. It has been fun remembering... to me.

And, the morning-after-the-Golden-Globes... it's pretty rank/frivolous... to me. --demonstrates the cult of personality.... Can you imagine the "Red Carpet" treatment for poets --or artists --or authors --or stay at home parents... ??

Well, honestly --all my concerns, at the end of the day, may seem rank/frivolous... how to hold them without them holding me... being able to hold them while being willing to let them go... knowing that it is, in the end, not MY life, not MY faith --but the life and faith of the One Who Lives --and I share in that Life, that Faith. And none of that can be held, because we are held in it....

At prayer (John 2)

Jesus answered, "Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be astonished that I said to you, 'You must be born from above.' The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit."

Martin Luther King was born of the Spirit. Counterlight has posted the Memphis speech. Do read it. My own post of last April, on the anniversary of the assassination MLK has received 250 hits this weekend. So much has changed in the last nine months... the mantle of despair has not been discarded, but at least there is not so much false hope... Occupy has been a voice I so longed for --prayed for... and still, there is so much to let go of --so much wind blowing where it chooses --don't know where it's from or where it's going... well, yes I do --in faith. And that is enough.

Now --on to packing. Amen.

soul from spirit --

2012-01-14T08:12:00.000-05:00

Running at prayer (Hebrews 4:11-13)

Indeed, the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow; it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And before him no creature is hidden, but all are naked and laid bare to the eyes of the one to whom we must render an account.

Well. There we are! Yes. --soul from spirit, joints from marrow --no where to hide --naked, bare, rendered --and made whole. That's how it happens. Undone to be made whole. Wheat crushed and thrown into the fire to be bread.

....soul from spirit... So. The soul is NOT the spirit. Food for thought.

Now, time to get to work. Gotta a surprise call late last night to show the house this morning and the house is a wreck being packed and all that.... Family coming too. And selling a bookcase....

There we are!
Peace out.

an un-repentant materialist, because things are signs of what is important

2012-01-13T09:37:00.000-05:00

It's Lee-Jackson Day here in the Commonwealth of Virginia. It is the day to commemorate Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson. Lee has been commemorated in VA since 1889 --first on his birthday (January 19th), then on a dual holiday --Jackson was added to the day in 1904 (b. January 21). Then the Day was merged with Martin Luther King Day --but, that was abolished in 2000. Now this day is celebrated on the Friday before MLK Day --which is this coming Monday --always on the third Monday of January. Gives many in this Commonwealth a four-day weekend....

I understand Lee-Jackson Day. Truly, I understand. But, I think this holiday is a bad sign of what the South lost...

And it's very, very windy here. The noise woke me up early. And the weather guy says it's cold --not much above 30 with the wind chill factor. So when I hear that, I flip to my 'home' page, and I have already switched my weather gadget to Eagle Butte, South Dakota --our new home destination --and this morning it is a warm 15 degrees --yesterday it was 9. Now, THAT'S COLD.

I keep worrying about Itty-Bitty Mr. Witty in that type of cold --like, he will need a jacket and boots to go out to take a leak. Joel is balking at the idea. I think it's common sense....... --and I keep wondering if our car, which will have a garage, will need a warming blanket or some such thing. At the very least, new kinds of fluids and oil? I don't know... yet. I hope not to learn the hard way.

And, we've begun to map out our route --staying south until Omaha, then heading north... Google alerted us to road construction etc., which made the job more interesting....

And we got our closets packed, except those things we will wear for the next two weeks....

And, we will have to move twice, unless the house sells this weekend --trying to decide what goes first and what stays... not as easy as it might sound. Also trying to coordinate with the stuff we are selling at the consignment shop....

And, it's not just about 'stuff' --Simone Weil has a very interesting take on materialism. In an overtly materialist culture, things "show" who you are in so many respects, but the things themselves usually have no other value than monetary --and can easily be exchanged or discarded for things of greater or lesser value. And, yes, we live in an overtly materialist culture. And discarding is usually what we do --through thrift stores and the like.... the stuff 'means' nothing.

--which is an antithesis for an Incarnationalist, if you know what I mean.... because things do matter --things do matter --they are how we come to know what is important, what is not, and all in between --we imbue things with meaning --as signs of all that matters. We need signs --sacraments. They help us remember....

Most of our 'things' are at least second-hand --and we have discovered that they have no real monetary value, most of them are busted/repaired --but the value we have is the stories... and the things have become signs of those stories. So, when we sold our piano earlier this week, we told the stories --to an appreciative buyer who told us she was buying it to teach piano --and we were thrilled. That made our story complete and happy. When we bought the piano, we had been married about three years --we had a mattress and box-spring, a table, two chairs, two cast iron pans and a piano... --we still have the cast iron pans... (all those meals....!!)

--and we know how rich we really are. Especially in the stories....

Praying while reading the stories, the Great Narrative (Psalm 22:24-26)

My praise is of him in the great assembly;
I will perform my vows in the presence of those who worship him.
The poor shall eat and be satisfied,
and those who seek the LORD shall praise him:
"May your heart live for ever!"

I am so deeply grateful for the stories, for the things as the signs of the stories, for the call I have received --blessed are you O Lord our God who brings forth from the earth fruit and meat and all good things to make glad our hearts, and our hearts to be the Body of your Son.

Now --off to pack some more --to care for the signs --a keeper, caretaker, steward of the signs...

--there we are. Amen.

I ate no Twinkies....

2012-01-12T08:31:00.000-05:00

It's my fault, you know... it's all my fault that Hostess Twinkies are filing for bankruptcy. I have eaten only ONE in my whole life --and it was just a bite --and never ever purchased any. Ever. In my whole life. And, of course, the Twinkie that I bit was deep fried. Alongside the deep fried coke.... I'll do just about anything at least once at a county fair. And the serpent made me do it. And I realized it was wrong and spit it out....

It's a wonder (haha --pun intended) that Twinkies weren't put under the jurisdiction of controlled substances a long time ago --I mean, remember, there was a certain someone who said he murdered Harvey Milk and the Mayor of San Francisco because he ate too many of 'em. Twinkies, that is.

And, yes, I am probably a little giddy --working working working on packing the house AND keeping it neat for showings --two things which are mutually impossible --one of which happens in less than an hour... so I gotta get a move on here.

I suppose you have heard or done or participated in those certain word games with hymns --switching the words, making puns --school girl games --childish prattle... One game we played as silly kids took the words to any hymn and at the end of every phrase, giggled and said "between the sheets" in order to subvert the meaning... Like, "Onward Christian soldiers" (between the sheets) --giggle giggle...

Well I caught myself doing that very thing this morning... yes, it shows a certain state of mind...

Hardly at prayer (Psalm 18:21-25)

The LORD rewarded me because of my righteous dealing; * (I ate no Twinkies)
because my hands were clean he rewarded me; (for eating no Twinkies)
For I have kept the ways of the LORD * (I ate no Twinkies)
and have not offended against my God; (I ate no Twinkies)
For all his judgments are before my eyes, * (I ate no Twinkies)
and his decrees I have not put away from me; (I ate no Twinkies)
For I have been blameless with him * (I ate no Twinkies)
and have kept myself from iniquity; (I ate no Twinkies)
Therefore the LORD rewarded me according to my righteous dealing, * (I ate no Twinkies)
because of the cleanness of my hands in his sight. (I ate no Twinkies)

Yeah... there we are... only seven more days to go until the moving van gets here (We're moving no Twinkies).

Oh my.....
Prayers for L,G,N,M's mom, P, --thanksgiving for dear Brother Paul out of the hospital --prayers for his continued recovery, J,P,B,N,M, and please please please let the buyer of this house come soon.

--and see something new....

2012-01-11T09:14:00.000-05:00

Some days, the Google icon is done up fancy, and if you let your cursor remain over it, it will show the name of a person Google is highlighting for day. I think of it as Google's calendar of saints, using the language of the Church.

Today, (for those who don't use Google) it looks like this:

It is supposed to show geological strata... with fossils embedded in it, in honor of Nicolas Steno, who was one of the pioneers of geology and anatomy. Wikipedia states, "By 1659, Steno had decided not to accept a statement as true simply because it was written in a book, but rather to rely on his own research."

You know, with a rigorous intellect and intellectual honesty, relying on one's own research can be a good thing. Otherwise it's just plain ol' dangerous... creating closed circuit systems that derail the train... been caught in a few of those myself --not digging deep enough, led by the nose, over trusting.... leading to false claims and outright lies. --like the pseudo-science that debunks global warming --or supports sexual "re"-orientation.

We all get caught short like... one way or another.

You know what I mean... ? But, imagine the courage, vision, imagination it takes to look at a current world view, dig in to it, and see something new... I stand in awe of that. Nicolas Steno was one of the courageous types, way back before the false division of science and religion. Way back when before modern literalists lost the myth and mysticism, lost the metaphor --and began to look at faith as a type of proof.

--when, it is not. Faith is not a proof. --Faith is a Way taken. A trust. A poem of living.

At prayer this morning (John 1:40-42)

One of the two who heard John [the Baptizer] speak and followed him [Jesus] was Andrew, Simon Peter's brother. He first found his brother Simon and said to him, "We have found the Messiah" (which is translated Anointed). He brought Simon to Jesus, who looked at him and said, "You are Simon son of John. You are to be called Cephas" (which is translated Peter).

--understanding is a work of our volition. We are brought to faith, one by one, through the living poem of another....

I love that Simon, the 'Rock' --petra --called Peter --Cephas, was brought (not first) to Jesus by his brother. One by one we meet. Not through deed or word, but a living witness, a living invitation... Not as a brow-beat, but an invitation... to a certain liberty. Freedom from the old way of seeing....

I am remembering and preparing to go in to a place where that invitation was nothing less than violent, an uprooting, an unwise degradation of local culture... a tool of destructive empire.... I am foolishly hopeful, not so much to win converts, but to be present... merely present. A poem of living.

Dear God, it's margaret. It will take many more generations to reconcile the violence done in your name. Help us help each other see you already at work among us, for the sake of our liberty from the lie. The great lie we tell ourselves and each other. Help us all dig deep. And see something new. Courage for the vision --the revelation --a new world view. And hear my prayers for M,B,S,M,M's mom,L,G,N,S,D,H... Amen.

Live with it for four seasons....

2012-01-10T08:46:00.000-05:00

At prayer this morning (Psalm 5:3)

In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; *
early in the morning I make my appeal and watch for you.

Worked all day yesterday, packing... basement nearly done, dining room nearly done, piano and harpsichord sold and delivered.... But there is a mess everywhere --empty boxes, packing materials --crazy. And we got a call late yesterday to show the house today --and then another call with an offer to have an open house this Sunday.

We decided to go for it. So, today I work all morning re-arranging the house and boxes to make the house show-able.... --and then clean it. And this afternoon, pile two more things in to the car for the consignment shop....

I think we have sold or given away at least a third of our belongings. We have a little more to go --and it feels really good.

But we are also both getting the going away blues....

And it seems when I touch the grief of going away, the deep well of all the other emotions in leaving becomes present to me --especially all the rupture stuff from this summer. There is no way to neatly package up what happened, box it and move it --most especially because I do not want to carry with me any more than than I have to.... So, like the stuff in the house, I will deal with it.

Deal with it. I remember. When I was engaged in the treatment of breast cancer --chemotherapy --nine months of it --when I was hooked up to the IV treatment stuff and I could feel and taste it enter my body (yes, taste it --almost immediately after the needle --it was gross), I used to assist/participate in the chemical treatment with my own spiritual exercise --I imagined myself and a whole crew of swarthy firefighters and gorgeous miners in a raft --and we would travel through my blood stream on the cresting wave of the chemotherapy --and the swarthy firefighters would set fire to suspicious areas, and the gorgeous miners would dig out the crusty remains and we would carry the junk in the raft out of my body and dispose of it.

It helped me deal with it. It helped me participate in my own healing.

So, now in the grief and the deep well of all the other emotion in the ruptured leaving, I am engaging in another spiritual exercise --recalling those swarthy firefighters and gorgeous miners to help me travel through the deep interiors of my soul --to help me clean my inner house... and the helpful stuff (like, sometimes anger is VERY healthy, sometimes not --wisdom to know the difference) I am sorting through and putting that helpful stuff it in to temporary boxes to carry with me. The other stuff... loads of it, it seems, the other stuff gets loaded in to the raft for disposal....

It's just hard work.

And I know I'll pack and carry some stuff I really don't need, and some stuff that I should dispose of... that's just the way it works.

But the really important stuff --I have no doubts.... even with the knowledge that in the big picture, even that stuff will need redeeming, unpacking, rearranging.... But that is work for another day. Not right now.

And right now, I am consciously cultivating the new spaces freed up --getting ready --anticipating the new place --a welling up of joy that I am so ready to set loose --that wildness, that freedom --that call recalled from exile so that we might enter the wilderness that is and will be South Dakota.

Packing up. Sorting. Discarding. Ready to move the important stuff --ready to rearrange and decide what to unpack to begin anew. Dealing with the old --anticipating the new with great joy.... !!!

Hey God, it's margaret. you hear my voice. early in the morning I make my appeal. First, thank you. And help me remember and live in to my Grandmother's words --live with it for four season before you decide if it's a keeper; live with it for four seasons before you dig in an unknown part of the garden to see what grows; live with it for four seasons.... help me carry what is necessary and beautiful, helpful and healthy. help me pack, unpack, and gaze upon the deep well with courage and grace. Amen.

Miner's Daughter here.

Avocado Tarts as a sign... Sure, I'll go there.

2012-01-09T08:44:00.000-05:00

Had family down over the weekend --from B'more. It was good. Very good.

As a farewell dinner we went to Pescados on China Street here in Richmond. It happened this way: A neighbor and friend caught us piling in to the car, and he said --you MUST go to Pescados before you leave Richmond. So we went. When we got there, we saw friends who were very excited about our pending move. They are medical professionals and promised to come on a service mission when we were settled in our new home. When we were seated at our table, the owner came and talked with us (what a card!) --and he told us MS had called and said dessert was on us. Now, dinner was FABULOUS! I had the wild shrimp enchilada --OMG --and other plates at the table included the scallops (which looked and smelled divine) and the pork. But then we had dessert --and we had the avocado tart OMG --a lime/citrus/avocado creme filling in a graham cracker crust infused with coconut and fresh avocado garnishes to top it all off.

O.M.G. Died and gone to heaven.
We won't be getting much of that in the near future unless we figure out how to make it ourselves. And I think we will be a but busy otherwise for a while.

Besides... Joel is gonna have to try things like fry bread and Indian tacos !!!!

At prayer this morning (Genesis 2:6-8)

-then the LORD God formed man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being. And the LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east; and there he put the man whom he had formed. Out of the ground the LORD God made to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food, the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

--every tree good to look at and good for food, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And we have eaten it all....

Hey God. it's margaret here. You know I have often ranted to you about putting something there in front of us and then saying 'no--don't do that' --with its succulent fruit right in front of our noses. You know I already know all that food stuff, manna from heaven, Passover lamb, bitter roots, sweet milk and honey... our exile from the true source, --paradise, the garden... which is why I sometimes imagine paradise as a swimming pool of tapioca pudding --or heaven as trees of dark chocolate and sips of merlot. But, now I know paradise/heaven is an avocado tart.... I am reformed. Repentant. Whatever. A new vision. So, let me say this: the ever changing canvas of food as paradise art/longing --the heart of your people --the expression through their hands of their desire to taste the produce of heaven once again is amazing and inspiring. And I am grateful to stand in that kitchen at that counter at that table where simple bread and wine are proclaimed H.O.L.Y. as a sign that all food is H.O.L.Y. --brought forth from the earth and shaped in human hands as a sign of heaven. And we name it. Remembering your very self as the only and true ingredient. In all things. You know. The desire of our Hearts. Amen.

G'wan. Go to church.

2012-01-07T22:17:00.000-05:00

In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. And just as he was coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like a dove on him. And a voice came from heaven, "You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased." (Mark 1:10-11)

I love it that tomorrow we hear about the First Day of creation --the light and the dark --and God saw that it was good. And then we hear the Gospel, and when Jesus pops up out of the water, God saw that was good, too. Pleased, is the word, heh!

G'wan. Go to church. I have the feeling that God sees us, and is pleased. Too. Especially as we gather and pray in the name of... Jesus popping up out of the water all over again, all over.

G'wan!

All of us related. All of us one.

2012-01-07T07:38:00.000-05:00

We FINALLY have a moving date. Two weeks from now.

SOOOOO much work to do. I might be spare around here. Have I said how much this "space" helps overcome the ~~feelings of~~ isolation?

At prayer this morning (Galatians 3:23-29)

Now before faith came, we were imprisoned and guarded under the law until faith would be revealed. Therefore the law was our disciplinarian until Christ came, so that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer subject to a disciplinarian, for in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith. As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to the promise.

Promise. Faith. Liberty from the law--our own Passover.... Gladly, those are things I can move with us without a box.

All of us related. All of us one.

Question: if we are Abraham's offspring (in so far as the promise), then how can we also be members of Christ's Body and children of God?

There we are --I'll push in to that while I pack the basement today.

Oh --and did you see this? --a teenager in Texas, lied about her age and where she was from and fooled everyone, and was deported. An American citizen (who spoke no Spanish) was deported to Columbia. Sounds so very familiar.... --1. our mental health resources available for teens absolutely sucks. --2. we sure love to deport folks in a hurry.... --situation intolerable. Just sayin'.

Peace out.

Look up. Look around.

2012-01-06T09:17:00.000-05:00

Collect of the Day: O God, by the leading of a star you manifested your only Son to the peoples of the earth: Lead us, who know you now by faith, to your presence, where we may see your glory face to face; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

I know this is a great day. Great. Day. Stars in the sky. Our light has come. God manifest.

Manifest: late 14c., "clearly revealed," from Latin manifestus "caught in the act, plainly apprehensible, clear, evident," from manus "hand" + -festus "struck" (cf. second element of infest).

Revelation --Old French.

Apocalypse --Greek [apokalyptein "uncover, disclose, reveal," from apo- "from" + kalyptein "to cover, conceal" Its general sense in Middle English was "insight, vision; hallucination;" meaning "a cataclysmic event" is modern.]

Epiphany --also Greek: from epi "on, to" + phainein "to show". Of divine beings other than Christ, first recorded 1660s; general literary sense of "any manifestation or revelation."

So many words and more to describe the shredding of the veil, the mystery made plain as day --no longer hidden from us --right in front of our faces --face to face with God.... We no longer have to worry what God is up to --what the 'plan' is. We know. We know. All we have to do to know is look at Jesus.

What Jesus did --God at work in flesh and blood. As 'followers' of Jesus (Joel and I have been having many many conversations the last few weeks as to what 'followers' means --in the NT Greek, it is NOT like 'follow' the leader... (well, maybe it's like that in the Gospel of Mark) --it IS more like some one who accompanies, walks alongside, a helper (acolyte in the Gospel of John)) --as followers of Jesus, we are called to do what he did --feed, shelter, comfort, encourage, reconcile, liberate... you can name them. You can do them. We can. Together.

At prayer this morning (Isaiah 60:1-2)

Arise, shine; for your light has come,
and the glory of the LORD has risen upon you.
For darkness shall cover the earth,
and thick darkness the peoples;
but the LORD will arise upon you,
and his glory will appear over you.

Look up. Look around. It's all around. Amen.

--did they look at Joseph and then the baby and say 'sure, he looks just like you'

2012-01-05T10:21:00.000-05:00

At prayer this morning (John 11:18-27)

Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, some two miles away, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them about their brother [Lazarus]. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, while Mary stayed at home.

Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him."

Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."

Martha said to him, "I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day."

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

She said to him, "Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world."

It stuns me that this is the Gospel for this morning... in so many ways.

I love the way Martha keeps pushing Jesus.
I love the way Jesus stays with her and says to her only what she can probably hear as she is able. From accusation--'if you had been here' to revelation.

And she ends with her eyes and heart wide open.

Thus it goes. In the end, even faith does not belong to us. We share in it.

There we are. On the Eve of the Epiphany --mystic chords star hymns cradle revelation. Strangers get it.

I wonder if any one of those that visited the manger that night looked at Joseph, looked at Jesus, looked at Joseph again and said, 'sure, he looks just like you --got your nose!'

Revelation.... Patient revelation, as we can bear it.

Peace out --time to get to work!

Baptism as ordination, and working as a priest in hope for those who sleep or whose lamps run out of oil

2012-01-04T07:40:00.000-05:00

In packing boxes, I have run across some forgotten stuff... in the midst of conversations with Joel about resurrection, baptism, priesthood... in the basement, of course. Pertinent conversations during this time of transition. I found this letter I wrote to him about 13 years ago --when I desired to be in "the process" for ordination. It reads:

My Dearest Beloved,

I have reflected at length upon the questions asked me in this process of discernment, and although I have been asked where I've been, what I've read, and why I believe I am called, not one question has directly asked me where I think I am going. I have supposed this is because most would consider priestly formation yet to come. I do agree with that supposition to some extent; however, I would like to articulate to someone my vision, what I see before me. As you are my priest and vicar, and the one most closely associated with me in this process, you get this!

I see tremendous change in the Church and the shape of the Priesthood of all the baptized; the suffering of Christ before me; the transformation of conversion as a conviction; the shape of ordained priesthood in light of the Church; what I have been called to witness.

The change in the Church has not been a sudden process, nor one which is singular to this generation. The change in the Church is and always has been the Anglican purchase of politics and social change coupled with its organic mix of protestantism and orthodoxy. The new mix in the batter has more to do with social changes at large than the institutional response to ordinary time. And those social changes in this generation have been articulated in science, the end and beginning of the presuppositions in this "postmodern" ethos. Popular culture at large has adopted the presuppositions of science, which presumably conflict with the Tradition of spirituality within the Church. (And yes, I hate the word spirituality, but until I discover another, I shall use it. And NO I do not for a minute believe the spirituality of the church conflicts with science.) The spirituality of the Church embodies the essence of the Incarnation, that flesh and blood point the way to God; that materiality is the sign of creation, of God's Love. And that this flesh and blood is united as One, its relationship transcendent and at once rooted in the mud from which the first fish climbed, just as we have been taken up and are hid with Christ in God.

There is no other way to the supreme perfection of God except through the spiritual transmogrification of flesh and blood.

But science, in its popular state of understanding, denies this and thus also rejects the Tradition of the Church. It has been beaten into the head of every school child that matter can neither be created or destroyed; that matter can be typically described with predictable behavior which can be reduced to universal equations; and that if it cannot be observed and described, it does not exist.

I know that true science has freed itself from that material noose, but popular notions are embedded in world views and take generations to change. This is a problem of this generation in the Church: our world view is embedded in an antique scientific methodology and metaphor, and the crux of the matter is that science itself is in a great state of change.

The changes can/should become for us the present signature of God's love made manifest. This is the Person. Personhood. Love made manifest.

And, this (Love made manifest) is the comfort and succor we offer one another of Christ's resurrection, not only in the works of all the baptized, but in ordination. In the single sacrifice of ordination the imperfect uplifting and surrender is made visible; because of the Incarnation and Resurrection, we have ordination.

Perhaps when the nut is finally cracked and we can see our way clear of the nudity of our current understanding of priesthood, our ignorance and sin laid bare, we shall finally ditch confirmation and offer ordination. To all. Baptism leads to ordination. But offer the same current prerequisites to ordination --the exams, the interviews, the schooling, the scrutiny, all common and ordinary and expected of ALL adults in the Church. Then we shall finally be a church of priests. And then, in God's perfect time, perhaps we shall begin to understand who we already are.

In this ordination, I seek/envision foolishness. The maidens waiting for the Bridegroom to appear always fall asleep or run out of oil, and others will not wake them or share their oil, afraid they themselves will miss out. I wish to wait by those maidens that sleep, and when the Bridegroom comes, adorn their sleeping bodies with warm blanket --God knows why they sleep; and those who panic because they have run out of oil, I want to be there to whisper in their, "Have faith. Don't stand on the merits of custom; don't go thinking you need to seek crude oil in the market or you will miss out. Have faith. Seek the true light. Our Lord will be light enough in this dark."

I do not seek to minister to the saved, to those who have rest enough or wit enough or oil enough. Yes, there must be those who stand awake with full lamps; the whole world would be lost without them. But I know I must stand with those who are asleep and in the dark, with the fools for foolishness' sake. I who know the Grace in suffering, must stand with those who don't know they are suffering. I desire to stand with the convicted.

Foolishness, because I only hope against hope that the story stopped short, the other part not told. You see, yes, there will be many who will miss out on the feast, who will bang on the door and be turned away. There will be those who miss the boat. But I hope the Kingdom is not subject to our imperfection. And I hope those at the feast, those banging at the door and even those who are asleep and have missed the boat --all will stand in awe when the last Word is spoken. Not one shall be left unincorporated.

I once asked a holy man after he preached a magnificent sermon on the Church as a perfect circle, "Which part defined the Church --the circle? --that which was inside the circle, or that which stood outside?" And, he answered, "What circle?"

On that day, my dearest and most beloved, don't look for me --look for the One who made me. God willing, that is all that will remain of me.

I love thee,
margaret

I am pondering what I thought --what my vision was... more than a decade ago. How much of it is working to fruition... the gift of remembering where I was, how I was and am being formed --the work of the Spirit to push me in integral ways into that vision I had --a vision which is not static and is still morphing --but how much of it is still alive in me. ---Thinking of Baptism and the invitation we give to those newly risen from the font --join us in Christ's eternal priesthood. Baptism as ordination.... a Kingdom of priests working for a world where all sacraments shall cease. --a world where sacraments are no longer necessary --where particular ordination is no more --because signs are not necessary to point to that which is already obvious and present.... where particular bread and particular wine are not given at the altar because all is bread, all is wine....

at prayer this morning (Canticle: Third Song of Isaiah
Surge, illuminare
Isaiah 60:1-3, 11a, 14c, 18-19)

Arise, shine, for your light has come, *
and the glory of the Lord has dawned upon you.
For behold, darkness covers the land; *
deep gloom enshrouds the peoples.
But over you the Lord will rise, *
and his glory will appear upon you.
Nations will stream to your light, *
and kings to the brightness of your dawning.
Your gates will always be open; *
by day or night they will never be shut.
They will call you, The City of the Lord, *
The Zion of the Holy One of Israel.
Violence will no more be heard in your land, *
ruin or destruction within your borders.
You will call your walls, Salvation, *
and all your portals, Praise.
The sun will no more be your light by day; *
by night you will not need the brightness of the moon.
The Lord will be your everlasting light, *
and your God will be your glory.

Amen.

And now on to my day and more temporal conversations... selling some chairs --showing the house... oh please, somebody... buy this beautiful ol' place, because it is time to move on....

Peace out.

--a sound of sheer silence

2012-01-03T09:06:00.000-05:00

At prayer this morning (1 Kings 19:11-13)

He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”

Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.

--a sound of sheer silence.

Love that. --like the sound of one hand clapping... --the sound of silence --which if truth be told, is always ...well almost always the way I experience God.

I "understand" it this way: God, Creator of all, created all that exists, and because the creator of all that exists did not create God's self, Creator God is something other than existence --so, we cannot honestly say that God exists.... Just like the One who uttered The Word is not The Word, but is a sound of sheer silence....

I get that. And it does not (in my mind) set the stage for dualism. It can't. Because it is not 'if this than that' or 'if this not that' --it is always merely multiplication by 1 which is that which is amplified... because we are one... or we are one plus infinity which leads to Trinity....

I mean, if we begin there, Three in One, One in Three --that's just as easy to grasp as a sound of sheer silence... right?

Love it. Besides, if anyone has lost that tinge of mysticism, here it is for you. Go stand on the mountain --seek the vision. There will be great wind, earth quakes, fire --but you will find the LORD in a sound of sheer silence.

Love it.

As I work to continue to lighten our load, I will sing and work and sing some more. And then in the middle of the hubbub of movement, perhaps I will stop and seek a sound of sheer silence. Just for fun.

Because, I love it.
Amen.

And poor Mr. Witty --seeking the dark quiet place under the chair I've put up for sale on Craig's List... one of his favorite places.... But, I have hope he will find a new place... poor little guy, all this hubbub. That is also my prayer this morning....

Amen.

Pulling up the roots....

2012-01-02T10:01:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna be makin' a list and checkin' it twice... so much to do.

Each time we move, I swear I'm never moving again. I know that this current move will result in another move at some point in time, but I hope it's a very, very long time from now. I think one of the most difficult parts of the job of priest is roots --in my experience anyway, you don't get any. You have to go deep and make 'place' in other ways.

Going deep to make place... by nurturing the awe of the wild spaces where you are; remembering to look at the stars every now and then; stepping out of the rut, the box, whatever, to feel the currents, the wind, the earth moving under your feet....

In Richmond, it is the river which for me has remained one of the wild spaces. The parks and other open places are so domesticated as to become worn. The river, while confined to its bed and punctuated by dams and bridges, rises and churns sometimes days after a storm --connecting us with what has gone on upstream and all around. Its surface belies its power. And the wild things dwell there. Yes, it bears the burden of urbanization, but it fights back by spilling against the flood walls, running over its banks --and it takes lives, every year. Lives that forget or do not know how to respect the wild strength of the river.

And, water --our life source... cannot live without it... and, too much... well... then we cannot live. The river is a good place to go deep. And remember.

It has been difficult to search for the stars in Richmond --the city lights blanket our vision from the dark reaches and turn our gaze to the skyline instead, the buildings sparkling in cheap imitation of the night sky.

Sometimes the dark reaches inside allow for more in-breaking of heavenly light --reaching for the stars in the soul depths.

And, I confess, the deeps ruts of the south, while not my own, became familiar to me. From the lush leafy comfort of sticky warmth in summer, the unspeaking of differences, to the violence of politeness.... It seemed that when I struggled against the present ruts, I found them to be even deeper and more familiar than I first considered or knew. And yet, I was told so often and in so many ways that I didn't fit in....

I still wonder what that truly means --not fitting in. And whether or not that has actually been a blessing... a blessing spurned.

At prayer this morning (Ephesians 4:1-6)

I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.

But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ's gift.

I have loved it here. Truly loved it. The people. The foods. The worship. It hurts to pull on these roots....

Perhaps I can braid them, clean them off and make them strong, and carry them with me as an unexpected gift. One body. One Spirit. One calling. One Lord. One faith. One baptism. One God. Through all and in all.

To the big sky country, big wind country, sight equal only to the horizon... a new river to come to know.

I am so ready. Got so much to do. Amen.

--we will live to do this or that....

2011-12-31T08:43:00.000-05:00

It is already the New Year in Australia... funny how that works. When we lived out west, we always celebrated New Year in New York time so that we wouldn't have to stay up so late. (We are such party animals!) It occurs to me now that we could celebrate the New Year in Australian time, and then just keep partying all day until we decided to go to bed... and then be assured that we will not have missed it! Or, something like that....

What a year! Actually, I was looking at the month of December on the calendar and thinking --OMG, how'd I do that!? I had three interviews, preaching gigs, jail chaplaincy, showed the house seven times, twice more while away on interview --and the whole mess of every day life.

--and it's all to the good. The whole year --all to the good. Even the really, really hard parts, --rampant with sin and brokenness... I see redemption on the hoof. And we are tasting the New Year with the tip of our tongues and liking it! A lot!

God is Good. This little bit o' scripture leaped off the page:

(James 4:13-15)

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.” Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.”

In that light, I have no New Year's resolutions except Lord, your will be done... God willing, we will live and do this or that... like move, begin work in a new and distant place and join the good people there in ministry, whatever shape and form that may be. And in the small places between those tasks, love the ol' man, pray for all y'all, and undertake to care for this ol' body which is the only way I can come to know and love and participate in life.

Which is not to forget the little dog, either! --who sleeps this morning with one paw tucked under his chin and the other leg stretched out straight enough to reach for the stars....

There we are. If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that! Happy New Year everybody!

The liturgical calendar has been unrelenting this week....

2011-12-30T09:30:00.000-05:00

The banner headline at the Daily Office site I frequent reads: Frances J. Gaudet, Educator and Prison Reformer, 1934.

Prison reformer.... The week after The Feast of the Incarnation is usually festive --folks take time off from work, school, or travel to see family and friends and all the like. We still have another week to celebrate Christmas, Emmanuel, the mind-blowing and radical notion that God is not 'out there,' but is indeed With Us.

However, the liturgical calendar has been unrelenting this week: St. Stephen, Deacon & Martyr; St John the Evangelist; Holy Innocents; Thomas Becket.... --from being stoned to death, to the strange ecstasy of eagle vision, to the murder of innocents, to the betrayal of love and loyalty... and now, today, we are being asked to enter in to prayer and remember prison, prisoners and prison reform.

Unrelenting, indeed. My personal longing and desire to remember Christmas joy and the delight of Incarnate Love and Reconciliation seems drowned in blood... imprisoned in the remembering of our violent histories.

Is there not one day of just plain ordinary Christmas?

Frances J. Gaudet, Educator and Prison Reformer, 1934. Why? I googled the name. I half expected Frances to be a man... but she's a she --a prison reform worker and educator, was born in a log cabin in Holmesville, Mississippi of African American and Native American descent.

She has my sudden attention and respect. There are too many obstacles in her way before she even begins --in a world rampant with racism and gender bias. And yet, she persists. Pushing for help for juvenile offenders who also have the world of race and poverty built against them. Building schools. Helping prisoners of all stripes....

I have served as a volunteer chaplain at the Richmond City Jail. I enter the world of concrete and iron bars and am always humbled by the fervent prayer, the longing, the pain --the knowledge that even when one is released from the jail, the patterns of life that lead to 'the big house' are not so easily left behind. Families and neighborhoods reek with violence and poverty, and resources seem to be more liberally spent on incarceration rather than food, school, housing, job training... hope.

In this bundle of remembering the martyrs and the murdered, the coin suddenly flips. There is room here for joy, for rejoicing. Frances J. Gaudet, Educator and Prison Reformer, 1934. She took her own mortal and imperfect human flesh and worked to free the prisoner, to feed their souls and spirits with hope and love. Not with words, rhetoric or advocacy, but with her own life. Against all odds.

From the lectionary for the Eucharist (John 13:34-35)

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.’

May we all find the ways to respond to the call to love. There is no better way to celebrate the Feast of the Incarnation.

I wrote this for Speaking to the Soul at the Episcopal Café.

Movin' on to a boogy Christmas

2011-12-29T10:49:00.000-05:00

We're moving on down the road... !! We are expecting a moving van company to come give us an estimate today... Yikes! Yahoo! Oh My!!! --yes, the full range! Have already received one estimate already....

So much work to do. Better do it to a little boogy music, know what I mean?

We continue to pare down our 'stuff'. It has been as liberating as it is emotionally shocking --at first. The shock only comes when we decide to let go --shock first --then grief... but ultimately, the thing that sticks is liberation.

Yeppa.

These whole few months have been liberating... ultimately. Shock first, then real deep grief --but, ultimately liberation.

At prayer this morning (John 2:1-11)

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.

When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine."

And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come."

His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."

Now standing there were six stone water jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, "Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim.

He said to them, "Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward." So they took it. When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom and said to him, "Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now."

Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

I wonder if that is why Jesus tell his mother 'not now' --he's in the shock stage...

And, ultimately, this story is not about changing water to wine... it's about Jesus being revealed in his glory as the true bridegroom, --because that other bridegroom had no real clue what was going on...

--and Jesus, the true bridegroom, supplies the best wine --the very best wine.

It's not the wine, it's what the wine points to... that's just the way the 'signs' work in John.

Just the way they work.

And, because it's still Christmas --Merry Christmas!

The 'embed' was disabled --but here's a little merry Christmas music for you! A boogy Christmas to ya!

Peace out, all!

My mantle of hope is a shabby little thing --stained with grief like wine on linen

2011-12-28T12:41:00.000-05:00

It is Holy Innocents.

There is so much I remember on this day. I remember our (Joel's and mine) personal history of loss --nine pregnancies and no babies to hold. I had ectopic pregnancies (scarred fallopian tubes prevented the embryo from traveling to the uterus to settle and grow). I remember that there was very little consciousness of the pain of loss of a pregnancy thirty years ago. It was something folks just didn't talk about... Joel and I had our own liturgies to name our loss.

One thing we learned in our grief is that there is no name in any human language for parents who have lost children. If you lose your spouse, you are a widow/er. If you lose your parents, you are an orphan. Naming helps place the grief in a context --the social/cultural part of the loss is acknowledged. If you lose a child, you are un-nameable. It is so horrific, we cannot do not even name it. Without a name, there is no social recognition of the grief. That is just the way it works.

So, on Holy Innocents, I have usually had a special liturgy to acknowledge and name the grief. Others who know this grief have joined in prayer.

And for some, that kind of liturgy is important in this Christmas time during which families gather in church and for dinner and etc. --and the gaping hole in the heart and soul grows tender to the touch. Again.

Rachel is weeping for her children. There is no 'closure' for that kind of grief. The grief only changes. Changes color. Changes texture. Changes its timing....

On Holy Innocents I have also always remembered the Lakota and the Battle of Wounded Knee. The anniversary of this so-called battle (most all of the Indians were not armed) is tomorrow. I heard of the ramifications of this horror first hand from my own grandmother. The slaughter of women and children... the slaughter of a whole way of life... the slaughter of a people.... After years of relentless pursuit, purposeful insult, sickness, injury and broken treaties, the people were slaughtered --there is no better word for it... except perhaps holocaust.

Rachel is weeping for her children.

From the lectionary for the Eucharist on this day (Jeremiah 31:15-17)

Thus says the LORD:
A voice is heard in Ramah,
lamentation and bitter weeping.
Rachel is weeping for her children;
she refuses to be comforted for her children,
because they are no more.

Thus says the LORD:
Keep your voice from weeping,
and your eyes from tears;
for there is a reward for your work,
says the LORD:
they shall come back from the land of the enemy;
there is hope for your future,
says the LORD:
your children shall come back to their own country.

Blessed are they who believe what the LORD has promised --there is hope for your future, your children shall come back to their own country.

Hey God, it's margaret... --hope is such an odd thing.... So very different from reconciliation... perhaps hope is the parent of reconciliation? --hope gives birth to faith, even? In this frontier of hope, there is the borderland of the holy --which is as un-nameable as, well, you know.... I guess this is why I like Mary, because she wept the tears of Rachel without hope and saw her life's work --her best art hung to die on a tree of shame. And still she chose love. --still she chose proximity to the risk and death. --still she witnessed. --she didn't run. To tell the truth God, she, not you --not Jesus, SHE opened the door to faithful living for me... because, she knows... Rachel's tears. --but, you know that already. Anyway, I pray for those who live without hope, who have lost hope, and I wrap the mantle of hope about my shoulders, yeah --I know, it's a shabby little thing against all the elements of grief --but it wipes away the tears of Rachel --is stained with grief like wine on linen --is worn like a stole --it's all I have --and a sign that I shall hold you to your promise --there is hope for your future, your children shall come back to their own country.... I shall hold you to your promise.

Yes. I. Shall.

Amen.

Ode to St. John

2011-12-27T10:57:00.000-05:00

--things are germinating. Although it is winter, the compass of light pierces the dark, life is already at work deep underground. All that unseen that brings new life never rests --needs no rest, as All that unseen that brings new life has been restless since before time... before light and dark, earth and sea uttered their cacophony --before the sun and stars and moon gave hymn to the sky....

Joy is the mouth of the source of that restless All.
Yes it is.
And it is moving deep in my bones, new connective tissue bone to bone.
New life out of the chaos....
Not drawn and quartered by compass --but boundless, limitless

At prayer this morning (Proverbs 8:22-30)

The LORD created me at the beginning of his work,
the first of his acts of long ago.
Ages ago I was set up,
at the first, before the beginning of the earth.
When there were no depths I was brought forth,
when there were no springs abounding with water.
Before the mountains had been shaped,
before the hills, I was brought forth -
when he had not yet made earth and fields,
or the world's first bits of soil.
When he established the heavens, I was there,
when he drew a circle on the face of the deep,
when he made firm the skies above,
when he established the fountains of the deep,
when he assigned to the sea its limit,
so that the waters might not transgress his command,
when he marked out the foundations of the earth,
then I was beside him, like a master worker;
and I was daily his delight,
rejoicing before him always.

--and what joy/rejoicing it is indeed to share in that life, in that delight --to have that life at work in me! And you! What merit is there in us to share in the foundation of all?

Hey God, it's margaret. Today you make yourself known anew again. Today we remember St. John who saw in ecstasy only the red hem of your inner garment --because who can look at you and not explode?! Today I remember the people of St. John, Eagle Butte who weave the warp and weft of hope. --and between hope and joy, there are dry bones bereft of manna --bereft of bereft of air --but dry bones stand, the rocks and stars alike sing, and earth itself erupts with bread and the fruit of the vine, and become the flesh and blood of your own body --begotten for time. Our time. Before light and dark you made time to bear the burden... because how else will we know you? Eternal every moment.

Amen.

Such is my Ode to St. John.

Stuffed squirrel butt and other thoughts about our enemies on St. Stephen's Day

2011-12-26T09:33:00.000-05:00

Okay --I have now slept with stuffed squirrel butt in my face... himself just won't let go of it.

And that's about as close as any of us can come to touching this marvelous squirrel, except when he wants me to throw it for him --so that he can chase it kill it... --and, it has been killed more times in the last 24 hours than I know how to count --if you know what I mean. Terrible growls and pitiful squeaks. Thank you M for such a wonderful toy!

And after a wonderful midnite mass at historic Fork Church, we slept in and had the laziest Christmas Day evah! It was great --first Christmas in about 25 years that one or the other or both of us didn't call Christmas a working day, or didn't have a death we needed to tend, or a hospital to visit --we just talked and ate and talked and napped. Mr. Witty killing his squirrel between us. It was and in so many ways has been a wonderful sabbatical --but I am remembering, and I am so ready to get back to work.

Today is the day we remember St. Stephen --a servant of the people, stoned to death --approved by the one who would become St. Paul.... Funny how that works.

At prayer this morning (Acts 7:59-8:8)

While they were stoning Stephen, he prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he knelt down and cried out in a loud voice, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he died.

And Saul approved of their killing him.

That day a severe persecution began against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout the countryside of Judea and Samaria. Devout men buried Stephen and made loud lamentation over him. But Saul was ravaging the church by entering house after house; dragging off both men and women, he committed them to prison.

I am remembering this morning a sermon I heard at St. Gregory's of Nyssa --shortly after 9/11 and it was a question in the sermon that stunned me --the preacher said that many comfortable liberals were having a hard time with 9/11 because they couldn't believe that somebody could hate them so much and want them dead --or want them "to pay".... or many comfortable liberals were stunned because they were lumped together with the Demon West, despite the fact that they themselves did not cop to the motives nor the events that have been perpetrated in our name for the past --oh, century or more.

But the preacher said, 'Do you know your enemies? --have no doubt --you are hated, and there are people who want to kill you simply for being an American. You have enemies.'

I do not remember how the preacher resolved it, but this morning I am remembering the witness of St. Stephen. He did what we are all called to do --incarnate love and reconciliation. Even with those who hate us. Even with those who wish to kill us.

So not easy. And just because one loves, one should not expect love in return. That is not the way it seems to work...

But, St. Stephen's witness to love and reconciliation may have been the first chink out of Saul's deadly armor....

--we need to lay aside our own self-defence and pick up love. Unabashed love. Love for the whole world. Love even for our enemies.

Hey God, --it's margaret. I suppose that becomes easier? And does that mean that a sign of the Kingdom is that even Mr. Witty won't pretend to kill squirrels?
Oh, alright.... Amen.

Merry Christmas every body!

How to rescue da bebe Jesus from T-Rex!

2011-12-24T17:14:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas everybody!

G'wan. Go to church!

Merry Christmas!!!!

2011-12-24T10:31:00.000-05:00

This is why Jesus, God incarnate, was born in a manger among the animals --because they set the example for us about God --knowing what we know, feeling what we feel:

I tried to find the medieval hymn that tells of God among the animals first, but I couldn't find it....

Oh well!!!

God with us!
God has moved in to the neighborhood and pitched a tent among us!
God knows what we know. All of it.
The whole creation and the divine are One.
There is no God "out there" --God is with us! --among us!
(so freakin' radical, God is)
Not the cosmos poured in to a human vessel like oil and water --but made One!
God's wish when God spoke the Word in the very beginning,
perfected --the eighth day of Creation,
God's hope and dream for us made manifest....

(Matthew 1:18-25)

Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

"Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall call him Emmanuel,"

which means, "God is with us." When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.

Mary said yes. Joseph said yes.
God is with us!
Amen! Alleluia!

I am so ready

2011-12-23T11:46:00.000-05:00

Met with the real estate guy this morning... taking a hit and bringing the price of the house down by almost 10%... trying to get it to move before we do. And then got a surprise showing this morning, so we had to hide our still unpacked suitcases, pile the dirty clothes in to the car and take off... --forgot to start the dishwasher. Oh well....

And we're going through the house, deciding what things to sell... we're gonna sell some big things that we bought for the big house --our first and probably only grown up house... evah.

But my mind and heart and soul are already in the wide open plains of South Dakota --where pianos and cabinets and all those unnecessary big things were dumped by so many on the their trek west --a wasteland of things which littered the spare but grand shoulders and foreheads of the hills... the eye of God blighted. And the signs of that old life of those who trekked west ruptured under the weight of the sun, broken under the mantle of snow, and piece by piece succumbed to the grass and wind.

It will be so for us. Leaving what we thought we valued, and finding what we truly need. Unmade. Remade.

And I am so ready. So. Ready.

At prayer this morning (Psalm 96)

Sing to the LORD a new song; *
sing to the LORD, all the whole earth.
Sing to the LORD and bless his Name; *
proclaim the good news of his salvation from day to day.
Declare his glory among the nations *
and his wonders among all peoples.

For great is the LORD and greatly to be praised; *
he is more to be feared than all gods.
As for all the gods of the nations, they are but idols; *
but it is the LORD who made the heavens.

Oh, the majesty and magnificence of his presence! *
Oh, the power and the splendor of his sanctuary!
Ascribe to the LORD, you families of the peoples; *
ascribe to the LORD honor and power.
Ascribe to the LORD the honor due his Name; *
bring offerings and come into his courts.
Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness; *
let the whole earth tremble before him.
Tell it out among the nations: "The LORD is King! *
he has made the world so firm that it cannot be moved;
he will judge the peoples with equity."
Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad;
let the sea thunder and all that is in it; *
let the field be joyful and all that is therein.

Then shall all the trees of the wood shout for joy
before the LORD when he comes, *
when he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world with righteousness *
and the peoples with his truth.

The day of judgment is upon us --and that judgment is love. Incarnate love. God's self. Like us. Always love.

And I am so ready! Alleluia!

redeemed from the curse by becoming a curse....

2011-12-22T08:45:00.000-05:00

At morning prayer (Galatians 3:10-14)

For all who rely on the works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who does not observe and obey all the things written in the book of the law."

Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law; for "The one who is righteous will live by faith." But the law does not rest on faith; on the contrary, "Whoever does the works of the law will live by them."

Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us - for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree" - in order that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

Lord have mercy --unpack that!

The law is maintained/obeyed only by threat of curse? --therefor, faith is all the more righteous? --Jesus is a curse for us, an incarnate curse is a new take on things, heh? --and by taking on the curse (of the law?), the promise to Abraham is fulfilled? --and we are redeemed by faith... ??

I mean, wow... .

Striving to live by faith... frankly, is there anything else? We live in a sacramental way --sacraments being the tangible/physical/real of that to which they sign/point --real things which break through/bridge the veil that separates the bodily from all else... in faith.

Enough of curses... which are only announcing aloud that which is already true --pronouncing reality.... The law itself is not a curse; it is a first gift of a way to live. But, we in response to this first gift have drawn the lines and pronounced the curse, announced the threat --this way or die. So there is no way through except to take on the curse --having faith that all shall be redeemed... our own Passover... which has now already been accomplished for us. In faith.

Can't hold on to faith. Can't grasp it. Harder to 'do' than the law... which is immutable for all time.... But faith --a living faith is ever changing.

Which is why He stood at the mouth of the womb of the earth, the ruptured cave of rock, and said, don't hold on to me... stand up...

It is His faith we are called to live --His faith we are called follow --His faith we are called to sign, embody, be living sacraments of... joining him in becoming the living bearers of the curse, to free others from the crucible of curse because we know in faith that we are already free.

Hey God, it's margaret. You have already thrown our sin as far away as east is from west. Why is that so hard to believe? We have only made new curses to outline faith in the sign of the cross --instead of it being a sign of our own Passover. So. Thank you. Give me courage to walk in faith. Amen.

And a Chanukkah Sameakh to our older brothers and sisters in Abraham... --a revolution against assimilation...

Keeping the good people of Cheyenne River in my prayers. We are coming soon!

So much to learn....

2011-12-21T10:27:00.000-05:00

When we left for South Dakota, Mr. Witty stayed at Uncle B's house --"Camp B" !! I think a good time was had by all (and we are so very grateful to Uncle B!) --but all day yesterday my mama's-boy dog slept with one eye open on me, and if I moved, he moved --if I went in to the kitchen, he did too --when I went upstairs, he did too --poor Mr. Witty.... I don't think he understands yet that we are moving to a place where he would be nothing more than lunch for those big birds that fly around up there... I've tried to tell him about alley cats too --but he never paid any attention to me. Guess it will be on me to protect my silly little dog from the eagles and other birds of prey. And the Rez Dogs.... And the wind.... And the snow banks!!!

We have so much to learn.

Like, on Sunday, the hymns were sung in Dakota, because that it the language some of the hymns from the 1940 Hymnal were translated into. But the people I will serve speak Lakota (different dialect), so some of the folks were singing in Lakota although it was written in Dakota....

Thank goodness I knew the music. At least I could hum along!

The familiar undone and remade totally new again. And then some.

On Friday we travelled all day --in the car, going around to most of the churches on the east side of the Reservation. We turned off the highway that cuts through the center of the Reservation (highway --mind you, we passed maybe a dozen other vehicles in a hundred miles), and to my surprise, even though it was marked as major thoroughfare on the map, it was a gravel road. And we went further and further and further and further out on these gravel roads. D, who was with us (Full-of-Grace-D I say in my head), knew who else was out traveling because he knows all the cars. We met the missioner for the Reservation just to the north (Standing Rock) --we shared a meal and were taught how to shake hands Lakota way. Yes. Even that is different --not the broad, present yourself strong shake we are taught. Humility is the key --so a 'shake' is a soft touching of the fingers... or something close to that.

So much to learn....

I remember when we moved to the desert, the desert imagery in the Scriptures took on a whole new meaning. While there just this weekend, the imagery of wilderness, family, tribe and nation had a sudden depth hidden from us....

At morning prayer (Job 42:1-6)

Then Job answered the LORD:

I know that thou can do all things
and that no purpose is beyond thee.
But I have spoken of great things which I have not understood,
things too wonderful for me to know.
I knew of thee then only by report,
but now I see thee with my own eyes.
Therefore I melt away;
I repent in dust and ashes.

Yeah --what Job said. --great things which I have not understood... I repent --I do a 1-80... turn all the way around. But this I do know --this little collect for the Beauty of the Earth needs morphing --it reads:

For the Beauty of the Earth

We give you thanks, most gracious God, for the beauty of earth and sky and sea; for the richness of mountains, plains, and rivers; for the songs of birds and the loveliness of flowers. We praise you for these good gifts, and pray that we may safeguard them for our posterity. Grant that we may continue to grow in our grateful enjoyment of your abundant creation, to the honor and glory of your Name, now and for ever. Amen.

Perhaps it could read: We give you thanks, most gracious God, for the beauty of earth, sky and sea; for the gift of mountains, plains, and rivers; for the vision of the eagle and the power of the wind and snow and sun; for all our Relatives. We praise you for these good gifts, and pray that we may safeguard and honor them with all our life. Grant that we may continue to grow in our gratitude of your abundant creation, to the honor and glory of your Name, now and for ever.

Amen.

Yeppa. Peace out.

A BIG Announcement!!!

2011-12-20T12:31:00.000-05:00

At morning prayer (A Canticle: A Song of Faith) 1 Peter 1:3-4,18-21

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, *
by divine mercy we have a new birth into a living hope;
Through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, *
we have an inheritance that is imperishable in heaven.
The ransom that was paid to free us *
was not paid in silver or gold,
But in the precious blood of Christ, *
the Lamb without spot or stain.
God raised Jesus from the dead and gave him glory *
so that we might have faith and hope in God.

In this house, I pronounce --Advent is over, our waiting is accomplished. We have a new birth, a living hope --an inheritance imperishable --not in silver or gold --by no means... but a holy invitation to join a people in ministry --a new life, a new way...

--in a landscape as fierce as it is holy

--not at all barren nor plain to those who know how to move about in fierce landscapes, who know how to seek and see Their Relatives all around.... Yes, that is one of the images --a winter image of my new parish above... but only one. There are more--especially the faces of the people and the images I carry now in my heart. Later --because right now we are still rejoicing in awe --trembling in anticipation to join those who are already at work in this holy place.

As soon as we are able, we will move, and I will begin the work of Priest for the Episcopal Mission on the Cheyenne River Reservation, South Dakota, home to Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe, bands of Mnicoujou, Siha Sapa, Oohenumpa, and Itazipco peoples. There are six churches and more "stations" in an area approximately the size of Connecticut.

We will live in Eagle Butte, on the Reservation, in the rectory of St. John's --this is the church

--and I will be a circuit rider to the other worship places, sometimes doing up to three or maybe more services on a Sunday --gathering with the people of Emmanuel in White Horse, --Ascension, Blackfoot and St. Peter's Thunder Butte --to give thanks to God and share bread and wine

These are images already published in the Diocesan pages --Later, and with their permission, I will introduce you to the people who welcomed us so warmly and made us feel at home.

I cannot express well enough in words the profound joy I feel. --and yes, there will be challenges. But I heard over and again the people say that they were poor, but not in any of the ways that matter.

With the welcome we received, I believe that --with all my heart. Depending upon what and where you read it, Cheyenne River Reservation is either the third or fourth poorest place (in $$) in the U.S., has limited access to medical care, devastating high school graduation rates, suicide rates through the roof, and bear the burden of our national history... ---so many challenges...

--and they open the doors of the church in Eagle Butte and feed people --bless, baptize and bury people, open the doors in White Horse and give children a warm place to play and receive bags of peanuts and candy...

--and have asked me to be their priest, live in their midst, and share in their ministry.
And I said, Yes.

Whhhoooooohoooooo!!!!

WOPILA!! Pilamaye!!!! Wopila heca ksto!!!!
(Thanks!) (Thank you!) (Thanks, all of you!)

In this house, I pronounce --Advent is over, our waiting is accomplished. We have a new birth, a living hope --an inheritance imperishable --not in silver or gold --by no means... but a holy invitation to join a people in ministry --a new life, a new way!!!!

Monday, Monday

2011-12-19T06:42:00.000-05:00

At morning prayer (Titus 1:15-16)

To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure. Their very minds and consciences are corrupted. They profess to know God, but they deny him by their actions. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.

Bingo. Ain't that the truth. Read that while listening to the corn and soy bean profit forecasts... imagine purposefully NOT planting something to make it more scarce and drive the cost up so that you can then sell your warehouse full...

That's just wrong.

I will be thinking on this as we begin the 15 hour journey back to where our stuff is....

Traveling mercies.

G'wan. Go to church.

2011-12-17T22:44:00.000-05:00

Despite great harm, being thrown out, abandonment --even death...

...she said YES.

So should we all.
G'wan. Go to church. Practice saying yes. Despite the risks.

Image found here.

the far horizon and words in this space are like insects in the grass

2011-12-17T09:23:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, we drove twelve hours around a country with God so present, there was no place to hide.

Seriously. And I was reminded at prayer this morning (Psalm 139:1-17)

LORD, you have searched me out and known me; *
you know my sitting down and my rising up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You trace my journeys and my resting-places *
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Indeed, there is not a word on my lips, *
but you, O LORD, know it altogether.
You press upon me behind and before *
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; *
it is so high that I cannot attain to it.

Where can I go then from your Spirit? *
where can I flee from your presence?
If I climb up to heaven, you are there; *
if I make the grave my bed, you are there also.
If I take the wings of the morning *
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there your hand will lead me *
and your right hand hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will cover me, *
and the light around me turn to night,"
Darkness is not dark to you;
the night is as bright as the day; *
darkness and light to you are both alike.

For you yourself created my inmost parts; *
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I will thank you because I am marvelously made; *
your works are wonderful, and I know it well.
My body was not hidden from you, *
while I was being made in secret
and woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my limbs, yet unfinished in the womb;
all of them were written in your book; *
they were fashioned day by day,
when as yet there was none of them.

How deep I find your thoughts, O God! *
how great is the sum of them!
If I were to count them, they would be more in number than the sand; *
to count them all, my life span would need to be like yours.

Ohhhhh --the collects offered in prayer today are quite good:

Collect of the Day: William Lloyd Garrison and Maria Stewart, Prophetic Witnesses, 1879

God, in whose service alone is perfect freedom: We thank you for your prophets William Lloyd Garrison and Maria Stewart, who testified that we are made not by the color of our skin but by the principle formed in our soul. Fill us, like them, with the hope and determination to break every chain of enslavement, that bondage and ignorance may melt like wax before flames, and we may build that community of justice and love which is founded on Jesus Christ our cornerstone; who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Collect of Ember Day: For All Christians in their vocation

Almighty and everlasting God, by whose Spirit the whole body of your faithful people is governed and sanctified: Receive our supplications and prayers, which we offer before you for all members of your holy Church, that in their vocation and ministry they may truly and devoutly serve you; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

A Prayer of Self-Dedication

Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to you, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly yours, utterly dedicated to you; and then use us, we pray, as you will, and always to your glory and the welfare of your people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

For Mission

Lord Jesus Christ, you stretched out your arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of your saving embrace: So clothe us in your Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; for the honor of your Name. Amen.

Sometimes grace is so overwhelming.

Hey God --it's margaret. --it's love, it's all love. And when the horizon is unimaginably far, and you are so present, words become like a movement in the grass, a small insect... it's still amazing that we are brash enough to think you care. But it is the far horizon and the words like an insect in the grass which become so closely intertwined that only love is possible. Thank you. Alleluia! Amen.

2011-12-16T09:19:00.000-05:00

Dear prayer companions of the Way --embarked yesterday on seventeen hours of travel of which I will not yet speak (but I will soon), and it is only later today that I will reach the destination. My Grandmother is from this place... it shaped and formed her in ways that I am only now beginning to comprehend. I no longer think she was joking when she talked about being from strong stock --being hooked up herself to the plow when the horses couldn't/wouldn't pull any more.

And --oh the stars last night... my long lost friends.

At prayer this morning (a portion of Psalm 40)

I waited patiently upon the LORD; *
he stooped to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the desolate pit, out of the mire and clay; *
he set my feet upon a high cliff and made my footing sure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God...

--the high cliffs where people seek visions of the holy stand guard here...

--and this morning... dawn pink like the sunset... you know what they say about that...

--a hymn my sisters taught me:

Day is a-breaking in my soul. Amen.

In transit

2011-12-15T13:27:00.000-05:00

Collect of the Day: John Horden, Missionary Bishop in Canada, 1893

Creator God, whose hands hold the storehouses of the snow and the gates of the sea, and from whose Word springs forth all that is: We bless your holy Name for the intrepid witness of your missionary John Horden, who followed your call to serve the Cree and Inuit nations of the North. In all the places we travel, may we, like him, proclaim your Good News and draw all into communion with you through your Christ; who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.

Collect of the Day: Robert McDonald, Priest, 1913

God of ice, sea and sky, you called your servant Robert McDonald and made him strong to endure all hardships for the sake of serving you in the Arctic: Send us forth as laborers into your harvest, that by patience in our duties and compassion in our dealings, many may be gathered to your kingdom; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Hmmmmmm..... interesting.

Traveling mercies --

Canticle: The Song of Mary
Magnificat
Luke 1:46-55

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior; *
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed: *
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him *
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm, *
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, *
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things, *
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel, *
for he has remembered his promise of mercy,
The promise he made to our fathers, *
to Abraham and his children for ever.

Amen.

The Patron Saint of All Guilt Trips at the table with John of the Cross

2011-12-14T10:04:00.000-05:00

"Do you want some more coffee," I asked.

"No, thanks," he said.

I turned and spoke to the dog. "See, he doesn't like my coffee. If he liked me and liked my coffee, he would want more. I counted out each ground special, just for him."

He begins to giggle and then laugh, and the coffee remaining in his cup threatened to jump out and run down his shirt. "Hello Mama," he said, --Mama being the name of our Patron Saint of All Guilt Trips. "I suppose you counted and dried each ground for re-use."

"Oh, no," I said. "I only use the fresh grounds for your coffee." Oh, how we laughed! Spilled breakfast....

That shouldn't be funny because we both know it so intimately, but it is --great heel-kicking in the air funny. Our fond offering to the Patron Saint of All Guilt Trips, knowing full well that my own Mama be in heaven looking down chiming in, saying her favorite line --"Don't worry about me. Turn the lights down low. I can see to sew 'til dawn...." And Joel's own Mama, introduced to the joke, would be tickled pink as well --laughing and slapping her knee. Because they both knew and appreciated and offered prayers through the Patron Saint of All Guilt Trips too... B.I.G. prayers.

--or perhaps in this case, an offering through the Patron Saint of All Snark Who Shall Remain Nameless....

We do try to make good offerings --yes we do --right from the soul offerings.

Poor Mr. Witty --he has never understood what to offer, when to genuflect or burn incense --which order of Patron Saints is greater than the other. I try to explain.... What I do know is that he is protestant enough that he never offers his cookies nor his toys!

Poor Mr. Witty.... --and his only hymn sung with the Sirens that pass by the house on occasion, wailing....

However, Mr. Witty says he fully understands.... It's we humans who don't get the dance....

At prayer this morning (Psalm 49)

Hear this, all you peoples;
hearken, all you who dwell in the world, *
you of high degree and low, rich and poor together.
My mouth shall speak of wisdom, *
and my heart shall meditate on understanding.
I will incline my ear to a proverb *
and set forth my riddle upon the harp.

Why should I be afraid in evil days, *
when the wickedness of those at my heels surrounds me,
The wickedness of those who put their trust in their goods, *
and boast of their great riches?
We can never ransom ourselves, *
or deliver to God the price of our life;
For the ransom of our life is so great, *
that we should never have enough to pay it,
In order to live for ever and ever, *
and never see the grave.

For we see that the wise die also;
like the dull and stupid they perish *
and leave their wealth to those who come after them.
Their graves shall be their homes for ever,
their dwelling places from generation to generation, *
though they call the lands after their own names.
Even though honored, they cannot live for ever; *
they are like the beasts that perish.

Such is the way of those who foolishly trust in themselves, *
and the end of those who delight in their own words.
Like a flock of sheep they are destined to die;
Death is their shepherd; *
they go down straightway to the grave.
Their form shall waste away, *
and the land of the dead shall be their home.

But God will ransom my life; *
he will snatch me from the grasp of death.

Do not be envious when some become rich, *
or when the grandeur of their house increases;
For they will carry nothing away at their death, *
nor will their grandeur follow them.
Though they thought highly of themselves while they lived, *
and were praised for their success,
They shall join the company of their forebears, *
who will never see the light again.

Those who are honored, but have no understanding, *
are like the beasts that perish.

Mr. Witty says, 'Nope --beasts understand. Don't insult my type --my order of being with a human condition. Do your hope thing,' he says... 'You are better at hope than understanding.'

I hope --I hope... I hope in this third week of Advent... I hope....

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
Whisper of running streams, and winter lightning.
The wild thyme unseen and the wild strawberry,
The laughter in the garden, echoed ecstasy
Not lost, but requiring, pointing to the agony
Of death and birth.

(From East Coker, T.S. Eliot --From the second of the Quartets.)

Oh dear.... crash bang.

Full circle.

(Shakes my head I do) --Yes, we can and will laugh and kick our heels and make our best offering to the Patron Saints of Guilt and Snark and have all the other guests at the table --like the Patron Saints of Death and Birth --and Hope and Love --and Stillness and Dancing --not binary at all, because at The Feast the Light and the Darkness once again united as it was in the beginning before the naming began, before God even spoke... All One. A spinning stillness. A light dark.

There. My little offering for John of the Cross, and the dark night of the soul.

Amen.

Oh, and hey --I am preparing to wear these while I preach and preside this weekend:

Good to -25 degrees... yeah --that's below zero. Please keep me in your prayers!

The parable of Goldilocks and Three Bears

2011-12-13T10:25:00.000-05:00

At morning prayer (Revelation 3:14-22)

"And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the origin of God's creation:

"I know your works; you are neither cold nor hot. I wish that you were either cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

For you say, 'I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing.' You do not realize that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

Therefore I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire so that you may be rich; and white robes to clothe you and to keep the shame of your nakedness from being seen; and salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see.

I reprove and discipline those whom I love. Be earnest, therefore, and repent. Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to you and eat with you, and you with me. To the one who conquers I will give a place with me on my throne, just as I myself conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne.

Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches."

...you are neither cold nor hot. I wish that you were either cold or hot....

--the dangerous art of the pew-sitter, couch potato, the one who knows but does nothing with the nudges and pushes of the call from God... lukewarm.... Kinda like Goldilocks... we shouldn't want it "just right" because otherwise we will find ourselves unawares in the house of the Three Bears. Huh --there we go again... the Gospel in a parable --the parable of the Three Bears....

Don't be caught unawares --as it said in the gospel in morning prayer --the time will come --don't be caught unaware....

If you are stuck in bed, unable to rise, you can still answer the nudges and pushes --pray --especially for others, write, call folks, share what you have.

If you love your job (or not), and/or you are gainfully employed (or not), create your list of prayers (especially for others) and on that morning break pray them, or pray them over lunch quietly without fuss, or put your prayers on your iPod/Pad and before you do what ever with it, pray them quietly without fuss --write a quick note to someone or ten minutes on that book you want to write, instead of going to the gym stop at the local shelter or food pantry and do what they ask you to do --once a week, once a month --make it a family event, share what you have --serve together.

If you are free to respond. Do it.

And, yes, these words knocked me out of my comfort zone this morning... right up the back side of the head. They are not romantic. They are not 'just right.' They are H.O.T.

Hey God --it's margaret here. You know the matters of the heart. Help us all discern those nudges and pushes and be not lukewarm and Goldilockish in our response. Amen.

Our Lady of Guadalupe --Mother of All

2011-12-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

At morning prayer (the first line of Psalm 41)

Happy are they who consider the poor and needy!

It is Our Lady of Guadalupe today! No wonder the roses were blooming all around town... 'splains everything.

Here is a taste, in English...

--and introduction...

And here's one to ~~dance to~~ process around the block...

or --ya gotta love the angel and her harp!

Blessed be the Mother of All, who intercedes for us, who knows us only as a mother can know us; whose heart was broken with love for love, pierced first by the Spirit in fear and grace; who risked rejection and even death for the sake of incomprehensible life; who toppled thrones and powers and even death with her simple YES. Blessed be the Mother of All.

Canticle: The Song of Mary
Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55)

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior; *
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations shall call me blessed: *
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him *
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm, *
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, *
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things, *
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel, *
for he has remembered his promise of mercy,
The promise he made to our fathers, *
to Abraham and his children for ever.

Amen

G'wan. Go to church.

2011-12-11T09:05:00.000-05:00

Do you know how to live the good news?!

In all seriousness --G'wan, go to church –it is the third Sunday of Advent –
Do you know the name of this Sunday?
In the real olden times –it was called Gaudate Sunday.
In English, that translates to 'Rejoice ye',
or in these parts, Rejoice all y’all! Rejoice!
The church in her wisdom has given us the chance
to light a pink candle, for heaven’s sake
–and the chance to practice joy! Today! All Week!

If we are going to be able to tell the good news to the oppressed,
we must believe the good news with all our heart,
all our mind, all our soul, all our life! –our whole being!
In order to face the headlines of the news reports,
to face the poor—to be poor, to be with those who mourn,
we must already know that the one who is already among us,
is coming again,
and again, and again and again –so many times in our lives!
And we must be ready to tell of that joy to those seeking truth,
seeking faith, seeking the answer,
and tell it again and again and again!

So, live the good news and practice joy this week!
And know that the one who is coming,
Is already among us!
Again. And again. And again!
Amen.

Find your Joy to the Weird here.

the wilderness blooms

2011-12-10T07:46:00.000-05:00

At morning prayer, a Canticle: A Song of the Wilderness (Isaiah 35:1-7,10)

The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad, *
the desert shall rejoice and blossom;
It shall blossom abundantly, *
and rejoice with joy and singing.
They shall see the glory of the Lord, *
the majesty of our God.
Strengthen the weary hands, *
and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to the anxious, "Be strong, do not fear! *
Here is your God, coming with judgment to save you."
Then shall the eyes of the blind be opened, *
and the ears of the deaf be unstopped.
Then shall the lame leap like a deer, *
and the tongue of the speechless sing for joy.
For waters shall break forth in the wilderness *
and streams in the desert;
The burning sand shall become a pool *
and the thirsty ground, springs of water.
The ransomed of God shall return with singing, *
with everlasting joy upon their heads.
Joy and gladness shall be theirs, *
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

If you have never seen the desert bloom, you should --one day. A wilderness of dry sand and brittle rocks turns in to a fragile fragrant carpet --and the thorny dessicated scabbard-like remains of life that pierce the sand and break the rocks, put forth blooms that shame the gaudy domesticated wanna-be's.

The wilderness does that.

Off I go --busy today. Remembering Karl Barth and Thomas Merton in my thanksgivings.

The wilderness. Blooms.
There's hope for ya.

On Hope --Advent Hope --Swiss Cheese Hope

2011-12-09T09:30:00.000-05:00

I have resisted hope.

I have refused to dream dreams or see visions of a better world.

I am no longer sure if all things will work together for good, especially for those that love the Lord.

Oh man... this was speaking right to my center, in the crazy news of the slaughter on Virginia Tech yesterday --and another police shooting on the freeway... on the heels of more local deaths and disasters... all so tragic. In a tragic world overcome with division, greed and sadness.... So, I continued reading:

I resisted. I was a conscientious objector to the notion that God came to the aid of those searching for keys to the car but remained absent in the face of tragedy. To do otherwise, I thought, would be to affirm a God with either a pathologically skewed moral compass or a palliative God fabricated by uncritical minds who believe that all things happen to the glory of God, including the fatal brain tumor of a small child, including the drowning of a teenager in a marshy slough, including the loss of a home, including crippling poverty and hunger.

Slam dunk in my swiss-cheese field of hope. He continues:

I resisted hope because I did not know that for Christians hope is not intended to be some facile disposition of optimistic belief in the future but a self-emptying spiritual practice to develop. And I had no know idea how to develop this practice of hope.

Oh yes... I had almost forgotten. I feel that perhaps I have become superficial in my practice of hope --that in the pain and uproar of my own life, I have only been scratching about on the surface, and have almost forgotten how to turn inside out...

Ultimately, if we aim to continue in the ways of Christ, we must develop the discipline of hope.

But hope is a volatile business and a difficult practice in our world. When we resist hope, we resist the second comings of Christ, the returns of God, toward which Advent calls us. But that is not all. When we resist hope, we also resist being disappointed with God. And we will be disappointed, make no mistake. Our hope in God, if not God, will fail.

To truly develop the practice of hope, we must confront and embrace this disillusionment with God, the failures of God, the long delay of God, the absence of God. Unless we do, we are condemning ourselves to delusional saccharine spirituality, a false hope that will wither in times of anguish, turmoil, and loss. But a hope that also can mourn the loss of hope is a beginning of a deeply centered Christian practice.

And if we can manage to endure and mourn the loss of hope in God and in ourselves, perhaps then we can begin the process, like Abraham and Sarah, of hoping against all hope.

Find it all here. Today, I will practice putting that deep business of hope first --being willing to sit with the disillusionment, the longing, no God that I can grasp and hold --that deep business of pouring out and mourning hope and God so that I may begin to remember to hope against all hope, to move beyond the business of mere hope...

Thank you for that Mr. Henson.

At morning prayer (Revelation 4:11, 5:9-10, 13)

Splendor and honor and kingly power *
are yours by right, O Lord our God,
For you created everything that is, *
and by your will they were created and have their being;
And yours by right, O Lamb that was slain, *
for with your blood you have redeemed for God,
From every family, language, people, and nation, *
a kingdom of priests to serve our God.
And so, to him who sits upon the throne, *
and to Christ the Lamb,
Be worship and praise, dominion and splendor, *
for ever and for evermore.

--O Lamb that was slain... Oh yes, we must cure and temper our hope in Christ's hope...

There we are. Amen.
Showing the house today --off I go.

We have let flowers become a burden

2011-12-08T10:12:00.000-05:00

Flowers as a near overwhelming burden.... Thank you Diego Rivera (and happy birthday to you!)

We lost power last night in the Great Storm that passed through. Lost the power during dinner (which wasn't much --tried to make a fake pesto with spinach --yuck!), so we lit the candles, held and comforted poor Mr. Witty who was terrified at the sound of the wind which was shaking windows, doors and chimney tops trying to find a way in. And we went to bed, still without power. Quite the storm.

It was fun just to sit and talk --no distractions... Joel kept saying, "Poor Abe Lincoln --had to spend every night by candlelight... poor ol' Abe."

Silly Joel.

There are some around town who are still without power.

(That shouldn't be a big deal... Some in the world live without power all the time... I think quietly to myself in prayer. Sigh...)

I have been thinking about solidarity. A lot. Because we celebrate God in human flesh in a few weeks from now... Talk about solidarity --in the flesh --even solidarity in death.

So, solidarity... I have been thinking about solidarity with the Cross. Solidarity with the Resurrection. I mean wow --a priestly people indeed. But where do we usually fall short? --Solidarity with the poor, the outcast, the marginalized, the bullied.... Living one night without power is not solidarity --it is not even a taste... it is only and merely living one night without power. So, is mission work solidarity? --No, it is visiting with hands full of grace and gifts, but it is not solidarity. Solidarity is moving in to the 'hood, and truly living there. As life is lived there.

And, God did not choose solidarity with privilege, wealth, prestige, power.... No, he said this:

(offered at prayer this morning, Matthew 23:13-26)

[Jesus said] "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you lock people out of the kingdom of heaven. For you do not go in yourselves, and when others are going in, you stop them.

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cross sea and land to make a single convert, and you make the new convert twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.

"Woe to you, blind guides, who say, 'Whoever swears by the sanctuary is bound by nothing, but whoever swears by the gold of the sanctuary is bound by the oath.' You blind fools! For which is greater, the gold or the sanctuary that has made the gold sacred? And you say, 'Whoever swears by the altar is bound by nothing, but whoever swears by the gift that is on the altar is bound by the oath.' How blind you are! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred? So whoever swears by the altar, swears by it and by everything on it; and whoever swears by the sanctuary, swears by it and by the one who dwells in it; and whoever swears by heaven, swears by the throne of God and by the one who is seated upon it.

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint, dill, and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. It is these you ought to have practiced without neglecting the others. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel!

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may become clean."

Yowza. Quite a rant... and he's not done there. He goes on for a while --calling them like a grave, clean and pretty on the outside and full of death and rotting bones on the inside. No wonder they wanted to shut him up.

How does one truly, truly, really live in solidarity with the Gospel --especially these 'woe' bits? Or, are they directed at us --all. ? Like a soap box preacher yelling at the street corner... hard to avoid....

Me thinks (and Joel confirms) there is another way to hear these woes, other than the soap box preacher yelling --other than condemnation. It is a lament --the wail of grief from the mouth of God Incarnate --a parent telling their kids to look twice before they cross the street, not to drive drunk or while texting --knowing that some will anyway.... It is the ken of paradise alongside us... and our refusal to step out of our ruts in to solidarity with God.

God is howling at the moon --lamenting --grieving ---aiyyyeeee --o woe, Jerusalem, Jerusalem.... o woe...

We have let flowers become an overwhelming burden... been stingy with the gifts given us... tried to sell them for profit.

Lord have mercy....

Solidarity. In the flesh. God howling at the moon on our behalf.... it's a blessed Advent. Yes. It is.

(Shakes her head in dismay...) Let's just get on with it already

2011-12-07T09:47:00.000-05:00

Remembering the anniversary of Pearl Harbor in my prayers --known to me through my mother who spoke of the day with somber dread. She mostly remembered to me the days that followed --the utter fear --and the disappearance of classmates--friends as they were then shipped off to concentration camps, their only crime --being Japanese and living in California.

I am remembering our present day and all those who are automatically suspect --their only crime --'being brown while driving' is the line that keeps ringing in my ears. (And for whatever it's worth, we've seen it played out in front of our eyes --not as an endorsement --O God NO, but look at Cain --run out of presidential contention for his sexual exploitation of women.... Hello?! And Gingrich? How is he better? --with his serial marriages --extramarital affairs, and resignation from Congress because of ethics violations --and he's given a hoopla fest?! He wouldn't be driving if he were brown.... What hypocrisy....)

(Shakes her head in dismay...)

Remembering M & Juan Manuel. And A. The poor and broken of this world.

Remembering what is to come in the months ahead. Praying for awareness, eyes wide open and honest grace-filled discernment.

Remembering the future buyer of this house. Hurry home.

Remembering those at the parish I served.

Remembering how I read Psalm 38 most every day for the nine months I did chemotherapy --lines like

My loins are filled with searing pain; *
there is no health in my body.
I am utterly numb and crushed; *
I wail, because of the groaning of my heart.
O Lord, you know all my desires, *
and my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart is pounding, my strength has failed me, *
and the brightness of my eyes is gone from me.
My friends and companions draw back from my affliction; *
my neighbors stand afar off.

--helped me speak aloud the truth of the social isolation of illness, of the bodily pain and raw truth one knows standing at the edge of death... Psalm 38 taught me grace because it is so unrelenting, never turning the corner to thank or praise God. Psalm 38 is utter despair. So, I read it daily. From the belly of the beast. Thankful for the ancient voice that did not deny nor denigrate my pain. And, as I was able, added my own words of gloria patri....

Remembering my beloved. Having known him for forty years now. How'd that happen?

Remembering.

At prayer this morning (Revelation 22:12-17)

"Behold, I am coming soon," says the Lord,
"and bringing my reward with me, *
to give to everyone according to their deeds.
"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, *
the beginning and the end."
Blessed are those who do God's commandments,
that they may have the right to the tree of life, *
and may enter the city through the gates.
"I, Jesus, have sent my angel to you, *
with this testimony for all the churches.
"I am the root and the offspring of David, *
I am the bright morning star."
"Come!" say the Spirit and the Bride; *
"Come!" let each hearer reply!
Come forward, you who are thirsty, *
let those who desire take the water of life as a gift.

Hey God, it's margaret. I'm holding you to your word --that part, you know --behold, I am coming soon bit, because these readings of doom and end times for morning prayer are likely to drive me quite nuts. I am ready to dance. O. So. Ready. To. Dance. So, getting ready. To. Dance. Amen.

PS --I was going to the jail today, to feed and be fed, to make thanksgiving from the pit, but got a call --the multi-purpose room where I pray with the women (the men have a chapel, the women don't) has been re-booked so that the architects and planners can meet with staff regarding the plan for the new jail... I said I would be glad to meet with them too... but my offer was graciously declined. So, I am remembering the women of the jail today. And all the architects of their imprisonment. Amen.

(Shakes her head in dismay...) Let's just get on with it already. Oh. Wait. It's Advent.... Dang.

we can only pray that our brokenness will become like...

2011-12-06T11:30:00.000-05:00

Occupy Richmond is still camped out in the front yard (it's a big front yard) of the publisher, Raymond H. Boone, of Richmond's historic black newspaper, the Richmond Free Press. (Go to p6A) The mayor, Dwight C. Jones, is up in arms --with round the clock police protection, stirring up the neighbors to press charges of unlawful use etc... which has brought attention to the chief of police, Bryan T. Norwood --and discussion of whether he has overstepped his bounds and is abusing his authority.... The mayor of Richmond is black; the publisher Boone is black; Chief Norwood is black....

A city --a community at odds with itself. Word is that all Occupy movements in Virginia will converge on the Capitol this weekend... Wonder how that will dovetail with the filming of Lincoln which is making a mish-mash of downtown right now.... The background noise to all that is the deal struck to make the film happen here --taxes forgiven and all that kind of thing.

--just the very kind of capital privilege at the Capitol that OWS-Virginia is all about.

And, hey there was this news about an Episcopal Bishop --retired Bishop of the Armed Forces and is facilitating conversation between Trinity Wall Street and the Occupy Wall Street groups:

[Retired Armed Forces Episcopal Bishop and former US Marine officer] Packer’s first contact with OWS was periodically providing jugs of water from Costco for protesters. Late one night, he was wearing his clerical collar and dropping off water for the kitchen “working group” at Zuccotti Park when a police officer detained and nearly arrested him. In that moment, he said, “I was converted from a casual observer to a committed supporter of this movement. I think these young people are onto something. I think there is an anger in all of this for justice, that aches for some justice.”

“Something clicked in me” that night, he said. “These kids aren’t being heard. … This is no unemployed bunch of deadbeats. These are folks who are focused about the lack of fairness and equity and the ache for justice.”

Packer subsequently became involved with the movement’s direct action working group and began fostering negotiations between protesters and Trinity about the Duarte Square property. He also agreed to speak at the Dec. 3 event, scheduled as an Advent service.

--a Church at odds with itself... and perhaps with the Gospel itself... in so many ways. I mean, we pray today:

Collect of the Day: Nicholas, Bishop of Myra, c. 342

Almighty God, in your love you gave your servant Nicholas of Myra a perpetual name for deeds of kindness both on land and sea: Grant, we pray, that your Church may never cease to work for the happiness of children, the safety of sailors, the relief of the poor, and the help of those tossed by tempests of doubt or grief; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

--emphasis mine... --and yes, that would be St. Nick. Good. Ol. Saint. Nick. Your list of things the church ought do may be different (I think mine would be cultivating Joy in children instead of happiness...) --but it's a fine place to start. As fine as any --especially the relief of the poor and the help of those tossed about.

I feel like riding the back of Trinity Wall Street --begging them to do more (yes, they have been some help) to the Occupiers of Wall Street. It is almost too bad that more light has not been focused on the church --it's good and poor moves, with the OWS movement. Perhaps it is just one bishop at a time... one soul at a time....

Oh God... I ache... with the Gospel...
--and the words of my friend at lunch yesterday ring in my ears --No one's motives are ever pure; and then I said to myself, we can only pray that our brokenness will become like the strength of broken bread... or wine poured out....

Okay. I've said my prayers --time to get to work.
Peace out.

Gold rush and the Sadducees romp

2011-12-05T10:22:00.000-05:00

At prayer this morning (Matthew 22:23-33)

The same day some Sadducees came to Jesus, saying there is no resurrection; and they asked him a question, saying, "Teacher, Moses said, 'If a man dies childless, his brother shall marry the widow, and raise up children for his brother.' Now there were seven brothers among us; the first married, and died childless, leaving the widow to his brother. The second did the same, so also the third, down to the seventh. Last of all, the woman herself died. In the resurrection, then, whose wife of the seven will she be? For all of them had married her."

Jesus answered them, "You are wrong, because you know neither the scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is God not of the dead, but of the living."

And when the crowd heard it, they were astounded at his teaching.

I know it's a funny thing to remember... but it does work.... Today is the anniversary of the day President Polk triggered the Gold Rush to California... by announcing (in 1848) gold had been found in a stream bed in northern California... by the spring of 1849 tens of thousands of men from all over the world rushed in to dig what they could out of the earth by any means --wreaking havoc.

My own people were among that rush. One returned for his wife and family, dragged them west to California from Wisconsin where they had settled for mining after several decades in Brazil and other places around the globe... a child died from snake bite on the way west... They settled in a deep valley high in the mountains. She made money cooking food for the miners --probably made more money than her miner husband. She was one of three or four women in the mountains --among thousands of men.... Including her brother and his family...

She died, suddenly, as did her brother.... So, her husband (my father's father's father's father) married his dead wife's dead brother's wife --blended the family --ten kids or something... in a small cabin on a south-facing slope in a ravine in the Sierra Nevada --near what became Quincy, California.

Yeah --so, who was married to whom in the resurrection? Whose children were they?

Knowing that marriage had as much to do with possession and possessions --consolidation of wealth, family covenants, heirs and bloodlines and all the like --this morning I am hearing a new thing in the words of Jesus --not about marriage or resurrection... --but that we are indeed the Lord's possession --like the angels --we don't belong to one another....

In all things, in all ways, at all times our life does not belong to husbands, wives, children, the government, or any other power....

We belong to the Lord of the living. The Lord of life.
And in that --we are free. An exodus from the slavery of must do, should do, conformity, expectations--- At liberty from all that the world calls sin... and death.

So, how shall we live?

I have major life decisions ahead in the next few weeks --responding to 'how shall we live' --all of it good. And in so many ways, the responses are so very clear... I ask for your prayers.

My prayers exult with love for MP,A,AP,B,J,K,B,J,M,K,R,S,J,D --for those alive in the Lord K,J,A,S,B,A,R --for the women in the jail....

--how shall we live?

Amen.

G'wan. Go to church.

2011-12-03T20:01:00.000-05:00

From 2 Peter 3, to be read this Lord's Day:

--the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, and the elements will be dissolved with fire, and the earth and everything that is done on it will be disclosed.

Since all these things are to be dissolved in this way, what sort of persons ought you to be in leading lives of holiness and godliness, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set ablaze and dissolved, and the elements will melt with fire?

Oh.... I can think of all sorts of person I ought to be....

G'wan. Go to church. And remember that God kinda thought he oughta check out this person stuff... and he chose poor, born among the animals, marginalized, homeless and took on religion and politics and power without any of the above... --and ain't that amazing!?

That's an awful lotta oughta... Time to get ready!
Oh, and it's John the Baptizer's Sunday -whooohooo!!!

--there are things worse than running from a lion and meeting a bear --and being the walking dead is high among them

2011-12-03T10:03:00.000-05:00

I couldn't decide which part --I kept wandering around in the words saying to myself, this part, no this part, no this part... and decided to post the whole thing:

At prayer this morning (Amos 5:18-27)

Alas for you who desire the day of the Lord!
Why do you want the day of the Lord?
It is darkness, not light;
as if someone fled from a lion,
and was met by a bear;
or went into the house and rested a hand against the wall,
and was bitten by a snake.
Is not the day of the Lord darkness, not light,
and gloom with no brightness in it?

I hate, I despise your festivals,
and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.
Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them;
and the offerings of well-being of your fatted animals
I will not look upon.
Take away from me the noise of your songs;
I will not listen to the melody of your harps.
But let justice roll down like waters,
and righteousness like an everflowing stream.

Did you bring to me sacrifices and offerings the forty years in the wilderness, O house of Israel? You shall take up Sakkuth your king, and Kaiwan your star-god, your images, which you made for yourselves; therefore I will take you into exile beyond Damascus, says the Lord, whose name is the God of hosts.

The Day of the Lord is utterly and completely horrific --like running from a lion and meeting a bear. Even our best worship and offerings are nothing but trash if there is not justice. We make our offerings while in trouble --and then lust after the old idols anyway, fall back in to the same ol' habits....

The prophet Amos.... Animal herder. 'Fig' farmer --in other words, got along any way he could, in season. Didn't go to prophet school. He didn't speak what the people wanted to hear. In a time of prosperity, wealth and peace... and the rich got richer and the poor got poorer... the legal system could be bought, so there was no justice... religion was an external posture and act, elaborate....

--an outsider. He denied the 'title' of prophet.

We kill prophets/truth-tellers like that. Whistle blowers. Kill 'em in so many ways....

We would rather have them die than change our ways. --Not realizing that not grappling with changing our ways will lead us to the wilderness any way --if not to our destruction.

Advent. Hopeful. Waiting. Active. Listening. Preparation. Time to pay attention to the nudges as well as the blatant trumpets of the whistle blowers.

Choose your passion.

I pray for MP and his family; for AP still in the hospital and B who is taking care of AP; for those without shelter and adequate food; for the kids in the inner city schools in Richmond; for those who travel; for whistle blowers and the prophets in our midst; for those caught up in the pursuit of nothingness or worse; for the rich --there are things worse than running from a lion and meeting a bear --and being the walking dead is high among them, because they don't even know to run....

Amen.

Hollywood and mission in the first week of Advent

2011-12-02T08:40:00.000-05:00

Downtown Richmond, Virginia is gridlocked all this week. Spielberg is here filming for his upcoming movie, Lincoln, due to be released in late 2012. The hub bub of this Hollywood presence even makes the evening news….

And today is the day to remember Channing Moore Williams, born in Richmond Virginia in 1829, ordained a deacon in 1855, and left Virginia as a missionary to China and Japan in the midst of the growing fever pitch that finally culminated in the American Civil War. It is an interesting thought to ponder --that while this nation was wracked in increasing political gridlock and friction and the threat to the Union regarding the boundaries of States' rights and equality-liberty-and-justice for all, Williams chose to look beyond the horizons of his nativity and set his sight on Asia.

Hollywood and missionary zeal come full circle in the first week of Advent.

Some claim that the 19th Century missionary efforts of the Episcopal Church (and other churches as well) are part and parcel of the expansionist and imperialistic policies of the secular state. Others might claim that Williams is a wonderful and godly embodiment of The Great Commission given to all Christians --carrying the Good News to the furthest ends of the earth.

How and for what reasons do we carry the Good News of God in Christ? This juxtaposition of mission impetus highlights certain elements of the readings today. The prophet, Amos, laments and admonishes, saying,

Therefore because you trample on the poor and take from them levies of grain, you have built houses of hewn stone, but you shall not live in them; you have planted pleasant vineyards, but you shall not drink their wine. For I know how many are your transgressions, and how great are your sins- you who afflict the righteous, who take a bribe, and push aside the needy in the gate. Therefore the prudent will keep silent in such a time; for it is an evil time. Seek good and not evil, that you may live. (Amos 5:11-14)

And-- Jude writes, Now I desire to remind you, though you are fully informed, that the Lord, who once for all saved a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe. And the angels who did not keep their own position, but left their proper dwelling, he has kept in eternal chains in deepest darkness for the judgment of the great Day. (Jude 5-6)

And-- Jesus tells us the story of the wedding feast, those invited walking away, ignoring or too busy to respond, so the king sends out the invitation to the streets of the realms, to the good and bad alike, and the wedding hall is filled --but one guy didn't wear a party suit, and the king said, "Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding robe?" And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, "Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." For many are called, but few are chosen.' (Matthew 22:12-14)

There is an unmistakable thread of condemnation --beyond judgement, I'm hearing outright condemnation for those who don't care for the poor, who hear and know and don't respond to the call of God --to be ready, prepared for the unexpected invitation and feast. There are several possible responses a Christian might make to these calls to care, to respond, to prepare. Included among them are penance --participating in the Way of the Cross and engaging in bearing the sins of the world. Another way is to actively prepare in hope --prepare for the unexpected inbreaking and revelation of what awaits us all on the other side of judgement.

It is Advent --a time of active preparation and hope. With Channing Moore Williams in mind, it is the perfect time to lift our eyes from our local context, pressures, and conflicts --time to look beyond the horizons of our own nativity to the nativity announced in the skyline of the star --following its light, leaving our habitations and comfort zones, and do all those things necessary to prepare for the great Kingdom feast --not in fear of judgment (there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God which we have in Christ Jesus), but in hope and for the joy that is in us.

I was asked to write this morning's reflection for Speaking to the Soul, the morning prayer blog at the Episcopal Cafe.

Advent -hopeful waiting is not passive, like waiting for a bus or something...

2011-12-01T08:50:00.000-05:00

A Collect for Guidance

Heavenly Father, in you we live and move and have our being: We humbly pray you so to guide and govern us by your Holy Spirit, that in all the cares and occupations of our life we may not forget you, but may remember that we are ever walking in your sight; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

I keep hearing references to Advent in terms of hopeful waiting.... And, I agree that it is. Hopeful and Waiting.

This morning, in reflection, I am coming to terms with the reckoning that hopeful waiting is NOT a passive activity. Advent is not like waiting for a bus --not like waiting in line...

Hopeful waiting is like trying to sell a house in this market --First, there is all the work that must be done that one chooses to live with but must be done to sell the house... like fixing the gate, painting the ceiling --you know.... --Second is getting rid of the stuff you really don't need, and packing all the stuff that doesn't need to be around.... --Third is the really really hard core deep cleaning and touch up painting that must be done --and done again and every time the phone rings --the drips on the stove, the refrigerator vent at the front base, the constant finger prints on the glass of the storm door, the leaves off the porch.... --Fourth is continuing to pack... like, now it's the summer clothes....

Active waiting for the one for whom you've prayed, who will arrive at an unexpected time --and for whom one must be ready at any moment... Very. Active. Waiting.

So very Not Passive.

At prayer this morning (2 Peter 3:11-13)

Since all these things are to be dissolved in this way, what sort of persons ought you to be in leading lives of holiness and godliness, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set ablaze and dissolved, and the elements will melt with fire? But, in accordance with his promise, we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness is at home.

--waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God when all shall be changed, all made new, --righteousness is at home....

--this is so very different from penance --which is more of staking a claim of/with --solidarity with the Way of the Cross... taking on the sin....

Today, I actively pray for MP and his family; for AP in the hospital; for those in CA blasted from high winds; for those I love and miss --especially at the parish I formerly served, our right relationships ruptured, ripped, severed; for Joel my beloved --from whom I have learned more about incarnational godly love than any other; for those who suffer from a lack of consciousness and cause others to suffer accordingly; for M,K,S,P,R,S,A,L and C...

For Nicholas Ferrar and Charles de Foucauld whom we remember in the church calendar....

We have another showing today --I actively pray for the Buyer of this ol' house.

Amen.

Quick Wednesday prayers

2011-11-30T07:41:00.000-05:00

At prayer this morning (Isaiah 55:1-3)

Ho, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you that have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen carefully to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; listen, so that you may live.

Dang, that's beautiful. I think I will sing it --put it to the tunes running through my head --Advent hymns I happened upon while in church this past Sunday --delighting to see them, like old friends.

I've been singing... relentlessly, to the tune of 'Come thou long expected Jesus' any ol' thing that comes to mind --but most specifically:

Come thou long expected buyer,
This ol' house from us relieve.
Come this week, this very hour,
you will love it, I believe.

Well --we have two showings, one today, and one tomorrow. I gotta get a move on.

Please pray for my friend, AP, who cracked his head open on a tree; I will pick him up from the hospital some time today. And, do pray for the buyer of this house --that this home will bring them peace and joy. It is a good ol' house.

Peace out.

mad magical Jesus killing a tree

2011-11-29T10:43:00.000-05:00

At prayer this morning (Matthew 21:12-22)

Then Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who were selling and buying in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. He said to them, "It is written,

'My house shall be called a house of prayer';
but you are making it a den of robbers."

The blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he cured them. But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the amazing things that he did, and heard the children crying out in the temple, "Hosanna to the Son of David," they became angry and said to him, "Do you hear what these are saying?" Jesus said to them, "Yes; have you never read,

'Out of the mouths of infants and nursing babies
you have prepared praise for yourself'?"

He left them, went out of the city to Bethany, and spent the night there.

In the morning, when he returned to the city, he was hungry. And seeing a fig tree by the side of the road, he went to it and found nothing at all on it but leaves. Then he said to it, "May no fruit ever come from you again!" And the fig tree withered at once.

When the disciples saw it, they were amazed, saying, "How did the fig tree wither at once?"

Jesus answered them, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only will you do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' it will be done. Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive."

I have always had trouble with the 'withering of the fig tree' stories.... It just seems mean-spirited. Killing a tree....

So, I cannot read the story literally. I read it like this: Jesus is hungry in the same way that I am hungry --wanting truth and revelation --and worship and integrity --and justice and peace --and wanting it lived from and in and with and by the people entrusted with the power --the emblems of the institution --the power brokers, the priests and theologians and keepers of the Temple.

--and when Truth, Revelation, Worship, Integrity, Justice and Peace walks in among the power brokers of the Temple and the children sing to the glory of God and the power brokers become angry --the tree has no fruit, will bear no fruit... it is already withered of life... sucked dry. Already.

This story comes from a deep recess of Christian triumphalism... but it is also a story of us. Now. The Presiding Bishop delivered a sermon to the church in Missouri gathered at their convention this past week that I have been pondering. ++She used Occupy Wall Street imagery.... I keep returning to this:

We are experiencing a slow-motion version of being occupiers ousted from their camps. You’ve heard the familiar lament about buildings being albatrosses. At this convention you’re dealing with the challenge of affording health insurance for everyone who works for pay in the church. As long as we understand our primary mission as preserving buildings, maybe we ought to welcome being tossed out. The shelters in which we gather to worship are meant to be aid stations, like those tents here in Kiener Plaza. We come together here to be fed for service in the world, to share a meal and be healed and remember the great dream of God, and then go out into the city or the countryside and do the same for others. And all across this Church we’re beginning to learn new ways of gathering and of serving.

How many of you have met somebody who’s been camping in the Plaza or talked with a young adult about his or her hopes for the future? The society around us is hungry for good news, they’re hungry for healing, and they’re hungry for a nutritious community meal. How is The Episcopal Church in Missouri going to renew our covenant to proclaim and be the kind of good news that responds to those hungers?

Yes. If we value buildings and insurance over the gospel, we are already not bearing fruit, nor will we ever bear fruit for the hungry --we are already dry as a bone... withered up.

Just like the fig tree. Jesus just speaks the truth.

The story is not about mad magical Jesus killing a tree...

The story is about us.... I love the secondary thought running through my head --that we tried once before to hide ourselves behind fig leaves.... That didn't work real well either....

It's Advent. How's your garden? The tree? The tree of life? --the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? --the fig tree... ?? Your willingness to live the gospel no matter the risks? What are you waiting for?

Peace out.
Image found here.

I'm not going to celebrate Christmas any more....

2011-11-28T11:04:00.000-05:00

Well --slaved away directly after the Thanksgiving feast in order to show the house twice this weekend --scrubbing the kitchen floor, cleaning the stove from all the Thanksgiving drips and drops, washing stuff, rearranging the furniture to 'stage' the house... again... We came home after the showing on Sunday, and our neighbors reported to us --it was a dad wanting to buy a house for the son --wouldn't that be nice. We all agreed, that would be nice indeed....

We get automatic feedback forms from the real estate agents answering questions about the house --fair price, maintenance of interior and exterior etc... Most responses state the house is in good shape, shows well, is priced fairly. Yesterday's response from the agent showing the house to dad and son was really sour. Stated the house was less than average, and the price didn't reflect that it didn't have a garage or off street parking.

Less than average? --whatever. She shows a little wear (but no fraying) --at near 100 years old. So be it. I think she's a grand ol' dame, but there we are.

The price didn't reflect no off street parking? Dang --the agent knew both the price and that we did not have off street parking before she scheduled the showing... Besides, we are priced $70,000 less than other houses have sold for on this street, some with garages.... And all these houses share just three floor plans --they are basically all the same --1919 track housing in what used to be the suburbs of Richmond, VA.

That this feedback happened as an isolated incident doesn't make it sting any less. I think it had more to do with the people who were looking at it than anything else.... wouldn't it be nice... buy a house for someone else....

Which brings me full circle to contemplating Advent and Black Friday weekend. Thems that love it and thems that don't --the shopping frenzy, that is.

Sigh.

And the mud slinging has already begun --those that hate the rampant consumerism and all that makes that successful, and those who love it and support it. And the derision from both camps.

Nicholas Knisely at the Episcopal Cafe posted this:

If you follow Anglican and Episcopalian blogs right now, or you have clergy Facebook friends, you're probably seeing calls for a simpler Christmas. The Advent Conspiracy is leading the charge asking people to refrain from buying too much as way of keeping Christmas. The secular media is picking up on the idea too; someone from a TV station called me last night looking for a quote decrying the latest Black Friday mayhem.

But, Diana Butler Bass points out that the luxury of conscious minimalism is really an upper class problem. Some of the people in line on Black Friday are there because they can't afford to buy what they need at full price, and these teaser sales are incredibly helpful to them. She asks us to look at just who it is standing in line on Black Friday. It's not the wealthy or the well off. It's the working class and the poor. The same people who tend to attend Church week in and week out.

The Advent Conspiracy says, Before you think we’re getting all Scrooge on you, let us explain what we mean. We like gifts. Our kids really like gifts. But consider this: America spends an average of $450 billion a year every Christmas. How often have you spent money on Christmas presents for no other reason than obligation? How many times have you received a gift out of that same obligation? Thanks, but no thanks, right? We’re asking people to consider buying ONE LESS GIFT this Christmas. Just one. And, if you still feel obliged, how about buying a gift of fresh water or sustainable agriculture for some one in true need....

And, Diana Butler Bass says, This Black Friday, I expect that some religion commentators will write their yearly screed on the immorality of consumerism decrying the shopping frenzy gripping the nation on the day after Thanksgiving. But I am not going to join that chorus. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t love consumerism or the outburst of materialism that accompanies American Christmas celebrations. It is, however, tediously easy for people who write columns, ministers who preach sermons, or those who are generally comfortable with their jobs or finances to look down on the rushing mobs grabbing electronics from Wal-Mart shelves.

Hmmmm.... Please, have no doubts. I, too, love a good party, and I'm willing to save and spend for a party. We do exchange nice gifts. But rarely do so at Christmas. Sometimes necessary gifts. But those are usually mutual decisions, and not truly gifts. But don't do so at Christmas. We buy things for each other that we know we wouldn't buy for ourselves. And we give of ourselves for and to others. More often than not.

But, we both find the Black Friday frenzy offensive... can't help it, we do.

I suppose most people looking in on Joel and I would assume we have the luxury of conscious minimalism and an upper class problem.... We live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. We have nice things. We both have college educations. All that presumed privilege might buy. But it is certainly not from suffering an upper class problem that we object to the consumer frenzy.

We object --wait... perhaps I should say, I object, and then let Joel speak for himself --So, I object to the rampant consumerism. Needing shoes, needing jeans, needing a good sale --fine. I can lead you to places any day of the year and get better quality new stuff for way less than the lead-ons offered on Black Friday. Black Friday is not about poor and middle class people needing and buying things. Black Friday is/has become a holiday in and of itself that has been around for several decades now, and the sole purpose is to buy, buy, buy. A consumer holiday. You know, when it comes right down to it, in a capitalist, consumer oriented society, that's fine. Let's name it a national holiday and get on with it. Black Friday is a consumer holiday! Whooohooo!

--But, in truth my major objection is that it, Black Friday, has become synonymous with 'Christmas.' And I don't get, don't understand how consumer frenzy can ever be equated with the Feast of the Incarnation. How can buying jeans or a flat screen tv be related to God becoming human flesh --poor, infant, helpless, homeless, human flesh? I feel as though the meaning of Christmas is stolen away... it's significance raped... and the celebration enslaved to the wealthiest master for the lowest bid possible....

And I object. And I think the Advent Conspiracy and Rethinking Christmas are a lot closer to something --if exchanging gifts in the tradition of the Magi is the way you wish to celebrate the Feast of the Incarnation.

I think that's what I'll start doing --I'll start saying I don't celebrate Christmas any more... and when pressed, I'll say I celebrate the Feast of the Incarnation... and perhaps have the opportunity to say what that means. and if we decide to exchange gifts, we can do so on the 12th day of the Feast --along with the Magi and the Epiphany and all....

Besides, all the really, really good shopping deals happen "after" Christmas.... ow --so jaded....

In the meantime --I will continue to prepare to celebrate that Feast... and look for work, and sell the house, and divest of all those things which hold me back from holy relationships with God and my neighbor....

At prayer this morning (2 Peter 1:1-10)

Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, To those who have received a faith as precious as ours through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ: May grace and peace be yours in abundance in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything needed for life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Thus he has given us, through these things, his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may escape from the corruption that is in the world because of lust, and may become participants of the divine nature.

For this very reason, you must make every effort to support your faith with goodness, and goodness with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with endurance, and endurance with godliness, and godliness with mutual affection, and mutual affection with love. For if these things are yours and are increasing among you, they keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For anyone who lacks these things is nearsighted and blind, and is forgetful of the cleansing of past sins. Therefore, brothers and sisters, be all the more eager to confirm your call and election, for if you do this, you will never stumble. For in this way, entry into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be richly provided for you.

Goodness. Knowledge. Self control. Endurance. Godliness. Mutual affection. Love. Won't find those in any store. Any where. Any time. Can't be purchased. Must be practiced. Ahhhh--Advent. Making room by practicing....

Peace out.
Jeeez --what a rant.

G'wan. Go to church.

2011-11-26T19:33:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 64:1-9

O that you would tear open the heavens and come down....

Well --there it is. Advent in a nutshell --heavens torn open --God with us.

G'wan go to church. Time to git ready! --and, yeah, your armor of light is always recommended this time of year....

Saturday --last day of the year (church-wise)

2011-11-26T09:16:00.002-05:00

OMG --set aside today to clean for a showing tomorrow --just got a note from our agent asking to show the house in about an hour!!

C'mon St. Joe!!!!

--like fingers pointing straight to the heart of what matters...

2011-11-25T09:40:00.000-05:00

Buuuuurppp.... ahhhhh!

--the preparing of it, the cooking of it, the companionship, the eating of it --Wonderful!!! Thankful!!!

Yeppa. We know how to party!

And now eyes and heart shift, fixed on Advent... --a spiritual hunkering down in the spasm of commercialism and consumer performance pressure that becomes December. We have decided to focus our Advent prayer in fasting --not in penance, NO NO NO --but preparation --just as we did before we ate the grand feast yesterday. You know --save room for what is to come.

And we have a lot of discernment/preparation for the feast-that-is to do, to talk and pray through.....

This morning in the readings --it was all like fingers pointing straight to the heart of what matters-- not the past nor future tense, but in the present moment...

At morning prayer (Isaiah 24.14-23)

They lift up their voices, they sing for joy; they shout from the west over the majesty of the Lord. Therefore in the east give glory to the Lord; in the coastlands of the sea glorify the name of the Lord, the God of Israel. From the ends of the earth we hear songs of praise, of glory to the Righteous One.

But I say, I pine away, I pine away. Woe is me!

For the treacherous deal treacherously, the treacherous deal very treacherously. Terror, and the pit, and the snare are upon you, O inhabitant of the earth!

Whoever flees at the sound of the terror shall fall into the pit; and whoever climbs out of the pit shall be caught in the snare. For the windows of heaven are opened, and the foundations of the earth tremble.

The earth is utterly broken, the earth is torn asunder, the earth is violently shaken. The earth staggers like a drunkard, it sways like a hut; its transgression lies heavy upon it, and it falls, and will not rise again. On that day the Lord will punish the host of heaven in heaven, and on earth the kings of the earth. They will be gathered together like prisoners in a pit; they will be shut up in a prison, and after many days they will be punished. Then the moon will be abashed, and the sun ashamed; for the Lord of hosts will reign on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem, and before his elders he will manifest his glory.

In the midst of the gaiety --the swirl of the celebration and joy, the prophet sees what is... and it ain't pretty --it's broken and doomed... a shabby hut --no running away, no climbing out of the pit... hell even in heaven....

Is there escape from this doom? Is there hope?

No. None that we can create, fabricate, find, deliver... and goodness and righteousness do not parry suffering... look at Jesus-- who will harm you if you are eager to do what is good? But even if you do suffer for doing what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear, and do not be intimidated... (1 Peter 3:13)

I love because I was loved first --but it is not love I generate, but love I share --I am IN love... I have hope --but not my own hope, but the hope of Christ in God... I have faith --but it is not my faith....

There is no "escape" --there is only Christ every where...

--so it is good to step away from the huzz and buzz and huzzah every now and then --not as penance-- fahgeddaboutit --but as the means to stand and be still --not to run, not to try to climb out of the pit --but to be still and clear the eyes and mind to see the Incarnate One present among us....

Thassa what we gonna do. --look at Jesus.

And eat some glorious leftovers, for a few days anyway --just sayin'! --and saving room for what is to come....

Blessed Thanksgiving to all!

2011-11-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

Collect of the Day

Almighty and gracious Father, we give you thanks for the fruits of the earth in their season and for the labors of those who harvest them. Make us, we pray, faithful stewards of your great bounty, for the provision of our necessities and the relief of all who are in need, to the glory of your Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

It's Mr. Witty's favorite day...

From Mr. President Lincoln --but, mind you, despite all the various claims, Sir Francis Drake celebrated the FIRST THANKSGIVING in California in 1579 in his voyage around the world... just sayin'!

Folks in this neck of the woods claim the first Thanksgiving in about 1619 at Berkeley Plantation --as opposed to those in the colonies in the more northern stretches... --there we are.

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften the heart which is habitually insensible to the everwatchful providence of almighty God.

In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and provoke their aggressions, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict; while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised, nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the most high God, who while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that, while offering up the ascriptions justly due to him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation, and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity, and union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United Stated States to be affixed.

~Abraham Lincoln's Thanksgiving Day Proclamation, October 3, 1863

mental maps, foundational metaphors and OWS...

2011-11-23T09:49:00.000-05:00

Matthew 19:23-30 (NRSV)

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly I tell you, it will be hard for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astounded and said, "Then who can be saved?"

But Jesus looked at them and said, "For mortals it is impossible, but for God all things are possible."

Then Peter said in reply, "Look, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?"

Jesus said to them, "Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man is seated on the throne of his glory, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold, and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.

As my beloved and I share coffee, prayer, and conversation this morning --Occupy Wall Street, poverty, our lives, the words of our mouths, meditations of our hearts, our lives and living them –and as I am contemplating the gospel reading, he reads to me “A Clouded View: How Language Shapes Moral Perception” (Kathryn Lilla Cox, Union Seminary Quarterly Review 63 (1-2; 84-96). Joel erupts with certain ahaa! exclamations, saying, “Listen! Listen! This is what I meant!”

And he reads to me

Foundational metaphors can be understood in two ways: (1) metaphors function as a structuring principle for providing an explanation and formation of reality and (2) metaphors can provide images that capture a basic, but influential understanding of those principles. These images are important since they help bridge the gap that sometimes exists between concept and action, thus helping move someone from belief to action. Furthermore, metaphorical images can supply the language to explain changed behavior. Yet we do not yet have new, broadly accepted metaphors for life in the twenty first century, with our attention to environmental concerns and the consequences of our actions on climate change. I offer that these important functions of metaphor might help explain why burgeoning concern about the environment and the recognition that the way we live must change has not resulted in widespread transformative practice or action. A disconnect remains between theory, knowledge, and practice. This partitioning indicates that new conceptual frameworks and knowledge about the earth may require new images and metaphors. If we change or develop our theoretical conceptions without changing accompanying metaphors, then transformed action and change of attitudes may not follow, since the foundation or scaffolding remains unchanged. An expansion of these ideas will proceed in three parts: examining the philosophy of metaphor, the dynamics of scientific presuppositions, and the language framing the discourse of environmental ethics using two case studies.

It's a wonderful article --beginning with a quote from Flannery O'Connor --The black sky was underpinned with long silver streaks that looked like scaffolding and depth on depth behind it were thousands of stars that all seemed to be moving very slowly as if they were about some vast construction work that involved the whole order of the universe and would take all time to complete. No one was paying any attention to the sky.

--paying attention to the sky.... what an interesting quote to begin a discussion about foundations....

We launch in to a discussion of foundational metaphor, cultural scaffolding, building community, norms, history, presuppositions, and the Occupy Wall Street movement. Why not? It is a continued if not continuous discussion in our home at present… and we don’t entirely agree. It is not the OWS movement in general and at large about which we disagree in our discussions –on the contrary, it has given us hope. It is not that there is no formal party line, no obvious leadership, no universal method.... To us, these circumstances are fresh air. What my beloved objects to is that there is not a common foundation. “On what are they basing it all?” he says. “If it is based on morals or ethics –what is the source of these morals and ethics? If it is based in economic theory –what is this theory? I want to know what the thought –the presuppositions --the foundations are based upon.”

I understand. Truly. It is very helpful to be able to place things in an intellectual context, on a mental map, build relationships, have the genome of the movement named –name the parents and grandparents of this Movement. Of this thought turned into action.

For me, the mental map is not necessary. At. All. For me, it is like the so-called proof offered in the Scriptures themselves about Jesus --proof texting of the Hebrew scriptures in order to give Jesus authority. Or, it is like proof texting in our own time --to illustrate, defend, convince.... Such tactics, then and now, have always given me the weebie-jeebies --makes my skin crawl.... I prefer mystery --unknown territory....

Unknown territory is the borderland, the edge, the glory of God. --for God all things are possible. If God wants to do a new thing... all the mental maps, context, proof texting ever created won't help a bit.

--and mental maps without the willingness to journey across them --proof texting without action --are empty broken vessels bereft of function or beauty.... just sayin'.

I don't know if OWS is a new thing --but I do believe it is an attempt at renewal --because the list of what is broken is long and diverse... we all know it, we all know we are broken --and the OWS list is about those things that go to the core of every system --money, things, family....

Jesus rips up the map on these things --all those things that we think form our relationships, our context, our place in society --he smashes the idols of culture... turns over every domestic table... subverts economic presuppositions.

Well... I suppose that's one of my foundational metaphors, anyway.... Call me a willing lover of mystery.

Now, off I go to boil and bubble some cranberries, knead some rolls.... --preparing to give thanks... in a feast.

And I remember the paths of my ancestors, all of whom headed west, ever west --without a map.... --I hope they watched the sky as their foundation changed, moved, disappeared....

Blessed are you O Lord our God, Creator of the universe; you bring forth food from the earth, food to make glad the heart of your people, the heart of your people to be the Body of your Son. Give us grateful hearts for all the mysteries of creation, and in your mercy help us turn our eyes away from the maps we create --to walk away from those possessions that consume us (oh and the folly of thinking we are 'consumers' --how awfully true, but only like the snake that swallowed its own tail --oops, tangent) --and all those other idols we construct, and seek you in the borderlands of our unknowing. Amen.

Tuesday.

2011-11-22T07:04:00.001-05:00

Got a call yesterday while I was buying chard for a chard/rice/mushroom pie (OMG it was good) --gonna show the house early today. So, I am getting up to clean the bathroom and a couple of other details as we hightail it outa here.

We buried St. Joseph in the yard while we prayed our intercessions last night.

And now, in hope, we will go have breakfast out.

At prayer this morning (beginning in Matthew 19)

Then someone came to him [Jesus] and said, "Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?"

And he said to him, "Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments."

--does this imply that Jesus is not interested in us doing or being 'good' per se --as in morality type good? --are the commandments the starting place but not the finish line?

He said to him, "Which ones?"

And Jesus said, "You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; Honor your father and mother; also, You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

The young man said to him, "I have kept all these; what do I still lack?"

Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me."

When the young man heard this word, he went away grieving, for he had many possessions.

Working on that Jesus --working on selling what we have.... working on serving the poor....

Pray for us.

Amen.

A little Mina for Byrd, Merbecke and Tallis, just because

2011-11-21T11:45:00.000-05:00

Boomerang --from freezing cold sleet last week bottabing to warm showery thunderstorms this week... --turn the heat on, turn around, turn the heat off... put the quilt on and sleep with socks on the ol' feet --kick the quilt off, lose the socks....

Yes. It's November.

I love the smokey patterns of the leaves left like shadows on the cement walk and stairs to our front porch. Ghosts. An imprint of what was, once. And leaves clustered like remnant tea in the nooks and crannies of the hedge, the ragged grass, the stair well, steeping out the last bit of summer. Mr. Witty's tail has caught up every bit of the offered color and shape, and dragged it in the house --a new carpet.

The color --I am remembering the cluster of cabins in the Santa Cruz mountains --built by my grand father, great grand father and great great grand father --cabins built of redwood felled and finished on site, originally one room cabins scattered on the sand stone cliff over the San Lorenzo, other cabins and rooms added in each generation, walls one board thick with batten nailed over the joint; chimneys of river stone, grandfathers' initials "A.S.H." set in rock across the top of the chimney and generations giggling at the pun. Cousins all around, too many to count, my family usually the only one to brave the elements at Thanksgiving, cooking on the old green enamel 1920s range --the ice box pan spilled rotten water across the unfinished wood floor as it was emptied in to the small-bath-tub-sized sink --all viewed from the open loft perched a ladder's length above the kitchen.

My sisters were the lucky ones. Their bed was a double bed on wheels that folded vertical to the rafters, the mattress held in place by the iron rods of the head and foot of the bed. During the summer, they wheeled it out and slept under olive green wool army blankets on the open porch under the stars, in the soft summer mountain fog; in the winter, they slept by the huge edifice of rock that was the fireplace --mountains of glowing coals, staying up as late as the adults, kept warm by the secret pipes worked in to the stone fireplace that drew cold air in from the floor, circulated behind the iron plate in the back of the fireplace and shot out hot knee-high --all with no moving parts... just drafts.

Thanksgiving in such a place was a work of art. It took days. And food was kept cool and prepared in the "cabinet" in the kitchen --built like a chimney itself, heavy wire mesh instead of floor, drawing in the cool air from under the house to keep the stored food cool --even in the summer, shelves of narrow boards to allow continued circulation behind the closed doors shut with an iron latch to keep the bright and overwhelming light and heat and smells from the kitchen away from what was or waiting to be....

Sometimes, it is almost bittersweet to remember... But, we need not mourn for what is past and passed --we have a new day before us, a new creation --another chance to remember and live in to our calling --another time to keep our eyes open for the revelation of God's Kingdom among us. A new time of thanksgiving. Always.

--we start our Thanksgiving preparations today. We hope to work some art in to it --cooking a chard and wild rice pie today to keep us fed while we cook all else... family coming.

I think our ancestors had it right --some times we need to party for days and days --sit and chat and cook and chat and eat and sit and chat and eat --and dance... cut the rug. We don't allow ourselves that kind of holy time much....

(At prayer this morning, from 1 Peter 1)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith - being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Although you have not seen him, you love him;
and even though you do not see him now,
you believe in him and rejoice
with an indescribable and glorious joy,
for you are receiving the outcome of your faith,
the salvation of your souls.

Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied of the grace that was to be yours made careful search and inquiry, inquiring about the person or time that the Spirit of Christ within them indicated when it testified in advance to the sufferings destined for Christ and the subsequent glory.

It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in regard to the things that have now been announced to you through those who brought you good news by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven - things into which angels long to look!

And, today at prayer is the day we give thanks for the lives and work of three musicians, Byrd, Merbecke and Tallis. In their honor and to the glory of God --something they might not have ever imagined, just because:

See what I mean?!! a new thanksgiving, unimagined, a joy that transforms all that has passed --I looked to see if our glorious Mina sang any of those three guys --but could find none recorded.

She loves in such a sultry way... gives thanks from the center... her whole being.

I aspire to such this week. Preparing to give thanks from my center, preparing for Advent --to see and know 1in new and unexpected ways.
Amen

G'wan. Go to church.

2011-11-19T22:38:00.000-05:00

'nuf said. Now, get on with it!!! G'wan ...for the least of 'em....

--what does it "mean" to be "used" by God?

2011-11-19T09:50:00.000-05:00

Collect of the Day: Elizabeth, Princess of Hungary, 1231

Almighty God, by your grace your servant Elizabeth of Hungary recognized and honored Jesus in the poor of this world: Grant that we, following her example, may with love and gladness serve those in any need or trouble, in the name and for the sake of Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, for ever and ever. Amen.

As my niece and friend, D, taught me to say --you better be careful what you pray for! LOL! --recognizing and honoring Jesus in the poor of this world --be careful as you pray that! You might get what you pray for!

A Prayer of Self-Dedication

Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to you, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly yours, utterly dedicated to you; and then use us, we pray, as you will, and always to your glory and the welfare of your people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

See what I mean?!

Are any of us ever truly ready and willing to be "used" as God wills, to God's glory and for the welfare of the people?!!! --what does it "mean" to be "used" by God?

More questions than reflections today....

Some days (and today is one of 'em) I dream of being consumed in such a prayer as that. --totally consumed. So that the people of God

--shall build houses and inhabit them;
they shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
They shall not build and another inhabit;
they shall not plant and another eat;
for like the days of a tree shall the days of my people be,
and my chosen shall long enjoy the work of their hands.
They shall not labor in vain,
or bear children for calamity (from Isaiah 65 at morning prayer)

It's cold this morning. I pray for those who are homeless or whose homes are not adequate shelter from the winter. I pray for those who labor but have little or no share in the fruit of their labor. I pray for those who lack adequate access to those things that shall sustain their lives --food, friends and family, health care, education, right relationships.... I pray that the people of our nation shall continue to wake up to the fact that we are not embarked upon a sustainable path --we need to change, for the sake of all the people.

Because we are one.

Just simple prayer today. Tonight I witness the blessing of R & M --and the blessings they share --signs of incarnate love.
Amen.

--searching....

2011-11-18T10:18:00.000-05:00

At morning prayer (beginning Matthew 18:10)

Jesus said, "Take care that you do not despise one of these little ones; for, I tell you, in heaven their angels continually see the face of my Father in heaven. What do you think? If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.

After my journey to Guatemala, discernment regarding my calling kicked in to high gear --in so many ways --after visits to the dump and graveyard and all, discernment regarding economic and ecological justice --tidal waves. What would it mean, I thought, to go among the poorest of the poor, giving up all I had, and be among and with them --be their priest.

Guatemala. I just went back and re-read some of my June 2011 posts I wrote from that place.... That deep stirring from the depth of the empty tomb is stirring again --awakening me. I wrote:

I have been blessed in the past two days to meet two women who are not here to give handouts or dig a well or help folks move away from their lives… they are here to reveal the kingdom in the midst --alongside --already present in and amongst the livelihoods and relationships… they are here to foster transformation --not betterment…..

…and they both do so with determination. courage. against all odds.

You know --there is an obvious order in this world --the big and strong or those intimately connected with big and strong, these prosper. Dogs chase cats. Wolves eat dogs. People hunt wolves. Men hunt women --or other creatures --usually men are the top of the pecking order, unless of course, they exhibit weakness, powerlessness of some sort… and then they are treated as women or children. It's the natural way.

But there is nothing natural about what Jesus said and did. He said the poor have it --the poor, the sick, the infirm, the weak, those who mourn, those who suffer, those who are persecuted… they are already first in line --the sinners too, first in line.

There are those who will never understand the un-natural order Jesus calls us to --totally contrary to the natural order of the world….

…so much for so-called 'natural law theology' ….it's the glorious gospel reversal once again….

We should all act from that unnatural cave --tomb, --womb, --space within us… that broken space…. that on fire or empty place --whatever… you know, that place of which you are most ashamed… that place where we think we hold our secrets… those two women whom I have been privileged to dine with --that is the place from which the move and have their being....

That place is the gate… the eye of the needle…

hmmmmmm…. now it is time to return to gerunds, present and past participles… imperfect, pluperfect… conditional… and all those action items past and present --terms of affirmation and negation…. in this place… where heaven and hell are lovers, and where the woman who slept with a bear loves her children as numerous as the stars… and are so very different from herself --and her husband... In the center of the earth the kingdom is revealed… in this place --I heard it called the second poorest place in the western hemisphere… It is that, and so much more…. amen.

Today, I am pondering the eye of the needle... pondering transformation, not betterment... seeking presence.

The sun is out --it's cold... I'm sitting with my hood up --inside... embracing the cold.

...we'll see... much prayer.
amen.

in what ways did Jesus behave that fulfills his charge to us to be as 'a child' ??

2011-11-17T08:42:00.000-05:00

At prayer this morning (beginning at Matthew 18:1)

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

This one always sticks in my craw... just sayin'. Why? --it's a multi-pronged... the infantilization of the faithful, and at the same time the portrayal of children as unknowing or simple (when every child I have ever met "gets" a lot more than most adults give them credit for)....

I have become more convinced that the humbleness that Jesus is addressing has less to do with intellect, access to knowledge--information and the nuance of such, and more to do with power... The ability to create 'stumbling blocks' --trip somebody up, prevent, bar, lead on or even mislead or otherwise control some one else is far more damning than right or wrong faith --patterns of belief... because children are fairly powerless --and I'm not talking about ways to get something --pitting adult against adult, temper tantrum or other such behavior... I am talking about being subject. You name the rest --subject to authority, decision, circumstance --physical powerlessness as well.

And I'm not thinking about a powerlessness that leads to victimhood. To the contrary--

I'm talking about what mystics might call 'surrender' --in AA it's 'letting go' to your higher power...

--not seeking to be right nor the 'greatest' in the kingdom.

Big questions remain in that --what does that mean in relationship to 'leadership' ???

As far as I can see, Jesus did not exhibit any of the hallmarks of what we might call 'leadership' --taking folks places without the forethought of food or other preparations --responding to questions with riddles or parables --confronting the powers that be --no obvious long term plan of action, goals, mission or vision statements....

Brings the question to my mind --in what ways did Jesus behave that fulfills his charge to us to be as 'a child' ??

Yeppa. Food for thought.

I have a very busy day ahead --I ask for your prayers as I prepare for two phone interviews today, and another in-person interview in the weeks to come. (whoooohoooo!)

--all while I think about power, authority, --and living in to my calling to be child of God.
Amen.

Rum Diary, birthdays, lobsters and coins in the mouths of fish

2011-11-16T10:29:00.000-05:00

We saw The Rum Diary yesterday. We saw it because Johnny Depp was in it --we'll see anything with Johnny Depp, and anything with Meryl Streep --needless to say, loved it. It is wild, gross, frightening, drug-wracked hopeless --and at times a ride on the razor's edge straight on in to depravity. It is also an exasperating expose of brutal capitalism. --loved it.

I am not a true-blue nor outright fan of Hunter S. Thompson --but was required to read his work in high school and college. I have always admired the startling wounds of his words --the clarity with which he rips open the belly of the beast and seems to enjoy the manner in which the entrails spill out --no froth, unless it is like the putrid scum of a sewage treatment facility... But yesterday I came away with another and new appreciation of Thompson...

On of my favorite parts was the near autobiographic character, Kemp, speaking to the lobster... The lobster sez, "Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only living thing that behaves like it hasn't got one." Yeah... so true. Another quote, but I cannot find it verbatim --is as he finds his 'voice' after speaking with the lobster --and he declares that he now sees the connection between the starving, suffering children living in poverty on the dirt streets and garbage dumps of Puerto Rico and the shiny brass medallions on the doors to the banks in NYC....

WHAM!!!! Modern. Postmodern. Desire. Greed. Drugs. Despair. Rape. Hope. Death.

[there were] good mornings, when the sun was hot and the air was quick and promising, when the Real Business seemed right on the verge of happening and I felt that if I went just a little faster I might overtake that bright and fleeting thing that was always just ahead.

Then came noon and morning withered like a lost dream. The sweat was torture and rest of the day was littered with the dead remains of all those things that might have happened, but couldn’t stand the heat. When the sun got hot enough it burned away all the illusions and I saw the place as it was--cheap, sullen, and garish--nothing good was going to happen here.

Sometimes at dusk, when you were trying to relax and not think about the general stagnation, the Garbage God would gather a handful of those choked off morning hopes and dangle them somewhere just out of reach; they would hang in the breeze and make a sound like delicate glass bells, reminding you of something you never quite got hold of, and never would. (Thompson 1998: 190-191)

There is a fascinating article on anthropoetics and The Rum Diary here....

What do any of us do when faced with the circumstances of greed, the deadly pursuit to possess and the pornographic twisting of all that is good...

Matthew 17:22-27 (NRSV)

As they were gathering in Galilee, Jesus said to them, "The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into human hands, and they will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised." And they were greatly distressed.

When they reached Capernaum, the collectors of the temple tax came to Peter and said, "Does your teacher not pay the temple tax?" He said, "Yes, he does."

And when he came home, Jesus spoke of it first, asking, "What do you think, Simon? From whom do kings of the earth take toll or tribute? From their children or from others?"

When Peter said, "From others," Jesus said to him, "Then the children are free. However, so that we do not give offense to them, go to the sea and cast a hook; take the first fish that comes up; and when you open its mouth, you will find a coin; take that and give it to them for you and me."

Tainted with the Rum Diary ringing in my ears and blasting my sight, this gospel exchange, at first, seems just as weird and drug-induced as talking with lobsters about God... but the stark reality that the kings of the earth do not tax themselves or their children, but constantly take from others rises like the stench of the gutter. Can't miss it.... And, as far as pulling a coin from the mouth of a fish --are we called to such a fantastical faith? --first that we could even catch a fish; second that it would have enough to satisfy a toll or tribute in its mouth!

I can't wash it or wax it poetical. --but, there it is: Jesus has connected the poverty of the masses with the medallions on the bank/temple doors.... --and where do we who pay the tolls and tributes ever gain the dimes we are then forced to deliver? --yes, from our toil and labor... --yes, from the random luck of the draw... --yes, from the unexplainable gifts that fall out of the mouths of the fish we are lucky enough to catch.

--and it's not like fish don't have dangerous teeth...

We know the source of our treasure, given in unexpected packages in ways that are not predictable or even rational... always. Just the way it is. --is it any wonder The Fish was a constant icon in early Christian imagery... for so many reasons....

Oh... and hey --I forgot that yesterday was the anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood.... Joel reminded me last night, over a bowl black beans... and we awake today to Joel's birthday --and my namesake day. Yes, he has a doctor's appointment, and I have my women's clergy group that I. Will. Not. Miss... but, we will party. Perhaps for a week!

He always sez that I am the pearl of great value for which he sold all else to purchase... I always respond saying I am not that little bit of grit that forms something so mysterious and valuable that it connects the ocean floor with the ballerina's dance --I am that simple wildflower on the roadside --emphasis on wild... he sez --same difference. I wonder what Hunter Thompson would say to that...

Happy birthday to my beloved --my inspiration --my love, my breath. I am so utterly grateful for our life together, to know you.

I am sure our mamas are sharing a glass of bubbly today... --at the feast... --loving the job of stuffing coins in the mouths of fish... just for fun.

--manna hope...

2011-11-15T10:41:00.000-05:00

heheheheh.... Madonna... I had quite forgotten or didn't know it, but this is as good an interpretation of the Revelation to John as any other:

At prayer this morning (beginning at Revelation 21:1)

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,

"See, the home of God is among mortals.
He will dwell with them as their God;
they will be his peoples,
and God himself will be with them;
he will wipe every tear from their eyes.
Death will be no more;
mourning and crying and pain will be no more,
for the first things have passed away."

--the torment, oppression, abuse, persecution, love lost --the nearby ecstasy, things hoped for... this morning it makes sense as Madonna presents it --in the voice of a woman... which, if the feminist scholars are correct and the whole Johannine school is the voice of women in the early church, this video gives the work of John's Revelation a new voice....

I seek to find expression --to join that voice in a lament at the purging of Occupy Wall Street --a middle of the night move in the name of public health and safety... --to join that voice in outrage at the continued denials of Cain and Sandusky... --to join that voice in disgust at the sight of corrupted power --the whore of Babylon who takes all life-giving potential and seduces it --twists it --the ultimate perversion and pornography... --to join that voice in hope... that as we suffer and weep, God is with us and all shall be well, and all shall be well... a new heaven and a new earth --a new city, a true love for us.

There is a violent hope expressed ... a very violent hope in John's Revelation. A very human hope, that our enemies and those who caused us to suffer will themselves suffer. Terribly. Utter destruction. And the gentle hope that mourning and crying and pain shall be no more.

This morning, I strive to hope for those things unseen --the wild, untamed, unexpected hope --not my own hope, not a restoration and perfection of what I think I know... I will lift my voice in lament, in outrage, in disgust --and hope ---wilderness hope, manna hope --bread showered from heaven don't collect more than you can eat today hope...

bread from heaven hope. yes. the new Jerusalem hope... in my body.

Amen.

--all those things I do not fully comprehend....

2011-11-14T09:46:00.000-05:00

At prayer this morning (Matthew 17:10-14)

As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus ordered them, "Tell no one about the vision until after the Son of Man has been raised from the dead." And the disciples asked him, "Why, then, do the scribes say that Elijah must come first?" He replied, "Elijah is indeed coming and will restore all things; but I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but they did to him whatever they pleased. So also the Son of Man is about to suffer at their hands." Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them about John the Baptist.

Now --that's a strange little bit o' scripture... so many verb tenses --future, present participle (progressive), past --all woven together.... it's hard to follow.

And that bit about Elijah and John the Baptist all related and wrapped up in the Son of Man.

Was this just another bit where the disciples 'understood' -but didn't really get it --that they were mistaken that he was talking to them about himself, not John the Baptist...? --like all the talk about bread, and they never really understood.... I mean, this bit begins with Jesus telling them not to talk about the Revelation on the mountain top....

--and Elijah... he will restore all things....

There is so much, so much in our Christian triumphalism that we forget or never know of the grand mythos and mysteries of our older sisters and brothers of Abraham --the Jews...

The bit about Elijah, for example. Dang --google it and you come up with the weirdest stuff.... Milleniumisms out the ying yang...

Literalism... prophecy... a Very. Dangerous. Mix.

I guess it is a difficult calling to live in to non-definition --mystery.

--back to the morning.... We had an open house yesterday. Because I had been under the weather, it took me two days to catch up on the house keeping and the yard. Got a phone call at one minute after eight this morning --showing the house this afternoon.... Is this a sign?

But, this morning, I am off to a downtown church --a wonderful young couple went to Vermont last week to get married --on their seventh anniversary... Vermont, because Virginia doesn't allow same-sex marriage. And this young couple will stand before their friends and family and confess their love and in their presence and the presence of God, and promise to do all they can to be a living sign of Christ's love in our midst. They have already been tried and tested in so many ways --not the least of which ---because I lost my congregational status this summer, and the Bishop's recent permission to bless same-sex couples is based in a congregational context, the Bishop told me this couldn't happen --and I had to tell the young couple it couldn't happen....

I scrambled... contacting another congregation that had permission to bless....

Through a couple weeks of agony... and we jumped through so many hoops --and we're going to celebrate their marriage and God's blessings they share --pronounce a blessing and commission them to be a sign for us...

I do not know of many couples who would continue to seek the blessing of the church after what they've been put through.... Talk about a living sign.... I do not have permission to preside --I had to give that away as one of the many hoops we jumped through, but hell yeah I'm gonna be present and witness this miracle.

So, off I go. Through all those things I do not fully comprehend. In faith. Keeping this young couple front and center in my prayers of thanksgiving --hoping this wonderful ol' house sells this afternoon --continuing vocational discernment and prayer --loving Joel in his continued courageous healing --astounded at Mr. Witty's devotion to us as he faces what he knows is a confusing time --with all the packing and cleaning and long car rides when we show the house.... Yesterday, we drove to a furniture store and had Joel sit in a recliner for the duration of the open house.... heheheheh --as Mr. Witty sez --more than one way to catch a squirrel....

Blessed be God, creator of the Universe, who brings forth all things from the earth, gives us all we need and more; who shows us the way in prophets, visions and signs by any and every name imaginable; who feeds us with the Very Self of God... always and all ways. Amen.

Penn State at morning prayer

2011-11-12T11:04:00.000-05:00

The whole melt-down at Penn State is in my prayers, most especially for McQueary --the whistle blower caught in the middle of it all. He saw an event and reported it --no, he didn't stop it, he didn't call the police.... That was wrong --very wrong. But those to whom he reported --those in positions of power and responsibility didn't either. The onus was on them. But that's how 'systems' maintain themselves --getting those on the low end of the totem pole to hold and keep the secrets of those in power --because if you don't, you will be kicked to the curb and ruined in as many ways as possible.

And McQueary was a graduate student assistant... he was very, very brave to report it. He risked all. And now lives with threats from those who are upset that he didn't play the party line --damaged reputations, and exposed the dark under-belly of the beast.

For some — including Penn State fans who blame McQueary for costing legendary coach Joe Paterno his job and damaging the football program's reputation — an indefinite administrative leave is not good enough. They want him fired — now. "How is it Mike McQueary, who saw the incident, [is] still employed and JoePa, who never saw anything [is] out of the job?" asked one commenter on Twitter.

--because JoePa was part of the cover up and one of the gatekeepers to the system.

JoePa and the University President will suffer shame from this, for a while and only in some circles --but they will sit happy with their houses and pension funds and security and suffer no further consequences.

McQueary? It's gonna be rough for him. Really. Rough. --either seen as a coward for not acting, or in an unspoken covenant, be seen as one who is not a team player in a business that requires it --and I would put money on it that the sexual abuse of children is part of a larger system of life and soul threatening institutionalized dysfunction....

And the children...? They have a longer haul than the second mile....

There are questions now arising as to why Sandusky "retired" unexpectedly and at the age of 55 --perhaps it had something to do with the police investigation and allegations at the time... --Sandusky retired in 1999.... McQueary reported what he saw in 2002.... Scared, he asked his father to go with him to report it to "JoePa."

That link above is a CNN report and history --and it has a link to the Grand Jury Report. Evidence of a systematic coverup and code of silence. A high school coach had the courage to do what JoePa would not --call the police. Hell yes JoePa and all the rest have lost their jobs. The kids who suffered should be given all fruits of the labor of those involved in the cover up.

Why, you might ask, am I going on and on about this?

Because. Because institutions always seek their own survival --and the church is an institution, and what we have seen played out at Penn State has been played out in the church and every other institution on earth. And what McQueary did --as feeble and as incomplete as it was, was an act of bravery --speaking truth --as best as one is ever able to do in a system in which one sees one's own livelihood threatened with survival.

--not playing the party game is so very costly.

I just keep wondering at the hundreds, if not thousands of football players who walked through the locker room at Penn State for all these decades --what did they really learn at college? How to keep The. Secret? How the 'cover up' game is played?

...sigh....

At morning prayer (beginning at Matthew 16:21)

From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, "God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you." But he turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things."

Jesus suffered and died at the hands of the elders because he spoke the truth to their secrets. He didn't play the game.

--and his judgment was mercy, love, forgiveness.... We are called to share that hope and faith. The wounds he bore from the nails and the sword and the cross become those places where we can stick our fingers and believe --sin itself can and is redeemed --and in the Gospel Way --those gory wounds aren't healed --don't cover up with slick, hard scar tissue --the wounds become open portals to the heart of God.

We who follow him have much work to do in this broken world and all the institutions we build and all the secrets we keep trying to cover up --not by covering up the wounds with scar tissue, but by entering the portals to the heart of God --right through the bloody mess.

It's the only way.

Lord have mercy.

we should have eaten baklava

2011-11-11T10:45:00.000-05:00

This popped up on my google home page. So I watched it. I am not a surfing fan or anything like that --but I remain mesmerized by this video... off the coast of Portugal, an Hawaiian named McNamara rides a 90 foot wave. Beyond that bit of geographic and cultural fiber, it's the size of the wave --how does he survive it crashing down on him? --how does he stay vertical on his board in that mountain of crashing water?

Mesmerized. (By all rights, he just shouldn't have survived... and yet, he did.)

I've watched it at least a dozen times... silly me.

As I watch the video --I am remembering it is Veteran's Day today. I have deeply mixed feelings about this day --wishing to honor those willing to give their lives, and at the same time despising the military machine, the wars, that grind up lives and spew them out like waste. My feelings are heightened by these recent disgusting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan... and the lack of care that is given to the returning veterans... and the 'epidemic' of bad care or non-existent care, homelessness... and the 'epidemic' of suicides of returning veterans... an average of 18 veterans kill themselves on a daily basis.

The latest attack on the VA came two weeks ago from the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco, which ordered a major overhaul of the agency. The court said that with an average of 18 veterans killing themselves each day, “the VA’s unchecked incompetence has gone on long enough; no more veterans should be compelled to agonize or perish while the government fails to perform its obligations.”

Yeah. I agree. We have obligations to our veterans, and if we are not willing to keep those obligations in the very best way and to the highest degree, we should not make war. End of story.

That is my most realistic prayer I can conjure, because, honestly, I do not think we should make war at all.... just sayin'.

And, we remember St. Martin today --who like St. Francis of Assisi returned from war convinced of peace and determined to follow the Prince of Peace. Martin was not a fan of church politics either --the conniving deals and betrayals... this biographer states that as a bishop, Martin avoided assemblies of bishops as a result of such conniving.

--ahhhhhh, the Church. At prayer this morning (Matthew 16:19)

--whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

I wonder if such a bishop as Martin could survive in the church today, convinced of peace, willing to risk his life for the sake of the Gospel, willing to defend heretics for the sake of mercy --willing to stand in the crevice between church and state, law and mercy --are there such bishops today, or has it always been difficult if not damned near impossible.... ?

--what are we binding, approving, condoning... .

sigh.... back to the wave. Sometimes it is possible to do the impossible.

And hey --I had the privilege of lunching with dear sister Elizabeth yesterday. There were no earthquakes --but Richmond will never be the same! --we solved all the problems of the church and the world --our hope in the coming generations of Christians to face the challenges of reinventing the church in the years to come --we rode the wave --set loose joy on earth as in heaven...

--and we should have eaten baklava. We just shoulda.

Amen.

Today, just west of the seats of power....

2011-11-10T09:48:00.000-05:00

At morning prayer (a portion of Psalm 27)

Therefore I will offer in his dwelling
an oblation with sounds of great gladness; *
I will sing and make music to the LORD.
Hearken to my voice, O LORD, when I call; *
have mercy on me and answer me.
You speak in my heart and say, "Seek my face." *
Your face, LORD, will I seek.

As per usual --my time in jail yesterday was humbling and awesome. I finally found the main entrance to the women's side of the jail --hidden away off a different road. The entrance is open glass as opposed to the fortress of the men's side. There was no one at the "main" desk which sits open in the middle of the room instead of behind bullet proof glass, and I buzzed my own way in. I was not patted down. My BCP was briefly opened and my alb briefly looked at... I was given directions to the room and found my own way there instead of being escorted there... watched, but not escorted.

Of course, the minute I entered the jail, there were iron benches with women ankle-cuffed to the benches --waiting --for transport, processing, release... I don't know... but to see people, chained....

I greeted each woman as she entered the room --shook her hand. Introductions all around. We began with a song of praise, eyes closed, faces to heaven --with the voices bursting all the barriers --permeating the cement block walls in to all the rooms of the jail. I am always surprised and happy at the parts of spontaneous participation. I asked for their participation in responding to each reading --What did you hear? --and the Spirit moving us all....

In response to the gospel of the Ten Virgins --some running out of oil and missing the party, some not, we sang:

During the Eucharist, all joined in the prayer --spontaneously. And, I would usually do this before the Eucharist at the prayers of the people --but after the sharing of the bread and before the final prayer of thanks, I asked if there were anyone desiring healing prayers, please come forward for the laying on of hands.... Forty-five women lined up --whispered their petitions. I made the sign of the cross on their foreheads, held their heads in my hands... and prayed my guts out. Families. Violence. Love. Daughters. Sons. Sickness. AIDS. Addiction. Death. Court date.

Ended our worship with a song of praise.... I don't even remember --something about praising God in good times and bad, no matter what...

I was drained --exhausted --God willing, well used.

I had to sit in my car for a few before leaving....

Today, I will go a few blocks west of the jail, just west of the seats of power and legislation, and pray the Eucharist with a group as broken and as healed -conforming to a different set of chains and rules and power, who seek God and wish to be fed as desperately... boomerang.

Hey God, it's margaret here. Hear our prayer. Give us courage and strength --to do all those good things you have given us to do. Open our eyes to see you along the way. Help us help one another to know your love. All ways. Always. Amen.

I added the words of Mark Harris in my sidebar. Really good words. I was filled with reassurance and hope as I read them --not that I didn't know it already, but they were the very words I needed yesterday. Thank you and bless you Mark.

And, I will have lunch --an unexpected lunch! If there is another earthquake in the mid-Atlantic, blame it on us --more on that later!

Peace out.

--how long are we going to tolerate the God-awful conditions of racism and gender-based discrimination?

2011-11-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

Civil War era bread riots in Richmond, VA

Bad girls, bad girls... whacha gonna do when they come for you?

Actually --we should be asking --how long are we going to tolerate the God-awful conditions, systematically maintained, that allow the most vulnerable to become so very desperate? --conditions maintained in large part through racial and gender-based barriers....

At prayer this morning (a portion of Psalm 82)

God takes his stand in the council of heaven; *
he gives judgment in the midst of the gods:

"How long will you judge unjustly, *
and show favor to the wicked?
Save the weak and the orphan; *
defend the humble and needy;
Rescue the weak and the poor; *
deliver them from the power of the wicked.

I am headed off to the women's portion of the Richmond Jail today --to celebrate the Eucharist, to listen, to be present, to offer prayer and the laying on of hands in healing. To give myself away.

Richmond Jail has been rocked by scandal --again. In May, a drug smuggling ring was exposed. In September, two guards caught having sex with female inmates were exposed. I have always reported to the main gates of the jail, been escorted through the male side, down the stairs and in to the female side of the jail. Today I have to find the gate to the women's jail... I suppose the less frequent communication between the two sides of the jail is supposed to curtail this kind of thing.... Right.

But, most importantly, I am remembering... In a conversation yesterday, we were talking about sexual misconduct/harassment training and race relations trainings --both an imperative. My friend, who is a trained group leader said she found a particular resistance in a group of younger folk --particularly when it came to the race relations training. She said the young folk basically said --these aren't our issues --we don't see that way. --to which I responded saying, on the one hand --EXCELLENT! --that means we have done our job! --and on the other hand, BULL!!! My friend said, yeah --just get 'em to talk to someone their age from the east end... ask 'em if racism is not an issue.

--and I add to that --gender-based discrimination... don't get me started on the Herman Cain thang again....

Yeah. Sadly. And when I face the crowd of women in the jail, there will only be, maybe, two other white faces in the crowd.... if the law were applied equally in all things --if judgment were applied equally in all things, surely it would not be so.... How long will you judge unjustly, and show favor....

--and banning male guards from the female side of the jail will not prevent sexual abuse or misconduct....

So, today I will enter a little bit of hell on earth... and witness the blatant wounds of our society --poverty, racism, sexism being the most obvious-- that we so desperately strive to hide away.... and I will not emerge unscathed.... but I shall emerge changed, and, God willing, the Kingdom will be known a-knew.

Off I go. Please pray for the women of Richmond's City Jail.

--lost sheep, crumby dogs and persistent women

2011-11-08T09:59:00.000-05:00

At this moment --Mr. Witty is pressed up close to me in bed sound asleep, and his little feet are running and he's barking at something I can't see... or hear, or touch... or even know.

Maybe when we move, Mr. Witty. Maybe --House is still on the market. Thankfully --we haven't had to show it while I've been under the weather. Because each time we show, I have to clean.

And I haven't wanted to clean... I've been stumbling through an upset stomach, massive headaches, fever, chills, muscle aches, --even my eyeballs hurt, then a spat of feeling okay, then getting worse again for a few day now... thinking maybe I've had the flu but the flu shot I got has kept me from getting really sick.... instead I'm just miserable. But it was the headaches that sent me to the doctor.... Nothing wrong with me. Feeling a bit better today although I can tell "it" is still lurking. Hoping it will go away. Putting off cleaning the house for another couple of days... hey, why not.

Joel has been feeling better, what with his broken back and all --so much better that he forgot, bent over and picked Mr. Witty up... so, he's been spending more time horizontal-way.

And I've got twelve active job applications out there. Waiting. Praying. Thinking about three more.

And today is the day to vote. --now, there's a dream or two....

Matthew 15:21-28 (NRSV)

Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.”

But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, “Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.”

He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” He answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.”

She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”

Then Jesus answered her, “Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

I'd rather be a dog eating up crumbs than a lost sheep. Just sayin'. Even so, I will continue my petitions, for those dreams unseen, unknown --confident that the Lord of all loves lost sheep, crumby dogs and persistent women.

Amen.

Image here.

--for the sake of your tradition?

2011-11-07T10:05:00.000-05:00

Herman Cain tells the reporter to be quiet--don't ask those questions, somebody get him the code of ethics for reporters, and that he is going to keep on track -on message --or something to that effect.... --that the allegations of sexual harassment are fabrications.

Blame the media for asking the questions. And then say, when we have all these other problems, why are we focused on sex?

Well... I would say that the issue is not sex. Nor is it about the media. The issue is about a certain type of powerful, wealthy elite who behave any way they want to without consequences and then want to eliminate any questions about their behavior...

In an interesting article, The Reasons Why Herman Cain Has Not Been Able to Talk His Way Out of His Exploding Sexual Harassment Scandal, the author, Joanna Grossman says: And no matter how unwelcome sexual harassment is, study after study has shown that victims rarely file formal complaints after being harassed. Empirically, doing so is in fact the least likely response of a woman to an incident of sexual harassment at work. So the idea that women are filing sexual harassment lawsuits at the drop of a hat, as a way to make money, is simply false on the facts. The overwhelming majority of women just want the harassment to stop.

Yeppa.

This same article linked to above says that the knowledge of and the legislation regarding sexual harassment was already substantive in federal and state laws --it's not as though Cain was working in a vacuum or at an early transition point in the discussion of sexual harassment. Grossman states, By the late 1990s, when the alleged harassment by Cain is claimed to have occurred, sexual harassment had made its way into the public eye, into federal and state anti-discrimination law, and into employment policies across the country. And employers are liable for on-the-job harassment... the Court held that employers are automatically liable for harassment.... Individuals cannot be sued directly under Title VII, however, regardless of their position in a business entity. Thus, Cain himself, as an individual, would not have faced a Title VII suit. This explains why he does not seem to have been a party to the two settlement agreements.

Wow.

Power. Power of law. Power of money. Power of force. Power of sex. These are our Traditions. These are the fundamental elements of our culture, and our society is based upon them. --as is Power of the People.... Idols, all of 'em.

Idols... An interesting reflection on power and the "Occupy" movement can be found here... Paul Munn says, My main critique is that the "power of the people" fighting against corporations does not really fight against this lie, but only proposes a different form of the same lie. "The corporation is not God... 'We, the People' is God!" I think this is seen especially in the fact that uprisings and revolutions almost always soon result in a consolidation of power and domination just like that of the oppressors they threw off.

So, if we throw off the power of the power-elite that gives us the likes of Cain who believe they can say and do just about anything and we are all just to be quiet or get in line, we will, in time, only build another system of power and another order of elites....

What are we to do? --or are we only stuck in a system of power and abuse?

At prayer this morning (beginning at Matthew 15:1)

Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, "Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands before they eat."

He answered them, "And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?"

Jesus does and always points us to another way. But how, when, where and why to discern what's right and what's not --God's wish for us... But that leads some right back to the system of law, authority and commandments, and a particular interpretation of the holy scriptures to which we are all supposed to conform... another tradition which merely supplants another --and round and round we go....

There is no easy way.... And speaking truth to power is a very, very hard way --a weary way, and often does not result in a change nor a new way. Just look at John the Baptist --calling all to repent from what they are doing --speaking truth to power --get your head on a platter free of charge....

What I do trust is that we are called to struggle to form the way together. It's messy. It changes and morphs to circumstance and context. And, what I do trust is that we are called to be response-able to continually call out to those who hold on to our existing forms of power and authority... challenging it all, asking the questions, pressing in to the discomfort, not pushing for change merely for the sake of change, nor just to overthrow the powers that be... changing one idol for another, but seeking to uphold the least among us, the outsider, the most vulnerable, the poor, the sick, the weak, and thus seeking God's hope/wish/will for us all.

That's all... Amen.

G'wan. Go to church.

2011-11-05T21:28:00.000-04:00

So are you celebrating All Saints?

Beloved, we are God's children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is.

Dang --there's a koan for ya --we will be like him, for we will see him as he is.... That makes perfect sense....

Or, perhaps you are doing Proper 27.... (Amos 5:18-24)

Thus says the Lord, the God of hosts, the Lord:
Alas for you who desire the day of the LORD!
Why do you want the day of the LORD?
It is darkness, not light;
as if someone fled from a lion,
and was met by a bear;
or went into the house and rested a hand against the wall,
and was bitten by a snake.
Is not the day of the LORD darkness, not light,
and gloom with no brightness in it?
I hate, I despise your festivals,
and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.
Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them;
and the offerings of well-being of your fatted animals
I will not look upon.
Take away from me the noise of your songs;
I will not listen to the melody of your harps.
But let justice roll down like waters,
and righteousness like an everflowing stream.

Whooo hooooo! --watch out!!!! --it ain't gonna be what we expect!!! ---it ain't our solemn assemblies, our offerings, our songs and harps ---IT'S JUSTICE ROLLING DOWN LIKE WATER, AND RIGHTEOUSNESS LIKE AN EVERFLOWING STREAM!

G'wan. Go to church. Forget all your other fine offerings and prayers for the dead --offer God your works of justice and righteousness.

G'wan.

My rant and missing the boat on a Saturday morning

2011-11-05T11:22:00.000-04:00

Andy Rooney is dead.

Joel's comment was, 'Poor God.'

The tv station then ran a clip about Rooney, talking about how Rooney was sometimes wrong, but he always admitted it. And then Rooney's voice could be heard saying, 'I've been wrong. But I've been right more often than I've been wrong.'

Lordy. Have mercy.

That set us off over coffee --talking about right/wrong, good/bad and all that... black/white and gray areas. Boundaries....

--and none of us is 'clean.' None of us lives free of the caacaa --or, in Greek κακός We're all in it together.... --which is as close as I can come to St. Augustine and original sin --it's not that we are inherently wicked and born that way --just is, we all swim in it --it's in our eyes and ear and stuck in our teeth...

As Jesus said, only God is G.O.O.D. --in Greek, agathos ἀγαθός. --which is not the same 'good' that God calls us --as we are more a heartfelt 'delightful' or 'beautiful' or even truly 'precious--of great value'... kalos καλὸς --which is more than 'moral good' or 'lawful' good --personal conduct stuff, but that is certainly, for the Greeks, mixed up in there somewhere...

Earlier this week, I posted about the dog "Parrot" killed by a police officer in the streets of D.C. --a year or so ago.... a story that was posted on the Occupy Richmond site, and reposted on the OR FB site as though it were new and relevant news. And, yes, I scratched the surface and could find nothing more --so, in good faith, posted it here as though it were new news. When a faithful reader brought the real story to my attention, I was grateful --and posted the correction. But I was still horrified at the police brutality. I was still moved to prayer. And I felt angry at being 'used' --duped --I was neck deep in someone else's seemingly purposeful agenda.... caacaa.

And yesterday, I posted portions of the excellent speech by Moyers and his reflections on the lucid and brilliant work of Lewis Powell and his use of the Chamber of Commerce to 'educate' and then motivate business owners to lobby for the sole interests of business owners --against the interests of the common good --such as environmental protections, health care and the like.

And as lucid and brilliant as the work of Lewis Powell and using the avenue of the Chamber of Commerce structures may be --it is and remains in my mind slightly twisted --or to use the Greek --pornographic --something good which misses the mark... sinful.

But late last night, I received an email that stated that our local Hispanic Chamber of Commerce is not a part of the THE Chamber of Commerce, so I was misinformed. I am grateful to know that. And I post that correction here and now.

Pushing further --if you wish to know more about the Chamber of Commerce movement --google it and see where it takes you. Some stories will tell us that the first Chamber of Commerce in the United States was founded in 1912 to lobby and advocate for business owners in response to the organization of unions and the labor movement. And all Chambers are truly local networks and follow several different structural models. Interesting. In any event, a concise definition may include this statement:

In the United States, chambers do not operate in the same manner as the Better Business Bureau in that, while the BBB has the authority to bind its members under a formal operations doctrine (and, thus, can remove them if complaints arise regarding their services), the local chamber membership is strictly voluntary. In addition, Chambers represent the interests of businesses, while the BBB represents the interests of the general public.

--the interests of businesses... I stand opposed to the interests of businesses when those interests purchase our political process and block and lobby for the rich and wealthy and business owners over the common good. I. Am. Opposed.

Here is the link to our local Hispanic Chamber. And their sponsor page.... click on the large sponsors if you don't know them... and we'll come around full circle locally, to the beginnings of the work of Lewis Powell....

--we're all in it together.... Don't care where you land --business owner, poor worker, church goer, atheist -- But, some do have the vocation to voice what's ailing us. And in the church --we are more than neck deep in it all. The church is not agathos or the community of particularly 'good' people. Nor is it entirely wicked and sinful. Nor can I separate the church in the world from the eternal church or even and ultimately from Christ's Body. The Church, the Body of Christ is incarnate, heals and does wonders in feeding the hungry world in so many ways --and she is whipped, lacerated, bleeding, nailed to the cross for the sin of the world at the same time. She is all things at once. Beautiful. Rife with sin. And we are neck deep.

At prayer this morning (from Ezra 9)

At the evening sacrifice I got up from my fasting, with my garments and my mantle torn, and fell on my knees, spread out my hands to the LORD my God, and said,

"O my God, I am too ashamed and embarrassed to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens. From the days of our ancestors to this day we have been deep in guilt, and for our iniquities we, our kings, and our priests have been handed over to the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, to plundering, and to utter shame, as is now the case.

But now for a brief moment favor has been shown by the LORD our God, who has left us a remnant, and given us a stake in his holy place, in order that he may brighten our eyes and grant us a little sustenance in our slavery. For we are slaves; yet our God has not forsaken us in our slavery, but has extended to us his steadfast love before the kings of Persia, to give us new life to set up the house of our God, to repair its ruins, and to give us a wall in Judea and Jerusalem.

"And now, our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken your commandments, which you commanded by your servants the prophets, saying, 'The land that you are entering to possess is a land unclean with the pollutions of the peoples of the lands, with their abominations. They have filled it from end to end with their uncleanness. Therefore do not give your daughters to their sons, neither take their daughters for your sons, and never seek their peace or prosperity, so that you may be strong and eat the good of the land and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.' After all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this, shall we break your commandments again and intermarry with the peoples who practice these abominations? Would you not be angry with us until you destroy us without remnant or survivor? O LORD, God of Israel, you are just, but we have escaped as a remnant, as is now the case. Here we are before you in our guilt, though no one can face you because of this."

--and Jesus says, (from Matthew 14)

Matthew 14:22-36 (NRSV)

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray.

When evening came, he was there alone, but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land, for the wind was against them. And early in the morning he came walking toward them on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, "Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid."

Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."

He said, "Come."

So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

We are all neck deep... no matter who, where, what, why. And I shall certainly be caught up in my own sin and the sin of others... and I will sink. Like a stone. Faster, sooner and quicker than Peter (who denied Jesus --a betrayal as deep as that of Judas). And I will be wrong. More often than I am right.

--but I will do what I know as best as I am able --and I will say again and again that the organized machinations of business owners and corporations, no matter how many cultural events, no matter how many 'good' things they do --if they are not after the common good then I have a job to do.... and more than likely, I will be wrong more often than I am right.

And Andy Rooney is dead.

Poor God.
Amen.

Every offering, no matter how small it seems, is more than enough

2011-11-04T10:43:00.000-04:00

Last night, Counterlight posted a link to an article taken from a speech by Bill Moyers. Moyers speaks of the "American bargain" --how it was that everyone used to know that investment in public schools, roads, health care systems, parks, libraries was for the common good --for the benefit of all. These are the very things that Tea Party activists want to undo or privatize --in other words, make a profit or not do them at all...

This, on the evening that our fine government has voted down a hearing on another portion of the jobs bill that would address public infrastructure... --a government that has been high jacked by those who will put profit for a few above the common good... --and I am not against profit; I am against the destruction of our environment and the rape of the people for the sake of profit. Just sayin'.

Bill Moyers says:

It’s heartbreaking to see what has become of that bargain. Nowadays it’s every man for himself. How did this happen? The rise of the money power in our time goes back forty years. We can pinpoint the date. On August 23, 1971, a corporate lawyer named Lewis Powell—a board member of the death-dealing tobacco giant Philip Morris and a future justice of the Supreme Court—released a confidential memorandum for his friends at the US Chamber of Commerce. We look back on it now as a call to arms for class war waged from the top down.

Philip Morris is headquartered here in Richmond. Lewis Powell is a native-born son of Virginia. He worked at the law firm that commands much of downtown Richmond to this day, representing the tobacco industry. The Powell Memo, which championed the free and unregulated reign of corporations using the Chamber of Commerce as its front, is a clincher --

Recall the context of Powell’s memo. Big business was being forced to clean up its act. Even Republicans had signed on. In 1970 President Nixon put his signature on the National Environmental Policy Act and named a White House Council to promote environmental quality. A few months later millions of Americans turned out for Earth Day. Nixon then agreed to create the Environmental Protection Agency. Congress acted swiftly to pass tough amendments to the Clean Air Act, and the EPA announced the first air pollution standards. There were new regulations directed at lead paint and pesticides. Corporations were no longer getting away with murder.

Quite literally....

Powell was shocked by what he called an “attack on the American free enterprise system.” Not just from a few “extremists of the left” but also from “perfectly respectable elements of society,” including the media, politicians and leading intellectuals. Fight back and fight back hard, he urged his compatriots. Build a movement. Set speakers loose across the country. Take on prominent institutions of public opinion—especially the universities, the media and the courts. Keep television programs “monitored the same way textbooks should be kept under constant surveillance.” And above all, recognize that political power must be “assiduously [sic] cultivated; and that when necessary, it must be used aggressively and with determination” and “without embarrassment.”

Emphasis mine... every small-town Chamber cultivating what we are living with now --protesting regulation, taxation or caring for employees or customers.... Profit for a few at the expense of all else is a closed system which will destroy itself. The Powell Memorandum text can be found here, with some analysis.

Powell imagined the Chamber of Commerce as a council of war. Since business executives had “little stomach for hard-nosed contest with their critics” and “little skill in effective intellectual and philosophical debate,” they should create think tanks, legal foundations and front groups of every stripe. These groups could, he said, be aligned into a united front through “careful long-range planning and implementation…consistency of action over an indefinite period of years, in the scale of financing available only through joint effort, and in the political power available only through united action and united organizations.”

The public wouldn’t learn of the memo until after Nixon appointed Powell to the Supreme Court that same year, 1971. By then his document had circulated widely in corporate suites. Within two years the board of the Chamber of Commerce had formed a task force of forty business executives—from US Steel, GE, GM, Phillips Petroleum, 3M, Amway, and ABC and CBS (two media companies, we should note). Their assignment was to coordinate the crusade, put Powell’s recommendations into effect and push the corporate agenda. Powell had set in motion a revolt of the rich. As historian Kim Phillips-Fein subsequently wrote, “Many who read the memo cited it afterward as inspiration for their political choices.”

Moyers's speech is quite good. Do read it all.

About a year ago, talking with someone about the Spanish language service at the parish I served, they suggested we spend some time at a Chamber of Commerce sponsored event... I objected.... It was consistent of me to do so... despite the costs. Even knowing what I know now, I would do so again. If we aren't faithful in the little things, like not supporting Chamber of Commerce events, how are we to be faithful in the big things?

..and it is little thing, by little thing, step by step that we are called to be faithful.

At prayer this morning (beginning at Matthew 14:13)

Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick.

When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves."

Jesus said to them, "They need not go away; you give them something to eat."

They replied, "We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish."

Every offering, no matter how small it seems, is more than enough. Every. Offering.

There we are. Amen.

seduced by the dance of machinations instead of facing the truth of ourselves....

2011-11-03T11:52:00.000-04:00

At prayer this morning (A Collect for Guidance)

Heavenly Father, in you we live and move and have our being: We humbly pray you so to guide and govern us by your Holy Spirit, that in all the cares and occupations of our life we may not forget you, but may remember that we are ever walking in your sight; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Mr. Witty never got down off the bed to get in to his own bed last night --which he usually does. He slept with his little head on a pillow right next to mine. All night. And when I awoke, he was nose to nose and smiling. He followed me down stairs to make coffee, went out and chased a squirrel, came in and told me all about the weather --that he likes the autumn chill and the smells, did I notice he had stopped chewing on his foot, he'd been trying really hard not to chew --you know, all the things that dogs talk about before breakfast.

And, then he insisted on joining us on Joel's bed as I delivered coffee and breakfast... and when the firetruck passed by on the street just after 8 this morning, Mr. Witty sat up and gave a head thrown back, nose to heaven, perfect posture full-bore howl in his best tenor offering. His. Beautiful. Voice.

...in you we live and move and have our being...

And I went to bed last night, bolstering my immune system with a hot vitamin jolt because it--my immune system, was giving me every warning that something was wrong... and my older brother couldn't get his video chat stuff to work, we had an appointment to talk about our soul journeys... turns out it was his firewall or something... and M and I exchanged emails, wishing that sometimes there were vitamin jolts for the soul... and I awoke with a deep cough, but my soul is breathing deeply and clearly.

...that in all the cares and occupations of our life we may not forget you...

--and I am remembering a priest friend who told me the night of my ordination that it would take about five to seven years to find my voice. That struck me as odd... I thought I had a voice already, and knew it. And yet now I am beginning to know the wisdom of what she said, and it has nothing to do with not knowing my voice to begin with... it's about finding those deep inner stretches of --ummm, silence is the best word I can think of --the voice--the song embedded in the silence, the black hole of the soul, the gravity of inner space --tearing the veil between the known self and the unknown self. Opening up. Surrendering to what is within...

...we are ever walking in your sight...

--and thinking how those old stories of fig leaves and shame and covering up and seeking what's true and not true and life and death come from a voice, a human voice, an ancient ancestor voice (far wiser than any that gives us the most clever piece of technology)... the voice that sings the songs and knows the rythms --whose clarity can lead us in the soul dance through the shame, the pressure of the crowd, the institutional gore and inner betrayal, to that other place, so that when we find ourselves there, we are amazed at its simplicity. Our voice.

Not a dream. Not paradise. Voice. Wups --there we are...

(Matthew 14:1-12)

At that time Herod the ruler heard reports about Jesus; and he said to his servants, “This is John the Baptist; he has been raised from the dead, and for this reason these powers are at work in him.”

For Herod had arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because John had been telling him, “It is not lawful for you to have her.” Though Herod wanted to put him to death, he feared the crowd, because they regarded him as a prophet.

But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company, and she pleased Herod so much that he promised on oath to grant her whatever she might ask. Prompted by her mother, she said, “Give me the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.”

The king was grieved, yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he commanded it to be given; he sent and had John beheaded in the prison. The head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, who brought it to her mother.

His disciples came and took the body and buried it; then they went and told Jesus.

When we are seduced by the dance of machinations instead of facing the truth of ourselves, make our own oaths idols --something to be held in esteem, the pressure of the crowd our lover --we will always chop the head off the voice we should instead listen to...

Individually. Corporately.

I am remembering the thousands in Oakland who shut the port down... finding their voice.

And for those still in jail here in Richmond --a candlelight vigil

Sweet surrender, sweet surrender,
I am opening up in Sweet Surrender
To the luminous love-light of the One.
I am opening, I am opening.
I am opening, I am opening.

Amen.

May R continue in his journey/dance to the center. May J not lose his.

2011-11-02T10:56:00.000-04:00

All Soul's. For all the faithful departed....

A while ago, a homeless man, R, who was a faithful member of the church I served decided it was time for him to have a regular bed and meals... after thirty years on the street, he was ready. So, we got him off the street (oh what a battle getting him ID and all) --in to a nursing home --found his family --they had moved west and thought he was long since dead. It was a joyful reunion. Last summer, the police barged in to his nursing home room and arrested him on a warrant (urinating in public) that had been outstanding for seven or more years --put him in jail, and within a day or two, he was hospitalized.... By the time he had the charges against him dismissed, and he was eligible to return to the nursing home, his SSI check had been diverted and it would take a while to get it restored; he was on his way out on the street again.... We contacted his family, and he was put on the plane to head west and be with them....

Sweet. Very sweet. Resurrected. Reconciled. Reunited. Restored.

But just months after arriving 'home' --at Thanksgiving Day dinner, R went to the bathroom saying he did not feel well... and he died within hours.

Reconciled. Reunited. Restored. Resurrected.

I am brought full circle this morning by thinking of R and that same jail... I have volunteered there. It's a God-awful place with spare life squeezed in between the slabs of concrete and the twisted razor wire of humiliation and oppression.

And in the wake of the Occupy Richmond sweep up, a dozen or more folks were arrested for trespassing on public property --some were released, and a remnant remain in that same jail... among them, this young man:

That's in 2008... an up and coming community organizer. A convert from the Bush campaign... ready to move the world.

On the news last night, it was reported that he remained in jail because he would not promise not to return to the Occupy site....

O.M.G. In what section of the jail will they put him? With the druggies? The murderers? The violent crimes section? Burglary? --where do they put someone contesting a trespassing arrest? --trespassing on public property?

There are other videos in which he is interviewed --but as they have his name spelled out etc, I decided not to post them here... yes, he knew the interviews were entering public domain... but, he is in such a precarious situation right now... etc. --shield the innocent....

I keep wondering --if he worked on the Bush campaign in high school, I wonder what his mama thinks of him now...

At prayer this morning (Matthew 13:53-58)

When Jesus had finished these parables, he left that place.

He came to his hometown and began to teach the people in their synagogue, so that they were astounded and said, "Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power? Is not this the carpenter's son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?" And they took offense at him.

But Jesus said to them, "Prophets are not without honor except in their own country and in their own house." And he did not do many deeds of power there, because of their unbelief.

Yeah... it is a big deal that the Mother of Jesus, Mary, continued in her conversion and followed her son in to the depths of the outrage of speaking against the political and religious powers that be.... I am sure it was not easy for her, a mother following her son --what with her neighbors talking about it... the dangers, the shame.

R knew and experienced all the wrongs of our world --and he gave up, succumbed to hiding in public on the streets. J is just beginning his journey, and has taken to the same streets seeking his vision and has been taken to the same jail....

--in the name of reconciliation, reunion, restoration --in other lingo --resurrection....

Hey God --you know my prayers. May R continue in his journey/dance to the center. May J not lose his. We remember all those whom we love but no longer see in their dance to the center.

Amen.

Blessed All Saints --party, celebrate, rejoice for an octave if you wish!

2011-11-01T10:36:00.001-04:00

It is All Saints. The day to remember the shining examples of those who have gone before us in faith ---but we mostly conflate it with All Souls, the day to remember all the dead... but, frankly, that is alright with me --yes, I am a liturgy geek, but not a fanatical purist, and I see no wrong in walking in this world for TWO days, remembering that the veil between heaven and earth has been torn --there is no separation between the living and the dead, the Holy and all else...

Blessed All Saints --party, celebrate, rejoice for an octave if you wish!

So, I remember Joan, Alvin, Nancy, Don, Nancy, Bill, Marguerite, Alvin, Eleanor, Elmer, Dolly, Charlie, Alice, Burch, Robert, Janie, Helen, Claude, Ducky (I don't remember her proper name --she was always Ducky), Stanley, Young, Kreger, Kirstin, Carol, Don, Franny (my God mother)-- if you have folks you wish to have remembered, don't hesitate to post their names in the comments.

And my good, good dogs, Zeus, Minnie, Roo, Olaf and Clio-- who have a place in heaven as much as anyone... --showed me the face of God in so many ways....

--and this dog, Parrot, a companion of a member of the Occupy movement, a victim:

At prayer this All Saints morning (Wisdom 5:1-5, 14-16)

Then the righteous will stand with great confidence
in the presence of those who have oppressed them
and those who make light of their labors.
When the unrighteous see them, they will be shaken with dreadful fear,
and they will be amazed at the unexpected salvation of the righteous.
They will speak to one another in repentance,
and in anguish of spirit they will groan, and say,
‘These are persons whom we once held in derision
and made a byword of reproach - fools that we were!
We thought that their lives were madness
and that their end was without honor.
Why have they been numbered among the children of God?
And why is their lot among the saints?

Because the hope of the ungodly is like thistledown carried by the wind,
and like a light frost driven away by a storm;
it is dispersed like smoke before the wind,
and it passes like the remembrance of a guest who stays but a day.

But the righteous live for ever,
and their reward is with the Lord;
the Most High takes care of them.
Therefore they will receive a glorious crown
and a beautiful diadem from the hand of the Lord,
because with his right hand he will cover them,
and with his arm he will shield them.

It is not my hope nor my faith that carries me, but the hope and faith of the One who holds all things in being, and in whom all are alive, because there is only life, and that eternal life. We are called to witness to --to show --to point to --to embody that Life, now and always.

Amen!

UPDATE AND CORRECTION: from the comments, thank you Paula.

Dear Margaret, Pen, and other friends,

I have a link to a story in the Washington Post from last year. Parrot the dog was part of a doggie street fight at a festival in Washington last year. There is a dispute about whether the dog was treated properly, so our distress over Parrot's death probably is not displaced. However, the incident did not take place as reported in this blog.

The internet can be a place of repurposing actual stories for new gain. I am saddened that someone felt it necessary to gin up the news for the Occupy movement, which I support.

Thy Friend Paula

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/12/AR2010091203938.html

the bitterness of the sweetness we know

2011-10-31T10:16:00.000-04:00

At morning prayer (beginning at The Revelation to John 10:7-11)

Then the voice that I had heard from heaven spoke to me again, saying, “Go, take the scroll that is open in the hand of the angel who is standing on the sea and on the land.” So I went to the angel and told him to give me the little scroll; and he said to me, “Take it, and eat; it will be bitter to your stomach, but sweet as honey in your mouth.” So I took the little scroll from the hand of the angel and ate it; it was sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it, my stomach was made bitter. Then they said to me, “You must prophesy again about many peoples and nations and languages and kings.”

...sometimes the ecstatic vision of the Revelation to John is just what is called for...

Yesterday I went and served as celebrant and preacher at a local church. It has been a long bit of desert since I celebrated a Sunday mass... I was filled and emptied at the same time --preached a little about costumes and dressing up for Halloween and seeing through costumes to the inner voice -the soul, and what about those persons who have donned the costume of throwing money around in the market place, dressing up in unnecessarily gaudy clothes, not doing what they themselves teach, putting heavy burdens on others and not being willing to lift a finger themselves --all the pretense... can we see through those things, that type of costume, to the inner voice --to their soul... and do as Jesus would do --be present, work for reconciliation and healing, restoration.... Offer ourselves....

Stuff like that is really sweet in the mouth, but drives the stomach crazy in a persistent bitterness. Such is a Christian life --one thinks it is supposed to be all sweetness and light, what with L.O.V.E. and all that... but it really is a walk in the valley of the shadow of death and sin --cuz that is what we are called to do --walk in love in to those crevices of the heart for the sake of the world.

Eyes wide open. Stomachs girded. Vulnerable. Willing.

And celebrating mass yesterday --the words come out so sweet, but when met with the behind-the-scenes realities of the human condition --the tears, the grief spilled over, the remembrances, the conversations in the narthex --the behind the costume life.... a holy walk.

It takes intestinal fortitude....

--and more love, --just a little scroll.... and a whole life. Girded. Vulnerable. Willing. Broken.

Hey God --it's margaret here... I pray for the widows and widowers of this world who know love lost, for all those whose love has been betrayed, for the children all dressed up --may we all listen to the desires of their hearts where no secrets are hid and walk the way through the valley of the shadow of death without pretense --naked --remembering the sweetness in the mouth as the fortitude required to digest it sets in.... as grains of wheat scattered on a hillside made one in the bread of ages --

--gratitude. And on this Day Before we give thanks for the cloud of witnesses --gratitude, sweet gratitude...

--and the sudden news that Occupy Richmond was bulldozed over night --makes my stomach bitter... S.O. V.E.R.Y. B.I.T.T.E.R.... those that refused to flee before the bulldozer were arrested... And so it goes.

...and the faithful remnant?

--the bitterness of the sweetness we know.

Lord have mercy.

remembering....

2011-10-29T12:14:00.000-04:00

...had to run off early for an early showing this morning.... It is a cold and wet morning here in Richmond, so we left our gas coal fireplace on in the living room, with a teapot and cup out... talk about 'staging'.

I am remembering the Occupy folks in my prayers this morning -especially the folks here in Richmond, with it being so cold and wet. Joel told me he heard news from two cities in New York --that the police had refused to move on the occupiers despite orders to do so... and that someone actually articulated that one of the reasons that mainstream media can't get a solid sound bite regarding "what it's all about" from centralized Occupy "leaders" is because the way it's playing out is living in to its 99% representation --every body can hold up their own facet of the 99%, but what is so obviously wrong (grid-locked untrustworthy government purchased by the highest bidder and run for the benefit of the 1% and multi-national corporations) affects every one --the 1% and the 99% alike....

I remember, slavery corrupts the masters as well as the slaves... perhaps corrupting the masters more insidiously and absolutely....

And, it is frightening at time, to ponder the Revelation of John... 'blood of the Lamb' and all that weird prophecy stuff.... But it does speak directly to those who are suffering and oppressed --H.O.P.E. --and there is more --so much more...

At prayer this morning (Revelation 7:13)

Then one of the elders addressed me, saying, "Who are these, robed in white, and where have they come from?" I said to him, "Sir, you are the one that knows."

Then he said to me, "These are they who have come out of the great ordeal; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

For this reason they are before the throne of God,
and worship him day and night within his temple,
and the one who is seated on the throne will shelter them.
They will hunger no more, and thirst no more;
the sun will not strike them,
nor any scorching heat;
for the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd,
and he will guide them to springs of the water of life,
and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

I am remembering that it was two years ago this week that we went to pick up Juan Manuel. I haven't heard from him in nearly two months.... I hope and pray he has not got caught up in the Texas borderlands struggles, or inner city gang wars.... --every tear...

--and I prepare to preach and celebrate tomorrow --I thank God for that.

Peace out.

--ὀφειλήματα-- the word is definitely DEBT

2011-10-28T10:29:00.000-04:00

The headlines say: Tea party groups say cities favor Occupy protesters; Va. group wants $8,000 returned

RICHMOND, Va. — Tea party activists on Thursday accused officials in at least four cities of giving preferential treatment to anti-Wall Street protesters, and one group in Richmond is asking the city to repay $8,000 spent for permits and other needs.

In addition to Richmond and Charlottesville, Va., tea party groups in Washington and Atlanta said Occupy protesters have openly defied police and local officials without consequence. A national tea party coordinator echoed those claims.

“If you’re law-abiding citizens, they’re going to make you follow every bit and letter of the law,” said Mark Meckler, national coordinator and co-founder of Tea Party Patriots. “What we’re talking about is selective enforcement of the law.”

At prayer this morning (beginning at Isaiah 28:9)

Whom will he teach knowledge,
and to whom will he explain the message?
Those who are weaned from milk,
those taken from the breast?
For it is precept upon precept, precept upon precept,
line upon line, line upon line,
here a little, there a little.

precept [ˈpriːsɛpt] n

1. a rule or principle for action
2. a guide or rule for morals; maxim
3. a direction, esp for a technical operation
4. (Law) Law
a. a writ or warrant
b. a written order to a sheriff to arrange an election, the empanelling of a jury, etc.
c. (in England) an order to collect money under a rate

(beginning again, at Isaiah 28:12)

Truly, with stammering lip
and with alien tongue
he will speak to this people,
to whom he has said,
"This is rest;
give rest to the weary;
and this is repose";
yet they would not hear.
Therefore the word of the LORD will be to them,
"Precept upon precept, precept upon precept,
line upon line, line upon line,
here a little, there a little"

In Europe they are suggesting that the banks forgive the debt of Greece... --a way out of the financial crisis --make the institutions that led us there be responsible.... I think that is a good idea. But there is only a fat chance in hell that will happen here.

Jubilee, I think it is called --biblically. Jubilee --forgive. The debts.

(Matthew 6:9-13)[the Lord's Prayer]

οὕτως οὖν προσεύχεσθε ὑμεῖς· Πάτερ ἡμῶν ὁ ἐν τοῖς οὐρανοῖς· ἁγιασθήτω τὸ ὄνομα σου
ἐλθέτω ὴ βασιλεία σου· γενηθήτω τὸ θέλημα σου, ὡς ἐν οὐρανῷ καὶ ἐπὶ γῆς
τὸν ἄρτον ἡμῶν τὸν ἐπιούσιον δὸς ἡμῖν σήμερον
καὶ ἄφες ἡμῖν τὰ ὀφειλήματα ἡμῶν, ὡς καὶ ἡμεῖς ἀφήκαμεν τοῖς ὀφειλέταις ἡμῶν.
καὶ μὴ εἰσενέγκῃς ἡμᾶς εἰς πειρασμόν, ἀλλὰ ῥῦσαι ἡμᾶς ἀπὸ τοῦ πονηροῦ

--ὀφειλήματα-- the word is definitely DEBT.... as we forgive theirs...

Peace out.

Occupy Richmond in my prayers

2011-10-27T10:31:00.000-04:00

Photo credit: Rudolph (Rudy) Hickman Photography (804) 244-0443

We went down to Occupy Richmond yesterday afternoon. It was much larger than I had thought --far more tents than the news would have led us to believe. But it being the middle of the afternoon, the population was sparse. There was a large living room type area, signs all around --a group of young folk in a tent marked "medical" --we talked to them for a while. I wept (inside my soul) at the starry forests, tame lions and unencumbered paths of their conversation. We're all different, we're all coming from different places --but we are all committed to this... a common goal to change what's happening in this country. The Tea Party saw it too --but they want a different sort of change than what we want....

There were others there as well --some of the guys I know who live on the street, in to drugs and drink, obviously glad for the company and food and stage.... but they were a minority, a handful.

We met a neighbor there --and he was there with a friend. My neighbor was saying he was all about what the Occupy movement was about... I believe him. His friend was Peter Simon, who had his camera hung around his neck and was taking shot after shot. Mr. Simon had been to several other Occupy sites --Boston, New York and places between, and was documenting them --after all, he has been documenting this type of stuff for several decades....

I met my neighbor again this morning --I, taking The Early Walk, and he Walking The Dog. I asked him what he thought of Occupy Richmond... He said, again, he fully supports what they are saying, supports what it's all about --but he wishes they were dressed decently (as opposed to the young man in the sun dress) so people would take them seriously --you know.... Seriously. --I said, well, prophets are almost always fringe-types, and what they say and who they hang out with are never decent.... Oh, he said... that's right... but, I want more... Like what's going on in Occupy Oakland.

You mean the violent confrontations? I asked. --No, he said, the organization and the seriousness of it.... They are serious there.

Occupy Oakland. Yeah. In the same place where anti-war and Stop the Draft movements began.... they want to shut down the city.... Prove that the 1% can't function without the 99%....

Serious. I see my neighbor in a new light now. Not some starry forest --he's serious.... thanks be to God.

On the news this morning, the local Tea Party folks are mad with our mayor that Occupy Richmond has not been kicked out of the park they occupy --illegal encampment, they say... they want action. Arrests. They want it to stop.

Sigh.... trouble's coming....

While there, I asked what was needed --at the tent marked "Food" and the tent marked "Media." Food said vegan stuff; Media said a 3G so that the college students could all log on.... I forgot to ask if Media meant receiver or router... I think he meant router.... In the meantime, I'll make some high protein beans with some flavor so that these young folk and the strange folk will have what it takes to meet what the Tea Party is gonna hatch with some protein under their belts.

I wonder if the Tea Party folks know the young folk at Occupy Richmond would be willing to share what little food they have with them.... Somehow, I doubt the reverse would be true.

At prayer this morning (beginning at Matthew 13:18-23)

Jesus said, "Hear then the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart....

As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away.

As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing.

The lure chokes... yeah...

A Collect For Cities

Heavenly Father, in your Word you have given us a vision of that holy City to which the nations of the world bring their glory: Behold and visit, we pray, the cities of the earth. Renew the ties of mutual regard which form our civic life. Send us honest and able leaders. Enable us to eliminate poverty, prejudice and oppression, that peace may prevail with righteousness, and justice with order, and that men and women from different cultures and with differing talents may find with one another the fulfillment of their humanity; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

There we are. Amen.

a people of a dull heart... is that us?

2011-10-26T11:18:00.000-04:00

I really slept in today... way late... up late thinking....

I am answering questions as part of interview processes --looking for work all over the nation.... One of the consistent categories of questions is --what are the challenges to the church and what can be done to meet them?

As best as I've been able, I've discerned external and internal challenges and we must shape and live different responses to each. External challenges in our context here in the States include changing cultural systems that no longer give primacy to Christianity (anything from scheduling sports events on a Sunday morning or open hostility etc.), nationwide economic challenges, national political ethos, no longer use of its language and metaphor to describe trends and events, no longer seeing the church as an example of authority --living what it preaches --you get the drift. Internal challenges (here in the States) include the full bore list of an aging population of believers and participants, aging buildings that are expensive to maintain, and among other things, congregations that are at odds with themselves on what church is all about --is it a refuge where we repair from the wear and tear of the week? --is it where we get fed for the journey? --is it a place of like-minded folk who put their prayer in to action?

(The Barna Group is a good source for research on trends, challenges, parsing out the statistics....)

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about these things... and trying to articulate appropriate and locally applicable responses.... But this morning at prayer, there was this:

(Matthew 13:10-17)

Then the disciples came and asked Jesus, "Why do you speak to them in parables?" He answered, "To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. The reason I speak to them in parables is that ‘seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.’ With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says:

‘You will indeed listen, but never understand,
and you will indeed look, but never perceive.
For this people's heart has grown dull,
and their ears are hard of hearing,
and they have shut their eyes;
so that they might not look with their eyes,
and listen with their ears,
and understand with their heart and turn -
and I would heal them.’

“But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it."

This is overwhelming stuff.... Parables --the metaphor and language of the church --describing that which no words will ever satisfy... Those who have and those who have not --more and less will be given, in exactly the opposite language of the first shall be last and the last first....

But what really struck me --is that the people's heart has grown dull... ears do not hear, eyes shut, hearts that do not understand....

--have we, as a church, lost our vision, our hearing --are our hearts grown cold? --while we pick and natter and create internal strife? --have we lost the radical emphasis of the Gospel? --embracing money as a panacea, becoming more authoritarian and lawful --afraid of those wilderness places where the Spirit leads us among the wild animals and other treacheries...

I am sure there are some who would say, most certainly --and we are headed straight to hell --or not so straight and to hell because of it....

But, maybe where we are is coming face to face with the demands of the Gospel.... --and what we have, more will be given us.... and do we want more of what we already have?

--has this always been the challenge of/to the church?

Hey God --it's margaret here. The church usually responds well to the hungry, the thirsty --that sort of circumstance.... although I do remember the statements from some that we were merely supporting the system by caring for the poor --and, yes, that is so true on so many levels.... but it is mostly true when we allow the status quo to continue unchallenged. Move us to open our eyes, ears and hearts --and throw the tables over inside the Temple for the sake of the Gospel.... and restore those 'outside' the Temple --as if there really were an inside and outside.... help us to know the true longings of our heart, and may we find you there in that wilderness...

--and, now, I must run --totally unfinished, to another interview.... Send me, Father, where what I see, hear and love may be for your glory and in support of your priestly people. Amen.

secret prayers of my ol' hag heart

2011-10-25T10:46:00.000-04:00

It was chilly this morning on the 3+ mile walk... the leaves not doing a real outrageous color thing this year --mostly brown. So far. Lots of dry clacking around our shoes.... There are some Halloween decorations out on the lawns and porches --and the dancing scarecrows dressed oh-so-nicely didn't scare me as much as the huge black spiders with tidy orange bows around their necks.

Huge black spiders just shouldn't wear tidy orange bows. Whether it's Halloween or not.... And, can I just say it --dressing up as Justin Bieber for Halloween isn't right either.... Halloween is the celebration of the veil between the living and the dead being torn... when all hell breaks loose and heaven lets go.

It ain't sweet nor abhorrently scary/gross... it's when the dead and the living brush shoulders and see and know each other, face to face....

--oh well. And I guess my grumpy and generalized sweep of the arm statement comes from a place of great love of Halloween... I truly love celebrating first all those who have gone before us as great examples of faith, and then celebrating all those who are hid in Christ in God --the great cloud of all those who have shaped and formed us, known and unknown.... Kinda like the leaves of autumn.... So --who would want to dress up as an old dry brown leaf when there are some real colors we could imagine being?!

My favorite costume as a kid was as a witch --nasty, green, wrinkled and curled up.... roundly despised... But I loved witches. If I had only known then what I know now about views of women --and the "other" role of the hag.... (hag being the Old English for witch) --goddess of the winter months (bride being the goddess of the summer) hags being the harbor of the recipes of old wisdom, other wisdom --counter-patriarchal deep knowledge that is pushed off the roads in to the fences and hedges and chimney ways --the frightening knowledge of the powerless. Hags --the embodiment of old women self-possessed in a system that wishes to possess them.... Hags. Shaped and formed me. In so many life-giving ways.

So, yes, scarecrows and spiders and queens and fairy princesses --fine. But give me a witch and I'll be glad. Joyful. The old other knowledge will yet live.

And the old other knowledge will keep us all alive... the old other knowledge gives us the eyes and heart to want to throw the seed around, following in the shoes of the Sower --not to be the passive soil, the rocky ground... but to cast the seed and prayers for new growth liberally --every where --willing to be surprised....

(At prayer this morning, Matthew 13:1-9)

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach.

And he told them many things in parables, saying: "Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up.

Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. But when the sun rose, they were scorched; and since they had no root, they withered away.

Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them.

Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. Let anyone with ears listen!"

So here's to all who will adorn themselves this Hallows Eve as their inner self --may they all be seeking to follow in the shoes of the Sower...

--and, all those other secret prayers of my ol' hag heart.
Amen.

Utopia looks like death to me....

2011-10-24T10:58:00.000-04:00

Utopia...?

(At prayer this morning, Isaiah 65:17-25)

For I am about to create new heavens and a new earth;
the former things shall not be remembered or come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever in what I am creating;
for I am about to create Jerusalem as a joy, and its people as a delight.
I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and delight in my people;
no more shall the sound of weeping be heard in it,
or the cry of distress.
No more shall there be in it an infant that lives but a few days,
or an old person who does not live out a lifetime;
for one who dies at a hundred years will be considered a youth,
and one who falls short of a hundred will be considered accursed.
They shall build houses and inhabit them;
they shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
They shall not build and another inhabit;
they shall not plant and another eat;
for like the days of a tree shall the days of my people be,
and my chosen shall long enjoy the work of their hands.
They shall not labor in vain, or bear children for calamity;
for they shall be offspring blessed by the LORD -and their descendants as well.
Before they call I will answer, while they are yet speaking I will hear.
The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, the lion shall eat straw like the ox;
but the serpent - its food shall be dust!
They shall not hurt or destroy on all my holy mountain,
says the LORD.

Or, The Kingdom?
Is there a difference between Utopia and The Kingdom?

I have thought about this for a couple of days... having been in contact with someone who seems to be caught up in a cultish-type thing or a cosmogony. And I have been wondering what it is we seek --if there is a difference in what sells a cult and in the faith Tradition of Christianity...

To be honest, I have always thought that it is not a specific future we struggle to attain, but a manner of living in the present in which we seek to practice and encourage each other, a way of living we keep in mind.... And, that manner of living in the present is informed, shaped, held in being in, by, with, through Christ.

--it is not a determination to change society, change people --it is hard enough to pick the logs out of one's own eye --but a way to live in love, giving all and each dignity and respect....

But I went and looked up Utopia just for fun... and was blown away.

The word comes from the Greek: οὐ ("not") and τόπος ("place") and means "no place". The English homophone eutopia, derived from the Greek εὖ ("good" or "well") and τόπος ("place"), means "good place". This, due to the identical pronunciation of "utopia" and "eutopia", gives rise to a double meaning.

And, in English, we use the form 'no-place' --utopia.... --huh! That seems rather cynical.... But, I can't help it --it seems rather true....

No place. Good place.... the so-called good place is no place....

And my mind went to the church --where it seems some are trying to form a community of people striving to be perfect... and whether or not that is possible, and all the typologies of people --good, fallen and in between.... --and others in the church have something else in mind.

And, my mind went to politics --where it seems some are trying to form a perfect society through law which imposes a certain vision of how we are to be... --and others have something else in mind.

The first category of each would seem to fall in to employing rigid and rigorous means to form perfection --beliefs, ideals-- and consequences, terrible consequences if one falls short....

--it's the 'something else' that captivates me. Not beliefs. Not ideals. Not consequences.

The description and history of Utopian thought --fascinating... cataloged as ecological, economic, political policies, scientific, gender specific, religious... (from wikipedia)

In many cultures, societies, religions, and cosmogonies, there is some myth or memory of a distant past when humankind lived in a primitive and simple state, but at the same time one of perfect happiness and fulfillment. In those days, the various myths tell us, there was an instinctive harmony between man and nature. Men's needs were few and their desires limited. Both were easily satisfied by the abundance provided by nature. Accordingly, there were no motives whatsoever for war or oppression. Nor was there any need for hard and painful work. Humans were simple and pious, and felt themselves close to the gods. ....

These mythical or religious archetypes are inscribed in all the cultures and resurge with special vitality when people are in difficult and critical times. However, the projection of the myth does not take place towards the remote past, but either towards the future or towards distant and fictional places, imagining that at some time of the future, at some point of the space or beyond the death must exist the possibility of living happily.

--emphasis in bold is mine... sifting through the gender-specific language.... knowing we are living in difficult and critical times and wondering at the archetypes being employed.....

Even if one of the gods themselves came, it would be impossible to make this world a perfect place --to make us peoples live in that perfect place and way.... the perfect life...

I would rather trust the One who created volcanoes and earthquakes, horrific winds and rains, wild hungry beasts... and not make an idol of life itself --grasping and holding to it, trying to perfect it... I would rather trust the One who did not oppress us with conformity to law and will... I would rather trust the One who chooses love over success, love over failure, love over power and force, love over weakness and vulnerability, love even through anarchy and chaos and violence and death....

--to hold all lightly....

Such is grace.

The artist of the work above can be found here. Imminent Utopia... looks like death to me....

Amen.

G'wan. Go to church.

2011-10-22T16:35:00.001-04:00

Now while the Pharisees were gathered together, Jesus asked them this question: "What do you think of the Messiah? Whose son is he?" They said to him, "The son of David." He said to them, "How is it then that David by the Spirit calls him Lord, saying, `The Lord said to my Lord, "Sit at my right hand, until I put your enemies under your feet"'? If David thus calls him Lord, how can he be his son?"

Oh --well that's easy! For the same reason that when Prince Philip, The Queen's Consort --if he survives his wife, he will have to bow and pledge fealty to his own son, and call his own son 'King.'

Duh....

But, then again, leave it to the Gospel to point out how sometimes everything gets turned on it's head... especially technical questions that don't need asking in the first place!

G'wan. Go to church. And remember that Jesus calls us 'Friend' --and that through adoption in the Spirit we are children of God --and I guess as God calls Jesus, Son, so then we are his sisters and brothers...

So, how can we call Jesus, our Brother, Lord? Or is it even a question worth asking?!! And how many times do we get trapped in to a corner of our own making (just like the Pharisees) by asking questions that aren't worth asking! --or answering!

--where is the beginning of our presuppositions!

--just sayin'.

2011-10-22T10:50:00.000-04:00

Last night, a couple of shootings in Richmond....

And the President announced the withdrawal of troops from Iraq.... leaving a remnant at the place which will function as the U.S. embassy there.... I remember the feelings as I heard of the similar news in the withdrawal of troops from Vietnam --the overwhelming joy and grief at the same time --the faces of my dead friends swimming before me. Knowing it was truly over. With this news about Iraq, I feel no such joy --just a rancid pit in my stomach --a shameful war of reactive aggression and cowboy tactics spurred on by old men with dreams of dominion and revenge... their version of so-called democracy where the masses submit to their rapacious delivery of the veneer of minority rule... --and the open brain cavities and empty eyes of the young men at the veteran's hospital... the girls and mothers pulling at any hope. This war is not over. It's not over. Not any time soon.

Would that it were over --give us a sign, O Lord, --help us know what to do... --finding myself in that prayer again....

(From Matthew 12 at prayer this morning)

Then some of the scribes and Pharisees said to him, "Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you." But he answered them, "An evil and adulterous generation asks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.

Jonah --swallowed whole in to the dark belly of the beast, coughed up to preach God's dream for the people... And the sign of Jonah --a man buried whole in the dark belly of the earth, taken through the gates of death to unexpected life on the other side.... God's dream for the people.

How shall we best tell of God's dream for the people in the face of rampant death without end wrapped in such violent and dark mystery?

It is as though the whole nation is gripped in a dance of limbo --a state of mind, yes --neither here nor there --uncertain in its way... --and the good news, remembering that limbo is also a dance requiring strength and agility --never danced alone. A groove.

Some of the people will always remember. And there is our hope. Off I go --to clean, to clean! An unexpected Open House tomorrow!

prayer on a chilly Friday morning with the man and dog at my side

2011-10-21T10:07:00.000-04:00

Flowers on Joel's bedside table.... I think they are rather beautiful. Survivors of the blessing of a civil marriage I presided over last Saturday... C&E in my prayers.

Today is the end of the world. Again. Pastor Howard Camping says so... I cringe that this is so-called Christianity. It is perverse. I pray.

The Arab Spring continues... Libyan ruler Moammar Gaddafi is dead. Dragged from a drainage pipe and killed according to the law of the streets in war. A vulgar death, at best. And none of it could have happened without NATO support and bombing raids from the air. I pray.

The American Fall continues... Occupy Wall Street is both condemned as unorganized, unspecific and without focus, and likewise glorified as a natal grassroots economic civil rights movement. I fear it will be abducted and dismissed. Or freeze out. So, I pray.

Most every day for the last thirty years, I have had coffee delivered to my bedside as a wake up call. Since our 30th Anniversary in early September, the absolute reverse has happened. I now deliver coffee to his bedside every morning as a wake up call. And I am content/ecstatic with that. Joel can't wait to deliver coffee again --his routine. I kinda like it with me serving.... We vie in serving. It is the day when no coffee is served at all that will be living hell.... I pray.

Besides, I put three cookies on the tray for Mr. Witty... I think he prefers my servitude. I pray. And give thanks that I am as thrilled about cookies as he.

And, then, there are the secrets of my heart... my unsaid prayers that are revealed in color and image, that make word clouds and escape out the top of my head, the chimney of my soul. I pray....

(Matthew 12:30-32)

[Jesus says,] Therefore I tell you, people will be forgiven for every sin and blasphemy, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

...and, I think, I have never heard 'speaking against the Spirit' defined.... except saying NO when you have been called, and know it.... and in a Christian context, such a call always discerned and affirmed in community. And even so.... in what ways have I been called and said no? And what does it mean for the Spirit to not forgive? Ever?

...and how does one know? For sure? And what does it mean for God to be unable/unwilling to forgive? Sheesh.

Community... communities. Howard Camping has a community convinced.... Gaddafi convinced enough people long enough... (may he finally find peace). The Occupiers supported world-wide.... (And our Nation steeped in rampant individualism....) And what does it mean when a community that says, All Are Welcome and celebrates diversity, says instead, you never fit in... talk about a sin against the Spirit....

Such is my prayer today. Turned on the heat in the back room. It's cold this morning. Even with hot coffee. In bed. With the man and dog at my side.... More question marks.... and Amen.

righteousness and justice will, at last, be planted in the great sword furrow

2011-10-20T11:40:00.000-04:00

At prayer this morning (Psalm 37:15-18)

The wicked draw their sword and bend their bow
to strike down the poor and needy,
to slaughter those who are upright in their ways.
Their sword shall go through their own heart,
and their bow shall be broken.
The little that the righteous has
is better than the great riches of the wicked.
For the power of the wicked shall be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.

The poor and needy... in the last couple of weeks or so, two sheriff deputies that work at our Richmond City Jail were fired when the accusations that they were having 'sexual contact' with women inmates proved true. This is on the heels of a former sheriff being arrested for child porn and last May a sheriff was arrested for dealing drugs in the jail. All these former deputies will not have an easy time in jail.

--so, I ask, just who are the poor and needy? Once these guys are busted and thrown in jail, are they the prisoners for whom we work to liberate? --to set free? --the very ones that wielded the sword of power, law, justice, judgment, and imprisonment that has now pierced their own hearts? Them?

--it is a difficult and complex and probably not a popular answer at best --but, yes. Indeed.

--and sometimes the work is only fruitful when the sword has been withdrawn and they are truly dead.... because for the one who offers eternal life, death is nothing at all but a fallow land, a wilderness. And that is true for both the spiritually dead as well as the physically dead.

I saw a quote at Adventus yesterday --"The central doctrine of Christianity, then, is not that God is a bastard. It is, in the words of the late Dominican theologian Herbert McCabe, that if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you." (Terry Eagleton)

If we do not love, we are dead... and the love of Christ crosses all boundaries, all constructions, all walls --so that even those who betray the opportunity to do what's right and just will find that the sword has pierced their hearts and righteousness and justice will, at last, be planted in the great sword furrow.

It is just so much easier to condemn... not to love... or at least that is the way it appears, but not the way God works... just sayin'.

--and, St. Paul was a murderer, right? --and even so....

We are all the poor and needy. All of us. Peace out.

dreams really do come true

2011-10-19T10:31:00.000-04:00

I watched the documentary Pray the Devil Back to Hell last night... women --Christian and Muslim, decided they had had enough, and sat and prayed together, and brought the war to an end that had ravaged their country and children and their own bodies.

--they went up against power, guns and brute strength with prayer. There was one part in the movie, where they had finally shamed the war lords (local leaders) and the government into peace talks --and the men couldn't come to a resolution after weeks of discussion, so the women who had been gathering and praying outside pushed their way in to the building and occupied the halls, trapping the men in the room together... when the men tried climbing out the windows, groups of women moved outside and prevented their running away... when the women were threatened with arrest, their 'leader' started to strip naked and dared them to touch her and arrest her....

I love that. L.O.V.E. it.

And, I don't know where I was that I missed all this in the news... more likely, it didn't make the news... women, Africa, prayer for peace... just sayin'. But now I understand the Nobel Peace Prize winners for 2011. Now I get it....

Still in awe... the threats against them --they risked death itself, telling their children, if I die, remember that I fought for peace.... which, when I read this this morning:

(beginning at 1 Corinthians 15:51)

Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable body must put on imperishability, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled:

"Death has been swallowed up in victory."
"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"

In a twinkling of an eye, because of a dream they had, they were changed --death was swallowed up before them....

I guess I am on a bender --an Incarnation bender... hoping and praying that the Hope I have and know in my bones does indeed break through the veil and become living flesh and blood every now and then.

And last night, I witnessed that Hope. Alive and well. I know we are supposed to be thankful for some ol' English guys that went to Armenia and India to spread the Gospel, and I am sure they were great and wonderful and all that... but last night I heard and saw the Women of Liberia --and I am filled with great Hope.

Dreams really do come true.

Amen.

(Ha! --spell check doesn't like 'imperishability.' There we are.)

the living Temple always and everywhere present....

2011-10-18T10:50:00.000-04:00

It is St. Luke's day today...

--the great story teller that should inspire our dreams and visions....

Collect of the Day: Luke the Evangelist

Almighty God, who inspired your servant Luke the physician to set forth in the Gospel the love and healing power of your Son: Graciously continue in your Church this love and power to heal, to the praise and glory of your Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

--of all the Gospels, Luke is the ultimate story-teller... --beginning and ending in the Temple. Great narratives --intimate. One can almost imagine Jesus, the child, Mary the tender mother.... But, things are popping up in my mind as I ponder what I know and feel of the Gospel of Luke --and remembering that physicians were not necessarily held in good esteem --it was not a prestigious job... dealing with the sick, infirm --the unclean... and the stories of Luke --he was probably not a Jew, as were the other evangelists...

--but it's the Temple I keep coming back to... the beginning and the end... because of the stories of the physician, the emphasis in Luke on the most vulnerable... and this little bit o' scripture leapt out at me in prayer this morning:

Canticle: A Song of the Heavenly City
Revelation 21:22-26, 22:1-4

I saw no temple in the city,
for its temple is the God of surpassing strength and the Lamb.
And the city has no need of sun or moon to light it,
for the glory of God shines on it, and its lamp is the Lamb.
By its light the nations shall walk,
and the rulers of the world lay their honor and glory there.
Its gates shall never be shut by day, nor shall there be any night;
into it they will bring the honor and glory of nations.
I saw the clean river of the water of life, bright as crystal,
flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb.
The tree of life spanned the river, giving fruit every month,
and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.
All curses cease where the throne of God and the Lamb stands,
and all servants give worship there;
there they will see God's face, whose Name shall be on their foreheads.

The Temple. The Lamb. The Light. The Water. The City of God. Images of the Church, the Body, our dwelling place, the mansion of many rooms... that's some story.... some vision....

And I am struck in re-visioning --re-thinking what it means when we call ourselves 'community' --struck this morning, because the image of community so often is imagined as the gathered people in relationship with each other.... But in the Canticle above, the dream is of the City with no Temple --which led me to think then that the community that prepares to dwell in the City-With-No-Temple necessarily forms with the Temple at the center... that what is remarkably absent in The City is centrally present in otherwise...

--and thinking to myself, it is a paradigm shift that a community with the Temple as central to its life --the Temple (as in worship and offering to God our lives and our work) as its reason to be, is a very different community from that which focuses on other things as the center of its life...

--and then imagining that radical notion that the 'absent' Temple is not 'absent' but embodied throughout --so enfleshed that the identity of God is on their foreheads... and when we make the sign of the cross on the forehead, we are not 'making' it present, we are outlining what is already present....

--and what a revolutionary act of proclamation --that Incarnation news that is brought in the flesh and blood of Jesus, and we made alive in the Living Christ --that mortal and eternal Temple... the Lamb. the Light.

I am not at all sure any of this makes sense --it is seen out of the corner of my eye... barely. And I have fewer words to try to describe what I see than the ecstasy of the Revelation....

And Joel and I speaking of myth and metaphor this morning over coffee --trying to describe or name that which is The Un-Nameable --trying to see the Face Of The One which if one does see, one will surely die ...when, in fact, the Un-Nameable Name is written across our foreheads and the Temple has been rock from rock destroyed and remade in flesh and blood... washed in the river that flows from the throne... gathering 'round that tree and eating the fruit that was once forbidden..... God's very own fruit... God's very own flesh....

And, have we lost the ability to think in such metaphor? --to dream the Name of God...? --to taste the Un-Name on our tongues? To see the Name of God on each other's forehead?

To dwell in The City with the idol of the Temple abolished and the living Temple always and everywhere present...

Oh. I dream a dream for the Church....

Hey God --it's margaret here... what a funny people we are. Calling you Almighty and All Powerful when you have revealed yourself to us as a helpless baby, taught us to sing the songs of the underdog, and you died lifted up on the cross of shame that is your throne of glory --subverting the tools and methods of our worst work to your good... you write your Name upon our foreheads, hoping that when we look at each other face to face we might know you... Thank you for the narratives of Luke, stories told to sustain us until we are prepared to venture from the confines of the temples we build and enter in to true worship.... I dream a dream for the Church that can only be told as dreams can be told.... I pray for C,M,S,J,J,K,B, for those who keep the stories alive in our midst... --and the persons coming to look at the house today.... Amen.

Peace out.